Kourtney Kardashian Tells Great Stories

January 18th, 2011 // 68 Comments

Dedicated to anyone who doesn’t believe Kourtney Kardashian is the sexy one. Via Twitter:

What a flight.@KimKardashian slept soundly next to me while my boob was about to explode with breast milk!I went to the bathroom&squeezed!

The defense rests.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. I think Bruce Jenner and Lamar Odom and yes even “the bigfoot” are the ONLY 3 in that family that are actually respect worthy.

  2. Kim is the whore, Khloe is the sasquatch and Kourtney is the __________. Fill it in because I honestly don’t know…

    • theresa

      i think your an ass, those women are beautiful,and classy,you are a blind fool,and nobody cares what you have to say,i love the whole family,they are so warm and real and smart and giving and ,both parents are great,you are a lost soul,and a very lonely person.to the kardashian /jenner/the whole family are just beautiful people all the way around,thank you for sharing your family with ours. peace and god bless you all.theresa patterson

      • Shooter McGavin

        classy? Who are you kidding?

        THe only one with any class AND thats not a GD snicker licker is Kourtney.

      • mcfeely smackup

        So making a living doing hardcore porn movies and appearing nude for skin mags is “classy” now?

        Seriously?

      • Steve Ross Is My Bitch

        Yes they’re soooo classy that one has had ass implants that are SO LARGE that her toilet had to be double bolted to the floor just to support ALL that bacon fat. Then she went and made a sex video with of all people Ray J, and the slut couldn’t even suck his penis correctly but to make up for it she let him go to the bathroom on her because he probably respected the toilet more then her, then when she began to see that she was no longer relevant, she started chasing every black man that could catch a football, but Reggie turned out to be TOO smart for her and saw what a nasty, passed around, famewhore, dollar bill chasing skank she was and kicked that disease ridden cum bucket to the curb. Yes, I’m talking about the slut wagon Kim, that’s too dumb to realize that her 15 minutes was up 5 years ago.

        Then we have Kourtney, the dumb broad that’s so warped and stupid that she can’t even see that her kid’s dad is nothing but an alcoholic bum that treats her worse then shit on the bottom of his shoe, but she puts up with it and chases him like a crackhead chases crack. I got more respect for the crackhead.

        Then we have sasquatch, oops, I mean Khloe. The little sister that’s BIGGER then the big sisters. How the heck does that even work out? She knew she was a nobody from birth, and for a while was just a hanger-on, but then she struck pay dirt in a dumb, basketball dribbling neanderthol and is just now becoming somewhat important. **snicker**

        Then you have Kris, the mom, that’s pimping them ALL out and when the younger sisters get old enough, in which they’ve already been groomed I’m sure in the whore fashion, will become mediawhores as well, because whoredom runs in that family.

        I don’t understand Bruce Jenner, he’s supposed to be a trained athelete in field sports, track included, but yet he doesn’t choose to run from these stigeon witches., perhaps it’s all that plastic surger he’s had and he’s comfortable living and looking like a California raisin.

        And peace and god bless you too theresa, because it’s obvious you need Jesus so that you can stop worshipping these fame hungry, USEless WHORES.

      • s'up bitches

        Kim I mean theresa could you kindly stop flicking your tongue against the Kardashians’ clits long enough to realize this is the Superficial? Unless, of course, you are their publicist, in which case, I feel sorry for you. However, if this is any of the Kardashians, can a piss on you? : )

      • Burt

        Classy?

        1) You must be one of the few people who actually thinks porn movies can be released without the written consent of all participants.

        2) Did you watch them on Conan, the three of them? Potty mouths, the three of them.

      • abe vigoda's eyebrows

        No YOU Theresa, are a lost soul if you think these people are beautiful on the inside.

        It is pathetic that you would fall for such shit, and emulate it.

      • juaquin ingles

        Relax people, theresa is Randal’s mom.

      • KimsGapingHole

        erm..yeah theresa…let’s all hope and pray we’ll be as classy as this:

        http://www.spike.com/video/did-kim-kardashian/2866935

  3. I bet those giant moles on her back tell an interesting story too.

  4. discerned dabbler

    the only one of the bunch I would do in the face.

  5. Deacon Jones

    I bet pillow talk with her is divine.

