Kourtney Kardashian’s home was burglarized yesterday, according to People:
Approximately $108,000 in jewelry was stolen Saturday from Kardashian’s Calabasas, Calif. home, Los Angeles County Sheriff Sgt. Kristy Criner tells PEOPLE.
“That’s what was discovered missing in the initial investigation,” Sgt. Criner says. “Sheriff’s investigators and our crime lab are responding on the scene.”
Coincidentally, this happened just 24 hours after Lindsay Lohan had another year tacked onto her probation. Now, I’m not saying she did it, but let me ask you this: Who else could melt through a home security system with their vagina? Besides Paris Hilton. And Pamela Anderson. And, okay, Shauna Sand, Tila Tequila, Britney Spears, Spencer Pratt, Lady GaGa and probably that girl I was with last night. Besides all those people.