Kirstie Alley wears a bikini on Oprah

November 6th, 2006 // 177 Comments

If you watch today’s Oprah you’ll be treated to Kirstie Alley showing off her newly slimmed body (she dropped 75 lbs) in a bikini. And I use the word ‘treated’ in the loosest possible sense, since looking at her is still akin to sticking your penis in the garbage disposal. She looks way better than before, but considering she used to have the gravitational mass of the moon the only way she wouldn’t look better is if she grew a third arm out of her forehead and her skin was replaced by mold.


  1. JoBOO


    What’s that stripe running down her gut?

    Oh yeah — TCLTC.

  2. JoBOO


    What’s that stripe running down her gut?

    Oh yeah — TCLTC.

  3. missykissy

    I could have used a little more cowbell

  4. JoBOO


    What’s that stripe running down her gut?

    Oh yeah — TCLTC.

  5. pat

    it’s where they removed a retard named JoBoo by c-section

  6. JoBOO


    I’d hit that at least twice.


  7. xTropicalx

    at least she looks a lot better

  8. commissioner

    Oh, Lawdy! It is surely the end of times.

  9. She hasn’t just lost weight–she’s apparently lost her dignity as well.

  10. PapaHotNuts

    Not bad for such a fat cow.

  11. gumby

    it was a very heart-warming and affirmative time, for all real women with curves, until a spark flew out from her grinding hippo thighs and lit the whole stage on fire

  12. DrBob2607

    Wow…. How…attractive…
    She’s hot is a sort of “She’s pretty when I’m drunk and I’m pretty fucking drunk” sort of way.
    What the hell, I’d use the old Black and Decker wiener trowel and spackle her.

  13. gumby

    if only oprah had stripped down to a thong right next to her

  14. What a waste of good flesh.

    Who’s taking bets ‘JoBOO’ won’t be back!

  15. AmericanMcKrout

    Oprah looks like she’d enjoy a little Kirstie Muff Pie. Not that there’s anything wrong with that- it would be great for sweeps week, and I, myself, might even consider watching for once.

  16. *bob*

    13th!!!! Yippie Yay!! I’m a righteous poster – aren’t I impressive and super cool?

    There is absolutely NO WAY in hell this liar was 220 lbs, 5’8″ at her highest weight, and therefore, there is NO WAY she is now 145 lbs at 5’8″ now after losing 75 lbs.

    At best, she was 310 lbs at her heaviest and is now around 210 … TOPS!!! I dare her to prove she weights 145 lbs … like on the Howard Stern show or something. DARE!!!!

  17. PrettyBaby

    Can I say that I greatly dislike Oprah? And this is the reason. She always has dumb shit like this on her show. Trying to affirm that being happy with yourself is okay and shit. Now if she had Nicole Ritchie’s twig like body in a bikini, that would be something to see.

  18. Hey, at least she lost some weight. I think she looks fab!!

  19. AmericanMcKrout

    Oh, and I am impressed that I’m not seeing any stretch marks. I wonder if she got a spray-on white tan a la Eva?

  20. *bob*

    17th rather!!! I cannot believe I am 17th out of what is likely to be around 200 posters on this story!! Amazing!! What are the chances???

    *** puke ***

  21. Sho'Nuff

    I love seeing women that were once hot gain a lot of weight then lose the majority of it and try to show off their body like they are once hot again. I think I just threw up in my mouth.

  22. PrettyBaby

    And Kirstie Alley is a well- known Nose Powderer.

  23. *bob*

    crap – 25th????

  24. PapaHotNuts

    I like to convince her she was too skinny and watch her pile the pounds back on.

  25. *bob*


  26. *bob*


  27. *bob*

    OH MY GOD!!! Dear Diary: I was the 26th poster to this bullshit story on some sad celebrity today at this cool website!!! Gotta run over to YouTube now!!! Bye Bye!!!

  28. AmericanMcKrout

    #17- you said it. ‘Be happy with yourself the way you are!’ when she herself has tried everything but bariatric surgery to get skinny. Maybe Kirstie makes her feel thin or something. Frankly, if was worth as much moolah as Queen O, I think I could find some more constructive ways to boost my self-esteem.

