Kirstie Alley Probably Shouldn’t Have Lost All That Weight So Fast

December 7th, 2011 // 101 Comments

Possibly motivated by a self-imposed dry spell after refusing to engage in “fat sex” (a.k.a. Every night of the week for this motherfucker. High five!), Kirstie Alley rapidly shed a dramatic 100 pounds presumably by using Scientology slave laborers to tunnel out all the cellulite so it can power an entire prison/pleasure yacht. Except she probably should’ve taken into account that the older you get, the less elasticity your skin has, so it’s practically a miracle people aren’t tripping and falling behind her. “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to carry your excess face in a cart. It’s for liability purposes, you understand.”

Photos: Fame, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN


  1. Donald Trump

    She looks tired. A little jowl-lift and she’ll be right as rain.

  2. Kirstie Alley Drooping Face Neck Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s meeeeeeeeeelting!!!

  3. Chauncey

    Jesus fuckin’ Christ…Has she been visited by the Purifier?

    Will somebody please post a picture of her from “Cheers”

  4. Considering this woman is 60 years old, I think she’s honestly doing A-OK.

  5. Kirstie Alley Drooping Face Neck Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen those hands before……oh yeah Freddy freakin Krueger

  6. Marie C

    Leave her alone! At 60 she is finall getting some credit!

  7. Kirstie Alley Drooping Face Neck Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Aughra…

    Go on deny it, she was just out helping Jen on his quest.

  8. Kirstie Alley Drooping Face Neck Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    She reminds me of that alien in “Men in Black 2″. The one with testicles hanging from its chin.

  9. baccusvd

    She is 60 so I mean…. at least she doesn’t look like Dolly Parton or Cher…. Instead she choose the Bullmastiff look.

  10. winters

    If only Tex Avery was around to see his cartoon creation brought to life.

  11. Kirstie Alley Drooping Face Neck Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, nothing. Just that there’s someone taking photos of me at the market, and if I’m using my phone, I can push the skin on my face up without making it too obvious.”

  12. tlmck

    She should hook up with David Arquette. They could help each other figure out where it all went so horribly wrong.

  13. Kirstie Alley Drooping Face Neck Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s actually Tom Cruise in one of those Mission Impossible masks.

  14. Jonus

    Looks like she took that face relaxing injection Tom Cruise had in Minority Report.

  15. Kirstie Alley Drooping Face Neck Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    She can’t catch a freaking break…she’s like 60yrs old! Everyone ragged on her for being fat, (only about 6yrs out of 60?) Then she loses the weight and there’s something else to pick on..if she were 25 and looking/doing all this go ahead..hell, I give her credit for putting herself through it at her age!

  16. Kirstie Alley Drooping Face Neck Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    At 60 years old the only thing I’ll be doing is excepting what time has done to my body and focus on my hobbies and personality. Let alone be on a diet and dancing every week in front of millions and be followed around by stalkers or having my personal life in printing for a life time. If I were her I’d buy a place of solitude for as much as I’m worth and say fuck you America.

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