Kirstie Alley Was a Good Choice

March 8th, 2011 // 78 Comments

Part of the deal of being a Dancing With The Stars contestant is striking sassy poses in front of the paparazzi as you leave your daily rehearsal with your dance partner. Which is something someone probably should’ve explained a little bit clearer to Kirstie Alley who looks like she’s about to birth sextuplets in the parking lot. Although kudos to Maksim Chmerkovskiy for trying to keep the magic alive by playfully bouncing off her as she gets in her car. That’s a team player. However, in Kirstie’s defense, at least she didn’t get behind the wheel and immediately make a beeline to McDonald’s ala every single time Bristol Palin was forced to workout. Except what Kirstie did do is go home and believe alien ghosts control our every thought and emotion, so let’s call that one a draw.

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Lady Blah Blah

    Isn’t there a Navy vessel in the area that can fire something at her?

  2. holy FUCK she’s on dwts?? somehow i can only imagine it ending like this


    bet her pussy taste great

  4. DogBoy

    i’d hit it.. but with a handful of flour first.

  5. Bucky Barnes

    This will end badly. Remember the scene from The Wizard of Oz when the house lands on the witch? Kirstie is the house, Maks is the witch.

  6. Maksim Chumstick appears to be thinking “sweet mother russia…that is one big ass”

  7. HumpinFrog

    I’m thinking something from the Beauty and the Beast for the win this year. Shave him. Put him in a gown and tiara. Roll her out there. Done.

  8. Vivian

    Fat people can dance, sure…but Kristie? on dwts? why? why? can someone explain this?

    • The guy

      That’s George Clinton – which means a reunion of the all stars after the loss of the Starchild.

  9. I hope that’s nail polish, because her left hand looks like it needs an amputating.

  10. Kirstie Alley
    Commented on this photo:

    She should really try to avoid being seen sideways.

  11. PoonHound

    Jesus! Does she own a mirror? She was hot in Star Trek II, but now… The bleached hair, Sharpei face, and gigantic badonkadonk are quite the package.

  12. HumpinFrog

    Are better yet, Titanic. Just have her slowly sink in a big tub of water with Celine singing in the background. Have the bearded one twirling until her blow hole goes under and fade the lignts. Cut to commercial. Done.

  13. Deacon Jones

    Her fucking hands are purple.

    She ‘s going to have a heart attack during this competition, mark my words.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Deacon, I think you are definitely right, probably happen during the pre-dance interview portion of the program. Either that or one or both of her legs will collapse from the extended period of time she has to stand on them.

    • You guys are overthinking this. Blueberry pie, no available fork. Do the math.

  14. noooooooooo

    For a moment I thought she ate him or was hiding him under her shirt, and then I realized he was still alive for now. Her gravitational pull kept me from looking at the rest of the picture.

  15. Kirstie Alley
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing like a fat, 60-year old has been to suck in the ratings. And the craft services table.

  16. Kirstie Alley
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t she like 60 now or close to it? Is she this hard up for money?Some people drink it all away, I think she ate it all away.

  17. the2ndsuitor

    She looks like the physical embodiment of a Charlie Sheen quote.

  18. slappy magoo

    The dead are coming back to life, and the first ones to be reanimated are transvestites from John Waters movies…

    wait…that’s NOT Divine’s corpse?

  19. The Critical Crassness

    OMG! I think that she is carrying one of those softside coolers containing her lunch. No wonder she weighs more than Shamu!

  20. Cool Guy

    Her eyes, mouth, and nose are almost being suffocated by all the fat that is foldng over her face.

  21. The Truth

    Dumb post, she doesnt need to go straight to mickey deez cause that bag is filled with food.

  22. Kirstie Alley
    Commented on this photo:

    I take it Eating Less With The Stars had already been cast.

  23. Kirstie Alley
    That Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Caption: “Heeeey!”

  24. Clarence Beeks

    she’s hoping to lose weight, and at least this will get her moving. I have never watched this lame show, and still will not.

    besides getting rid of some fat, she needs to get rid of the blonde hair. Irt is horrendous on her. I was watching “Cheers” the other day, and she was so gorgeous! It is sad to see what she has done to herself.

  25. Kirstie Alley
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude – is that Fergie?

  26. Eric

    Does she have a baked ham in that lunch bag?

  27. activia

    i don’t care. i like her and she still looks 900x better than bristol palin.

    and the only reason i am going to watch this show is so I can bust a nut over petra nemcova

  28. Kirstie Alley
    Commented on this photo:


  29. puddleduck

    Can’t wait to see this frumpy, fat ass, has-been roll around on the dance floor…

  30. paulosham

    She looks like Predator.

  31. Ksurfiws

    I think my new Sigmund and the Sea Monsters cover band just found their new Frontman!

  32. She looks like a 17-year-old. Unfortunately, that 17-year-old is Amber Portwood.

  33. Kirstie Alley
    Commented on this photo:

    Fergie and her son, 2025.

  34. rican

    I’d like to see her in that bikini now.

  35. See Alice

    Comparing her to B Palin ? I dont get it ? Is it just a political swipe ?

  36. Rough Tuesday

    If hiring ms (ALLEY) an attempt to get me to watch this show, it’s working..

  37. Carson

    Man, Fergie has really let herself go.

  38. Damien Louis

    Brittney Spears in 20 years.

  39. Kirstie Alley
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, I didn’t know there was a chick on earth I would actually not have sex with, but there she is! Amazing.

  40. welldoneson

    Gawddammit ta hell, bitch, miss a meal willya?
    People are starving because of you!

  41. Kirstie Alley
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she barefoot or have her shoes been subsumed by her bulk?

  42. ghost

    I forgot which diet plan this She-beast was endorsing. Was it Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers?

  43. DWTS? We are seriously using the term “Star” loosely here.

  44. Kirstie Alley
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    I predict the first time she dances the Richter scale will give her a higher score than the judges will.

  45. Deacon Jones

    She should be on “Wipeout”.

    Instead of launching volleyballs at people, they could launch Kirstie Allie at them, complete with a napkin necktie and utensils.

  46. cc

    How can I post the sound of me screaming?

  47. cc

    Dancing with the Stars – now featuring a fat cryptkeeper.

  48. Kirstie Alley
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    There have been some goddamn strange pictures on the site recently, things that make me question the future of humankind.

  49. Dregs

    She is Vigo! You are like the buzzing of flies to her!
    Time is but a window. I’ll be back!

  50. Cock Dr

    Despite her massive bulging breasts no SW posters have indicated their eagerness to lunch on Ms Alley’s ass. So sad.

Leave A Comment