Kourtney Kardashian poses for Maxim

April 8th, 2009 // 120 Comments

Here’s Kourtney the Tiniest Kardashian posing for the latest issue of Maxim. Let’s take a moment to marvel that she’s even alive considering the majority of her day is spent underfoot of Sasquatch and Thunderdome. Which is truly a testament to Kourtney’s strength, resolve and uncanny ability to fit into mouse holes.

Photos: Maxim

  1. ph7

    I drill her like ANWAR.

  2. ph7

    I’d drill her like ANWAR.

  3. Wait… is this the chunky one?

  4. Frank N Stein

    The best of the Kardashians

  5. NipTuck

    She is my least favorite.

  6. NipTuck


    Least favorite of the sisters.

  7. Ted Kennedy's Tumor

    She is kind of hot. You can tell she has a chance of balooning up.

    Does she love the porch monkey meat like her older sister does?

  8. Mr. Jones

    “Got Urine?”

  9. Monkey Hunter

    Just another pile of crap monkey fucker.

  10. Monkey Hunter

    Just another pile of crap monkey fucker.

  11. norton

    Famous why?

  12. Venom

    She is so damn fine.
    Hottest of the sisters.
    And for #7, sorry your penis is so small that your girls keep leaving you for brothers.
    My deepest sympathies for you.

  13. Vanquish

    It’s like the three bears. I bet her porridge is just right.

    She’s super hot.

  14. Vanquish

    It’s like the three bears. I bet her porridge is just right.

    She’s super hot.

  15. Bickus Dickus

    I’d stick my 12″ cock right in her ass and pound her so hard that she shits herself. Then I’d stick my cock in her mouth. That’s it you little monkey loving slut, taste your own shit off the end of my cock.

  16. Ted Kennedy's Tumor

    #12, don’t worry. There are plenty of hood rats to go around. Show a black woman a little class and be a gentleman to them and they will give it up easy. Of course the typical porch monkey wants to beat on his woman to make himself feel superior to her. Even though she is smarter and earns more.

    Are those the same ‘brothers” that are on the down low?

  17. jess

    she’s probably the best of the sisters, but she really doesn’t have any photogenic quality to her… her face is always the same unemotional mask.

  18. CS3

    “hello photoshop, i’m kourtney.”
    “HELL-O, KOURT-NEY. beep boop beep.”

  19. question

    Whatever, they look the same with photoshop…

  20. Jeezy


  21. annie

    The perfect example of a girl trying to be sexy..
    keep trying dear, perhaps one day you might even believe it yourself..

  22. Jeezy


  23. Randal

    I’m not sure what the attraction is with someone, let alone a sister, attempting to become famous just because she’s related to her celebrity star sister.

    Until then, let’s just report about real celebrities here FISH and concentrate your efforts on Kim.


  24. .

    She and Kim are so pretty, Khloe obviouisly drew the genetic short straw in that family.

  25. A

    Stupid useless girl. Her and all her sisters.

  26. A

    Stupid useless girl. Her and all her sisters.

  27. J

    She is by far better looking than kim.

  28. devilsrain

    Shes definitely the hottest of the sisters but still the lack of talent is legendary. I hope Maxim didnt pay too much for this mediocre spread.

  29. Frank Beans

    Oh come on, enough of these beaners.

  30. Wha--

    Did Randal just say something negative about someone??? Is he off his meds??

  31. Organized Mess

    There he is! WTF? Randal….my eyes are deceiving me. Are you attempting to be an asshole?

  32. fribble

    Hmmm… this one has a relatively *flat* ass, but Kim “I didn’t have ass implants” Kardasian has an aircraft carrier for an ass. Very strange that two sisters would be so different where almost all sisters are the same, eh?
    Not that there is any suspicion of PLASTIC surgery. No! Not at all, couldn’t be; Kimmie is so genuine!
    All those girls are phony sh/ts and beyotches.

  33. Organized Mess


    A short ditty…

    I heard a rumor
    That Ted Kennedy’s Tumor
    sashays down the block
    and likes sucking black cock
    devoid of class,
    yet, he takes it up the ass
    posts on this site
    his skewered views from the right;
    while biting his pillow at night.


  34. fribble

    Isn’t this the one who got knocked-up?
    What did she do, buy a coat hanger?

  35. Massa'

    Finally, the bonafide list of every single black acheivment throughout history:

    1) Invented the technology of sticking a bone through your nose and plates in your lips

    2) Mastered the art of recieving welfare handouts from white people.

    3) Created the intricate distribution infrastructure of the crack house by putting a hole in the door.

    4) Invented a language so advanced and superior (ebonix) that there is no published version of it and nobody can use it effectively to communicate, because it is just unfathomable to the average human.

    And finally, the crowning acheivement of the Blacks:

    5) Devised a systematic geographic, architectural, economic & social deterioration machine that will destroy any inner city on the planet within 5 years. This machine is so advanced and foolproof that it can’t even be seen, it must’ve come from outer space, that’s how crazy fucking advanced it is…

  36. havoc

    She always struck me as an average looking Mexican chick from anywhere. In know they’re Gypsies or some shit. But she looks like your everday chica.

    That being said, I’d bang her like a Salvation Army drum…


  37. She is a bitch. I don’t like her. In fact, if I saw her at a party I would make her a luke-warm martini and everyone else’s ice cold..

    Wouldn’t even give her an olive, goddamn it

  38. havoc

    Now that’s harsh….


  39. Ted Kennedy's Tumor

    #33, that actually made me laugh.

  40. Herbie Hind

    The hot sister indeed, and yet still worthless…

  41. The Real anthonyOA


  42. Hard to tell how cute she is as she has obviously been seriously ‘shopped.

  43. Darth

    i’ve no idea who she is but don’t post her again.

  44. kagrez

    i prefer Kim.

  45. Jamie's Uterus

    She needs someone D-List guy to piss on her to become famous, or something more extreme, perhaps defecate on her?

  46. Jamie's Uterus

    She needs someone D-List guy to piss on her to become famous, or something more extreme, perhaps defecate on her?

  47. Rhialto

    Don’t post any of the Kardashians anymore.Unless they pay us bigtime.

  48. carol

    # 15 you are one sick person

  49. jonny

    Cool….can I pee on this one too?

  50. Brian

    Does this one like monkey urine on her face as well? I hope these bimbos die in a plane crash.

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