Kourtney Kardashian is Pregnant

So, true story, last night as I was prepping pics for today, I saw these shots of Kourtney Kardashian and was going to make a joke about her being pregnant to take the heat off Kim’s divorce. So, of course, guess who announced she’s pregnant even though this morning she’s still in the first trimester? And, no, it’s not Reese Witherspoon even though that was my guess, too. Us Weekly reports:

The E! reality star, 32, took a pregnancy test about five weeks ago — and woke up Disick, 28 (not a morning person!), around 7.a.m. to tell him the positive results.
“Now I’m nine weeks along,” Kardashian tells Us. “You’re supposed to wait 12 weeks to tell people, but I feel confident.”

Read: “I hadn’t even pulled the still-wet pregnancy test away from my vagina before Kris Jenner waved a gun in my face and made me start the bidding.” That said, you almost have to respect Kourtney being so devoted to her family, that she got pregnant just so people will stop talking about how big of a money-grubbing whore Kim is. (Case in point: Kim won’t get pregnant herself because everyone knows babies steal money.) And if you’re wondering why Khloe didn’t take the baby bullet this time, I think it’s pretty obvious what’s happening here: Women who don’t know who their real father is are stricken barren by God. That’s just basic anatomy.

Photos: Splash News, WENN