So, true story, last night as I was prepping pics for today, I saw these shots of Kourtney Kardashian and was going to make a joke about her being pregnant to take the heat off Kim’s divorce. So, of course, guess who announced she’s pregnant even though this morning she’s still in the first trimester? And, no, it’s not Reese Witherspoon even though that was my guess, too. Us Weekly reports:
The E! reality star, 32, took a pregnancy test about five weeks ago — and woke up Disick, 28 (not a morning person!), around 7.a.m. to tell him the positive results.
“Now I’m nine weeks along,” Kardashian tells Us. “You’re supposed to wait 12 weeks to tell people, but I feel confident.”
Read: “I hadn’t even pulled the still-wet pregnancy test away from my vagina before Kris Jenner waved a gun in my face and made me start the bidding.” That said, you almost have to respect Kourtney being so devoted to her family, that she got pregnant just so people will stop talking about how big of a money-grubbing whore Kim is. (Case in point: Kim won’t get pregnant herself because everyone knows babies steal money.) And if you’re wondering why Khloe didn’t take the baby bullet this time, I think it’s pretty obvious what’s happening here: Women who don’t know who their real father is are stricken barren by God. That’s just basic anatomy.
Photos: Splash News, WENN
Quick get the camera’s and alert the media, we got some money to make around here! Whore.
What a good sister to go and get knocked up just to take the heat off her sibling. FAIL
Your apostrophe in cameras sucks big-time.
I think any mention of the Kardashian family should be forbidden. Their 15 minutes should have been up long ago.
I bet this is one of those pregnancies where you’ll be able to see hand and face prints on her belly – from the inside.
Ughhh I just shuddered imagining that!
Get knocked up by the immature, abusive nutsack that you spend sooo much time complaining about…
These whores will do absolutely anything to stay relevant.
Agreed. These whores are annoying. This ones voice makes me sick.
Goddammit we don’t need another member of this dreadful clan.
And the father is….?????
honest, I only visited “Bash”, calabasas!!!
Fake pregnancy announced early will end in a fake miscarriage to try to sucker public sympathy for whore family in 5…4…3…2…
+1,000
Exactly!!! At least we can take solace in the fact that humphries blasts farts in her bitch-ass soulless face whenever he can. Too bad he doesn’t follow up with a shove down the stairs – maybe one day.
I’m beginning to think Daniel Graig co-writes this site.
Daniel Craig “You can’t buy it back – you can’t buy your privacy back. Ooh I want to be alone. F— you. We’ve been in your living room. We were at your birth. You filmed it for us and showed us the placenta and now you want some privacy?” I puke all over the Kardashian Klan……
Spot on response Fish, “Read: “I hadn’t even pulled the still-wet pregnancy test away from my vagina before Kris Jenner waved a gun in my face and made me start the bidding.”
These cunts will do ANYTHING to keep themselves in the spotlight. I’m waiting for a good drug addiction story from these assholes which results in overdose. Bring on the Koolaid!
No, bring on the GIN … called Mother’s Ruin in Britain for a bloody good reason. Causes spontaneous abortion :) Is that bad ??
Kim get married for attention and Kourtney has babies. I’m sorry but this family makes me sick.
Why are you sorry ? They make everyone in their right mind sick.
Boo…you whore…
I hope she miskarries.
you’re a disgusting excuse for a human being.
You must spend a lot of time on the internet calling people “disgusting” and what not.
I with Georgio although I think JC above has it pegged; it’s a fake pregnancy which will result in a fake miskarriage designed to make the public feel sorry for her.
Yea! More bastard over-privileged self-important kids! Ameriica! Fuck yeah!
That’s provided this isn’t a total sham, and that she is actually human and capable of creating life.
Please God, let it be a retarded baby. It’s the only thing worth watching in their life.
If Scott Dipshit is the father ? It WILL be retarded. No worries !
I hope the baby dies in a car fire.
I wouldn’t wish anything bad on the child if there is in fact a baby to be had. But I do believe this is a ploy to take the heat off Kim, and the story of a miscarriage is right around the corner. Poor child if there is one. What the heck is she thinking though. She has already said the this dude she’s living with (for ratings) is just playing the game because of the show and she dosen’t trust him. This makes her look like a total hypocrite. This baby is going to be aroud a lot longer than she is. Mama Ho Kris is seriously pulling out all the stops here. The only sis I give any credit to is Khloe because at least she’s sticking with the rules of the game and putting up a good front concerning her marriage with Lamar Odom. Kourtney is a SELL OUT!!!
You don’t stick a pregnancy test in your vagina, you pee on it. Fish once again shows his expertise in the field of female anatomy.
“I hadn’t even pulled the still-wet pregnancy test away from my vagina…”
I don’t see “in” anywhere. I’ve never taken a pregnancy test or watched a woman take one, but I’m pretty sure that to pee on the stick, it should be in the general vicinity of the woman’s vagina.
This bullshit woke me up this morning! All I heard was Kardashian and something about Scott. Then I hit snooze and had this marvelous dream that Scott was killed in cocaine fueled car accident. But now that I know what’s really going on, I’m extremely disappointed. Let’s hope it was a premonition.
+ 1 !!
I love a country where anyone can become a millionaire, and not have to build homes, wash dishes, style hair, clean houses, serve food, answer telephones, pick up garbage, play the stocks, go to college for, write papers, fish, drive a semi cross country, guard borders, teach, argue a case, operate…
Kardashians are living the American dream, and beyond.
She is basically a hoodrat, a richer one with two babies from her baby daddy, but a hoodrat nonetheless.
I think it is hilarious that the one that dates the poor guy is going to have two kids from him now, but the two sisters that are supreme gold diggers that only go after wealthy men can’t get pregnant to save their life.
Did she use Kim’s new test market item, the Kim Kardashian Home Pregnancy Kit?
I heard it’s super easy to use, you just pee on this little picture of Kim, and if she gives you the thumbs up, you’re pregnant. If she opens her mouth, you’re black.
Well, Kim could have a “fake” pregnancy and then “pretend” to lose the baby, then everyone could feel sorry for her.
Seriously? Why get knocked up agai
n by that douche of a boyfriend? Ugh.
guys, she’s confident. that means she could never miscarry.
GotDammit! Didn’t they figure out what caused this the first time????
That’s not a good thing since their first child looks alarmingly like a small marsupial or chimp. Doesn’t bode will for a girl child, and while all of these whores have had tons of plastic surgery, the kid will grow up being photographed for money and scarred for life even after her tons of obligatory plastic surgery which will only start in Mexico at age 12. Since both parents are dumb and devoid of personalities, what do they actually have to genetically offer a child since we know looks isn’t going to be on the table for child two if child one is so looks challenged? Yet he still has no interest in marrying the mother of his child, because an unemployed coke addict is such great father material, his only income hanging on to Kourts labia for dear life.
Oh, yay.
Do the Kardashians live in West Hollywood—”WeHo”? Because that would really be fitting.
Not surprising.
I hate to state the obvious but I will:
Trash, and DESPERATE trash at that…
Not to be outwhored by Kim, Kourtney will abort the baby 72 days after today but not before making sure to have a Kardashian’s ‘We’re Breeding!” special worth millions.