    “You told me you wouldn’t put it in THERE again unless I’m drunk”

    “I’m sorry” (immediately passes out)

  6. So…her boobs joined the mile-high club?

  7. Something tells me she gets a mean 5 o’clock shadow. By noon.

  8. Thanks for twittering…now something ELSE the airlines will want to charge us extra for.

  9. She should have let it explode. Let Kim wonder why she woke up covered in bodily fluids…again.

  10. I think I can get at least one more in:

    That’s just selfish. She should have grabbed one of the screaming kids on the plane and killed two birds with one stone.

  11. Poor thing, having to squeeze ‘em herself in the plane’s bathroom! Where the hell’s a decent TSA agent when you need one?

  12. nonminti

    well,when you have siblings you need to share.However,brains was in short supply and there was nothing left for Kourtney. I guess you can not help yourself what you think but you could just look less not-so-smart and stay silent. Or not!

  13. Kourtney Kardashian
    Hmmmmm
    Commented on this photo:

    boiiiiiiiing

  14. Hate Rough? you probably hate freedom

    Tell that to George Lucas. Because one of the KK girls happen to be in possession of the tectonic plates GL was talking about, and Kourtney does not have em. As lovely as she is…Plus Lucas does not have a MOM fetish…

  15. Mike

    Breakfast at the Kardashians’ is awesome; Kourtney gives skim milk, Kim gives chocolate milk, and Khloe gives goats milk.

  16. RoboZombie

    So, when my schlong is “ready to explode”. why is it frowned upon if I go and “squeeze” it???

  17. JP

    Why post something this stupid on Twitter? Ugh.

  18. Kourtney Kardashian
    whatever dogg
    Commented on this photo:

    That mental image of her tits being so full she has to excuse herself to squirt like she’s jerkin’ somebody off…wow.

  19. Sandra Hopkins

    Is it really true? She’s such a beauty.

  20. Rhialto

    An exploding breast. That wouldn’t be nice at all…

  21. Nero

    Breast milk?! *grabs chest*

  22. Kourtney Kardashian
    sva1994
    Commented on this photo:

    My god, it’s Jimmy Durante!

  23. Hugh Gentry

    I would love to have this on video…

  24. denisedamenace

    I don’t think that was breast milk that was hurting her. It was all that goo her fake boobs are filled with that was reacting to the cabin pressure.

    She should have stuck a nipple in Kim’s mouth. We’ve all seen Kim’s video. She automatically starts sucking even when she’s asleep.

  25. Lisa

    Does that mean there’s silicone in them?

  26. Mile-High Milky Mama Makes Mammories Manufacture Manually…Man!

  27. Hmmm…so she’s a mammal.

  28. Kourtney Kardashian
    Jon Hex
    Commented on this photo:

    Of course she was the first one to get married. As Michael Bluth said: “You got to lock that down.”

  29. mel

    this one looks hygenic and enticing whereas kim appears as if she’d reek of a recently spackled toilet that was wiped with charlie sheens bed sheets.

  30. Kayne East

    Skin Kancer. By Koutrney Kardashian.

  31. Kourtney Kardashian
    Jess
    Commented on this photo:

    She is the only pretty one.

  32. timmy the dying boy

    What’s with her elbow? That think looks like it should be able to talk.

  33. Julie

    she doesn’t seem all that inteligent does she? out of the three of them, she is my favorite though. kim seems to conceded, which i mean shes beautiful but anyone with eyes can see that so theres no need for her to rub it in peoples faces all the time, and khloe just seems kind of trashy. with all her money you would think she would try and act like it. but i mean she is married to a basketball player so i guess it’s expected:) lol

    • Happy Spillmore

      While I agree, I must say…anyone misspelling the word “intelligent” while trying to criticize others intelligence, is a fucking moron.

  34. uncle bill

    yep: HOW TO F*CK AMERICAN LOSERS!!

  35. clyde

    moley, moley, moley, moley…MOLEY

  36. atotalcad

    Great. Now she can make Milk Maid porn.

  37. Kourtney Kardashian
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy Moly.

  38. burner

    NONE of these nasty gypsies are respectable of talented, none of them should be famous, some stupid Amercians made these nobodies famous.

  39. Kourtney Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s gorgeous!!!!! cute dress

  40. Kourtney Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    what a milf

  41. Kourtney Kardashian
    Jon
    Commented on this photo:

    Moles are sexy!

  42. Kourtney Kardashian
    nightwolf
    Commented on this photo:

    If you were to say Kim is curvier you would be correct, but if you were to say she was cuter… that would be a lie =)

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