Kirsten Dunst walks among us

September 27th, 2007 // 51 Comments
0926_kirsten_dunst_00.jpg

Well this almost debunks my vampire theory. I say almost because Kirsten Dunst might have some sort of crazy sunblock that allows her to traverse among us mortals. But for what purpose? I guess she wanted us to remember how pale she is. Thanks for the reminder, Kirsten. Now please stop deflecting the sun into my eyes. I actually need them to look at women that don’t make me wonder how cruel God truly is. Ooh, a valet, I’m saved! Stab her in the heart!

superficial

  1. Second

    omg FIRST

  2. veggi

    I don’t see her. Where is she?

  3. theShizaan

    she doesn’t shave her thighs

  4. wedgeone

    So, unlike for Sarah Jessica Parker, there won’t be a bunch of ugly female commenters defending and supporting Ms. Fang. They’re both “attractive in an unconventional way” (=ugly). But Ms. Fang hasn’t played a character on TV that the celeb ass-kissing uglies fell in love with and eventually confused with the real-life identity of the actress (Sarah:Carrie, or Jennifer:Rachel). So she’ll get bashed. Morons.

  5. Buttercup

    I don’t get it; whats so bad about her? Sometimes I think she looks really pretty when she fixes herself up. There’s certainly far less attractive women in Hollywood. Milky white skin and baby blonde hair is beautiful and sexy. Skin cancer and wrinkles are not. So she’s got a little snaggly tooth going on, so what? Patricia Arquette has the same thing and she used to be gorgeous back in her prime.

  6. What is with the Kristin Dunst hatred? And, please, what is with the continuous losers who have no other accomplishment to be proud of other than being “FIRST” on a gossip board?

  7. veggi

    wedgeone, you get more lame everyday.

  8. lady-croft

    Go to hell US americans. Your all a bunch of rtards. Yous think you evolved from monkies stupid iditiots. ha ha GOD will destroy you because you our inferior.

  9. veggi

    Which is my way of saying: I want to drink your salty ropey semen.

  10. U.S. Soldier's boot

    I just stepped on #9. Carry on.

  11. PunkA

    She used to be hot. Then she grew up, turned pasty and homeless looking, andd thought she should use the British dental care system. And now she is not even geeky charming. Just clueless.

  12. Supreme ruler of your pants

    GOD DAMN THOSE FUCKING WAYFARERS. I CAN’T STAND THEM ANYMORE. HAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  13. BAM

    i hope what #9 wrote is a joke.

  14. alpal

    First!!

  15. BAM

    4, is that all you could come up with? you can hardly see any hair. it’s not like she’s got some black hairy forest going on on her thighs, that’s probably happening a little further up her legs though.

  16. @9- Have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up! Kirsten Dunst is a gargoyle.

  17. Vince Lombardi

    Why does someone of very little mammary INSIST on wearing thorax-revealing apparel, thus reminding everyone she is not much different than a boy?

  18. Knute Rockne

    “thorax-revealing apparel” – what is this, the Arachnid Fashion Channel?

  19. Judy Greer

    Can I post yet?

  20. Erka

    yuck shes gross x_X

  21. Judy Greer

    I got kicked off because the site owner is a loser who dishes it out but can’t take it.

    Kirsten Dunst wouldn’t give you asses the time of day becasue she is a decent human being.

  22. Josh Simpson

    Kirsten,

    Get your teeth fixed, quit dressing like a homeless chick, and get off the coke so you can get your boobs back. Then, and only then I might have sex with you.

  23. Man she is so nasty. If I was the last guy on Earth and her and Sarah Jessica Parker were the last two girls on Earth and we must repopulate in order for the human species to survive….there is no way I would. I’d rather do it with a rock.

    http://www.wooohah.com
    Where hip-hop goes Hollywood.

  24. lady-croft

    I suck donkey dong! I fuck goat, no have woman!

    Hey America! Want poop in my mouth? Please, do!

    I worship Satan! I eat turd! Me happy now!

  25. lulu

    HAIRY LEGS! HAIRY LEGS! She’s a warewolf!!!!!!!!!!

  26. griffmills

    last picture you can CLEARLY see her vampire fangs….
    I kinda dig it

  27. jacknasty

    Kirsten can be attractive, its just bizzare that so much of the time she chooses not to be. She was downright sexy in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and always looks good in the spider man movies. But anytime she’s out on her own she decides to dress badly, not brush her hair and wear colors that don’t flatter pale skin.

