There’s Probably A Kourtney Kardashian Sex Tape

May 16th, 2012 // 33 Comments
Definitely Didn't Make One
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Dear God, please be recent…

Apparently before he started dating Kourtney Kardashian, Patrick Bateman’s little brother Scott Disick and his buddies used to get chicks high and/or drunk off their ass, then film each other having sex with them for sport and/or to look at each others wieners. It’s a story rife with subtext. Life & Style reports:

Flashing strangers, skinny-dipping in pools, getting intimate with blondes in hot tubs and even engaging in orgies with his buddies, Scott was known as the exhibitionist of the rowdy posse. “We’d bring back different groups of girls to one of our houses and do various things to them,” admits Donald, who alleges that while protection wasn’t always used, alcohol and marijuana sometimes were — and could have clouded the judgment of the females on the tapes.
“We tried to make it a daily routine, and some nights would be taped. There’s probably a good eight or nine tapes.”
“We thought, If we start videotaping ourselves, maybe one day we can make a TV show out of it,” he tells Life & Style. “Now Scott’s on a reality show. He was always trying to make it to the top. “

KRIS: Hi, Kris Jenner. Nice to meet you.
SCOTT: Scott Disick. The pleasure’s mine.
KRIS: Scott, I’ll cut to the chase. I hear you like to make sex tapes.
SCOTT: I do.
KRIS: How’d you like to come over for dinner and meet my daughter?
SCOTT: That’d be great, Mrs. Jenner, except you’re already on top of my penis making me ejaculate into you without a condom on.
KRIS: Oh, please, don’t worry about that. I’ll just tell my husband the baby his. So dinner at 6?

And that’s the story of how Kylie was born. The End.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. USDA Prime McBeef

    Hey, Kourt, give your sister a big long MOOOOOOOO for me, will ya?

  2. heeda

    Brill one of the best stories on superficial!!!!!!!

  3. Ahhhh… Moo’s sis.

  4. kimmykimkim

    Hahahaha!! “Probably.” I’d bet my life savings that there is definitely a sex tape, because I would like to double my life savings. Who wouldn’t?

  5. Crabby Old Guy

    A “Kardashian Sex Tape” huh? Well I hear that the National Geographic Channel has some open time slots available.

  6. Kourtney Kardashian Sex Tape Kim Kardashian Mason
    Commented on this photo:

    MOOOOOOOOOO x 2

  7. Sweet. Release Khloe’s too and we’ll have ourselves a nice trilogy.

    *horf*

    • What a great idea! We could call it “The Bored* Without Rings Trilogy.” We could have popcorn and candy, sodas, cartoons between each “episode.” C’mon, gang, let’s put on a show!

      * (in various orifices)

  8. morostro

    How is this news?? In the first season of their show on E! Kourtney admitted to letting some dude take naked pics of her and Kim, or Kim took the pics to be sent to the guy…anyway…sex tape= duh!!

  9. it had to be said

    Screw all the moooooing. If Kort has a pre-pregnancy sex tape I really, really want to see it.

  10. JC

    Which network did this dipshit think was going to air a show of grainy videos of him and his buds “doing various things” to chicks? That sounds like free uploads to redtube, at best.

    Also, “various things” = “something the police would consider a sex crime.” Guaranteed. You might want to get rid of those, buddy boy, before the cops identify an unconscious 15-year-old in one of them.

  11. Since when is reality tv “the top” for anyone who didn’t push a kid out at 16?

    • Franziska

      I just had to say you had me laughing at work. It haepnps most often that I find something funny but not often I laugh out loud. keep it up.

  12. rican

    Would that be classified under midget sex?

  13. JakeZero

    Wait. Wasn’t this part of the plot of a movie called Flatliners? Where a guy would secretly tape girls while they were having sexytime?

    Scott is a ripoff retard.

  14. tits mcgee

    “We thought, If we start videotaping ourselves, maybe one day we can make a TV show out of it,” he tells Life & Style. “Now Scott’s on a reality show. He was always trying to make it to the top. “

    Is it this even in English?

    • rantatonne

      A more appropriate question may be what reference number will this quote be given in the soon to come book, “Understanding the Sinking of America : The Fall of the Last Superpower.”

  15. Kourtney Kardashian Sex Tape Kim Kardashian Mason
    busty sinclair
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t think it was possible for children to look like douche bags…boy was I wrong.

  16. No, that wasn’t “Flatliners”…that was about medical students experimenting with killing then reviving each other before it was too late. Sort of spooky.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      If you’ve seen that movie then why don’t you know that William Baldwin’s character in the movie DOES film women while banging them? It’s part of the movie, just not the actual premise.

  17. Kourtney Kardashian Sex Tape Kim Kardashian Mason
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    Test

    • Latisha

      Hey Maddi!My DVDs are already out. I am in the prcoess of getting them duplicated again. So, as soon as I can get them coppied and shipped to my door, I’ll let you know!It’s always great to have a fan Your Balloon Man,Mr. Fudge

  18. Kourtney Kardashian Sex Tape Kim Kardashian Mason
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    Mooo

  19. You would be suprised how many celebrities have sex tapes stashed away for a rainy day when they need some free publicity. All the Kardashians have one, and expect the Courtney Stodden tape in the future.

  20. Rapsutin's Evil Twin

    Kind of makes you wonder about the idea of a merciful God, doesn’t it? My brother and I think God’s developed a drinking problem, from having to put up with the human race all this time.

    The thought of this sex tape… “Shudder” We’ll be at the bar.

  21. Kourtney Kardashian Sex Tape Kim Kardashian Mason
    Hafiz
    Commented on this photo:

    It makes me laugh to see people get so htaeed about someone else having a baby. You aren’t the mom, or the child, nor do you know these people personally so why the hell does it matter so much to you? As fellow parents, you should be rooting and praying for a healthy strong baby and love within the family, not putting them down. They are people and a family just like any of us, they just have more money and cameras. SO WHAT?? what makes them so inhuman or incapable of raising children? Shame on you for putting anyone else down as a parent. I’m confident people could look at any of us and critisize our parenting the same way you critisize theirs. I have my second on the way, 6 weeks along, and a 15 month old son. We have already told some family and a few friends and are continuing to tell more. Congrats to all on their pregnancies, including kourtney, and may everyone have healthy babies and a loving stable home to bring them into.

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