  29. BarbadoSlim

    I’d plow this, definitely, and do lines of blow off her ample buttocks.

    oh yeah MILFs RULE!!!

  30. AmericanMcKrout

    PS: I bet if she took off that underwire push-up bra, her nipples would be looking at the floor! (God, I’m catty!)

  31. Pagan Queen

    See what drinking Scientology koolaid can do for you?

  32. Good for her. I give her props for dropping the weight, and then fueling Oprahs’s lesbian desires by doing the bikini thing.

    I am confused by her happy trail though. Looks like a Ferret tail sticking out of her bikini.

  33. AmericanMcKrout

    Barbado- I don’t have any blow, but I’m sure good with the ‘suck.’ If you like MILF’s, I’ll let you do lines of cheez-whiz off MY butt.
    Just offering…

  34. The longer I look at that last pic the more think Oprah probably fucked her after the show.

    PS – I think the happy trail thingy is actually a tassle thingy.

  35. *bob*

    Whoever says they would “hit it” … I have an ugly, fat cousin you would probably hit as well. Yeah … show us Nicole Ritchie in a bikini any day over this delusional trainwreck.

  36. gatorbates

    Another limerick:

    There once was a chick on Cheers
    Who served all the customers beers
    But she ate so much food
    And never, ever poo’d
    To lose all that weight would take years.

  37. *bob*

    The trail is the seam in here girdle support hose.

  38. PrettyBaby

    It really looks like Oprah is gonna attack her pussy!! All the hot ladies on her show and this is who she wants to eat!! There is something wrong with that cunt

    And Kirstie, your tryin to hide your bumpy thighs under your tacky “cover-up”

    Oprah Likes Coked-Up Pussy

  39. gatorbates

    The happy trail is a microphone wire, I think.

    She’s the only 50+ fat bitch I’d drill.

    Maybe she should swallow more semen. I hear it helps with weight loss.

  40. BigJim

    She still weighs about three times as much as Nicole Richie. What a cow.

  41. PrettyBaby

    #39 However Oprah will have satisfied her already and she won’t need no stinking gator :(

  42. pinky_nip

    To all the guys on here who keep saying “I’d hit it”…

    I never knew there were so many African-American posters on here!

  43. Tracy

    There’s no way in hell she’s 145 lbs. No way! Maybe her left leg weighs 145, but not the whole Kirstie.

    Remember Mr. Rogers (from “the Neighborhood”)? He weighed 145 lbs. Kirstie is a Mr. Rogers and a half, at least.

  44. PrettyBaby

    #42 pinky_nip Yo, props on dat. Word.

  45. drrey

    there’s a giant angry red surgery scar and bunched-up flesh under her bikini, from the “we need a stronger winch!” tummy tuck. that’s got to be the single worst april fools sex moments, when somebody like kirstie gets naked. talk about vanity – try to look great in a dress, and put all the unspeakable living waste down by the pussy. thanks, doc.

  46. Alice-Mary

    eh, she doesn’t look that bad. not great, but not life-scarring or anything.

    however, she doesn’t weigh 145 pounds. i’d actually guess closer to 165. she looks alright tho.

    all you chicks who are bitchin at her need to get a life. don’t try to tell me you don’t have that totally sweethearted pudgy friend.

  47. She makes Oprah look thin by comparison. Here we go again. As she did before, Kirstie will show off her less-sizeable ass and cash a bunch of checks from Jenny Craig. Then, three months from now – after Turkey Day, Christmas, New Years, and a new Sonic opening on her street corner – she’ll be fat as ever. Then we can all get on the roller coaster once again as she does a public mea culpa, re-ups with Jenny, and dupes a bunch more people into not calling Richard Simmons.

  48. normella

    #16 – right fucking on. There is no way in holy hell she weighs 145lbs. I’m 5’7″ and weigh between 145-150 and I look a hell of a lot thinner than she does. DUDE. LOOK AT HER LEGS. THEY’RE LIKE TRUNKS.

    Moreover, Oprah is 5’7″ and weighs 150lbs and she looks way thinner than Kirstie Alley. Listen, I’m all for weight loss but bitch was lying.

  49. BLucky

    She looks good. *shrugs*

  50. Oh yeah. Definitely hit it. I bet she is a screamer! MILF city.

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