  28. BIGsteamyONE

    Why does she have to be so damn ugly ?

  29. Riotboy

    I’d hit it.

    /obligatory

  30. Sabalon

    I must be one of the minority that thinks she’s hot. Maybe because her sunglasses only cover 1/4 of her face instead of the stupid Paris hilton Shades everyone wears.

  31. MrsP

    #9 lady-croft – Do they teach stupid in the country you live in? Go back into your dirt floor hovel now and stop looking at the computer.

  32. I’d rather be pasty than have skin like beef-jerky.
    *cough Jenna Jameson cough*

  33. BunnyButt

    Hey, by avoiding sun exposure, Kirsten’s skin will stay nice for decades. Take a look at those close-ups of Pamela Anderson. She’s got a ton of wrinkles for someone her age, and her skin looks rough. That doesn’t happen if you take care of it. Kirsten, like everyone who doesn’t die young, will be older a lot longer than she will be young, and in 30 years people will be raving about how great her skin still is. She also won’t have to worry as much about age spots, funky growths, skin cancer, etc.

  34. GINA

    Totally agree with BunnyBUTT.
    Kirsten always keep her own style and personality,thats not bad.
    Im so tired to see everygirl in HOLLYWOOD looks same.

  35. Damn British Book of Bad Teeth

    it’s not so bad, but she needs a bath, ya know? Just a good old scrubbin with soap and water.

  36. zsa

    She looks decent here. I love her in movies, but she usually makes no effort in public…not too bad here though.

  37. Jim Belushi

    She is so beautiful. Except for her face. Or her body. Or her pasty white skin. Or her horrible personality. Or her teeth…merciful Jesus, her teeth.

  38. steve-o

    she nasty. “Nuff said.

  39. At least she can act. I’d rather see her than Paris any day of the week.
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  40. Hollywood Consultant

    She needs implants – big ones, make sure the skin gets stretched tighter than a snare drum – and an orange spray-on tan. Fix the teeth, make ‘em big and really white. Glasses need to be bigger and round. Bag needs to be 10 times bigger. Add some leggings. And boots. And she should be talking on her cell phone.

  41. princess

    It is possible for a Vampire to go out in the sun. Vampires are naturally nocturnal and have a great aversion to sunlight, but it cannot kill them. The popular understanding that Vampires cannot withstand the sun stems from the 1922 German silent film Nosferatu, Eine Symphonie des Grauens, which is an unauthorized adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, where the Vampire portrayed was a completely nocturnal creature and was killed by a curtain being drawn back and the breaking sun cast directly onto him. This contemporary tale of Vampire caught on and became greatly accepted as common Vampire lore but does not hold true to most other much older Vampire folklore.

    all in all, this fugly bitch could be a vampire, just one that is playing off the idea that most people will think she isn’t because she is out in the sun.
    http://festival.aneres.free.fr/Aneres1999/Nosferatu.jpg
    Looks like her to me…

  42. HankTheDwarf

    WORD IS THAT DUNST IS A BIG HITLER FAN. AINT THAT SOMETHIN.

  43. Me

    someone needs to inform that poor dumb thing that those sunglasses went out of style about 20 years ago. while they’re at it, they need to inform her that there are dentists out there these days who CAN fix those hideous teeth of hers. Unfortunately, there’s nothing that can be done about the rest of her except maybe, well, no, no, there’s nothing

  44. juls

    she has odd fingers.

  45. Judy's a loser, too

    But she’s still 10 times better looking than you, 44.

  46. Rebeka

    that’s not even funny. what the hell is wrong with pale skin? if u had made stupid remarks like this about someone with dark skin, like Alek Wek, you’d have tons of people down ur throat, you’d be called a racist. but making fun of someone with pake skin is ok? ignorant pig!

  47. jasper von sillyputty

    Dunst gets my vote as one of two actresses whose head is so enormous that it seems she got faced with a frying pan. (Cristina Ricci being bachelorette #2) While Ricci resurfaces occassionally proving she has learned to work with her odd, pixie-ish head, Dunst continues to paddle with one oar.

    As for her fashion sense, some people can freestyle, other people are Kirstin Dunst.

  48. jasper von sillyputty

    By he by. it seems like the primary joy of a site called The Superficials is to smear with wit and impuntiy, not to take offense easily and cry glamorous tears for maligned celebritites.

    Lighten up Dunster divers!

  49. jasper again

    …other wise, go hang out at deeply_pleasant_and_sincere_feelings_of_goodwill_for_the_famous.com

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