Kirsten Dunst attempts to fill void left by Tara Reid

The Superficial / December 21, 2008

With Tara Reid in rehab, someone has to become Hollywood’s once-aspiring actress who can’t keep her face out of the drink. Enter Kirsten Dunst. Here she is drunkenly leaving Bardot last night with her male companion The Cosby Sweater Bandit. Seeing Kirsten like this has made me exponentially more interested in the upcoming production of Spider-man 4.

Spider-Man 4: Scene 26 Take 1

TOBEY: I’m here to rescue you, MJ!
KIRSTEN: MJ? Shit, you holdin’?
SAM RAIMI: CUT!

Spider-Man 4: Scene 26 Take 3

TOBEY: I’m here to res – JESUS!
KIRSTEN: What? No full-frontal? I’ll be in my trailer.
TOBEY: That’s a Port-a-John
KIRSTEN: Jealous?

Spider-Man 4: Scene 26 Take 5

TOBEY: I’m here to rescue you, MJ!
KIRSTEN: *pees on Dr. Octupus*

Spider-Man 4: Scene 26 Take 8

TOBEY: I’m here to rescue you, MJ!
KIRSTEN: Remember during the first movie when we dated? Well, I never told you this, but you got me pregnant. I kept the child, and she’s secretly lived with me to this day. Crying herself to sleep every night asking “Where’s daddy?”
TOBEY: Oh my God…
KIRSTEN: Ha! PSYCHE! I had an abortion.