With Tara Reid in rehab, someone has to become Hollywood’s once-aspiring actress who can’t keep her face out of the drink. Enter Kirsten Dunst. Here she is drunkenly leaving Bardot last night with her male companion The Cosby Sweater Bandit. Seeing Kirsten like this has made me exponentially more interested in the upcoming production of Spider-man 4.
Spider-Man 4: Scene 26 Take 1
TOBEY: I’m here to rescue you, MJ!
KIRSTEN: MJ? Shit, you holdin’?
SAM RAIMI: CUT!
Spider-Man 4: Scene 26 Take 3
TOBEY: I’m here to res – JESUS!
KIRSTEN: What? No full-frontal? I’ll be in my trailer.
TOBEY: That’s a Port-a-John
KIRSTEN: Jealous?
Spider-Man 4: Scene 26 Take 5
TOBEY: I’m here to rescue you, MJ!
KIRSTEN: *pees on Dr. Octupus*
Spider-Man 4: Scene 26 Take 8
TOBEY: I’m here to rescue you, MJ!
KIRSTEN: Remember during the first movie when we dated? Well, I never told you this, but you got me pregnant. I kept the child, and she’s secretly lived with me to this day. Crying herself to sleep every night asking “Where’s daddy?”
TOBEY: Oh my God…
KIRSTEN: Ha! PSYCHE! I had an abortion.
poop | December 21, 2008 at 4:13 pm
ahh first
rachelraquel | December 21, 2008 at 4:13 pm
She’s so cute.
dork | December 21, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I love drunk blondes. In fact, I think I may have one tonight…
voyeur | December 21, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Whew, you scared me… I saw the title and I thought that maybe Kirsten got a bad boob job and flashed someone accidentally. She’s got such nice, natural breasts!
amanda | December 21, 2008 at 4:22 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHA “the cosby sweater bandit” HAHAHAHAHAHA
WHAT “nice, natural breasts”? shes almost flat chested, and what little is there is quite saggy. on the upside at least she didnt pay for it
mimi | December 21, 2008 at 4:23 pm
I love Dunst! More about her. And Amy!
Pray!!!
molly | December 21, 2008 at 4:26 pm
the cosby sweater bandit is jason boesel, the drummer for rilo kiley!
mimi | December 21, 2008 at 4:29 pm
#3, inflatable girlfriends get drunk? you’re confusing me, since we already know about your sexual futility. You think you might have landed your first real person? wow!
Blancmange is really nasty | December 21, 2008 at 4:30 pm
“Kirsten Dunst” and “actress” … these are words that should never, ever, EVER be used again in the same sentence. Especially when talking about Dunst, who’s about one pancake away from carbo-rehab.
mimi | December 21, 2008 at 4:31 pm
I pray that you wake up with a blonde gay dude.
humpin frog | December 21, 2008 at 5:02 pm
The third picture says, “I’m so busted”. I guess they don’t teach hubris/don’t get drunk in public, in rehab. Oh! that’s right, she had emotional issues (bong water and vodka don’t mix).
adam | December 21, 2008 at 5:07 pm
wow, superficial writer pulled out all the stops on this one
pure, unadulterated hilarity
dsfa;kjadl;fkjds;aljkfsfdjal;ksdjfl; | December 21, 2008 at 5:22 pm
them two are so beautiful. hahaha.
Fernanado Narcos | December 21, 2008 at 5:51 pm
I usually like pasty skinned chicks,but something about Kirsten tells me she might actually be,well,pasty….
necessaryROUGHness | December 21, 2008 at 6:03 pm
yeah with zero muscle tone Tara Reid might possess a better body…
Adolfo | December 21, 2008 at 6:16 pm
It’s fun to fuck pasty white chicks
Denis | December 21, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Relativity is a great thing. That sweater turns my FAIL into mild-to-moderate WIN.
stephanie reed | December 21, 2008 at 9:01 pm
First of all there is no comparison between Kristen and Tara. Tara can’t act and Kirsten can! maybe she is just going through a rough time as we all do at some point famous on not! And she is not pasty maybe she doesn’t want to lay in a tanning bed all day like every other celebrity. She is a great actress and trust me you have not seen the last of her!
stephanie reed | December 21, 2008 at 9:01 pm
First of all there is no comparison between Kristen and Tara. Tara can’t act and Kirsten can! maybe she is just going through a rough time as we all do at some point famous on not! And she is not pasty maybe she doesn’t want to lay in a tanning bed all day like every other celebrity. She is a great actress and trust me you have not seen the last of her!
lindary | December 21, 2008 at 9:02 pm
She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?
GG1000 | December 21, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Man, that Cirque Lodge really blows as a rehab facility. Dunst, Richie Sambora, Lindsay Lohan, the Hoff – it just ain’t workin’ people, you gotta shake that program up a little!
Slap Happy | December 21, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Hahaha, pray for mimi! #6 & 8
Someone hit a nerve. My bet is that mimi is blonde, and drunk tonight.
Priceless.
I was going to say something about Kirsten, but that is funnier!! You go girl!
Hey, did you hear the one about the blonde and the . . .
Cartman | December 21, 2008 at 11:07 pm
If I didn’t already have a fine pasty white girlfriend I’d like to bang old Kiki… she just needs some porno-style love from a boyfriend that knows how to humiliate her.
:)
gerard Vandenberg | December 21, 2008 at 11:47 pm
……………………………………….AMERICAN, folks?
F-Obama | December 22, 2008 at 12:08 am
Cosby sweater bandit, HAHAHA
haha | December 22, 2008 at 1:26 am
i really liked your scene hypotheticals. they were really funny.
Delgo | December 22, 2008 at 2:26 am
Nice, Fish.
gretchen | December 22, 2008 at 3:37 am
meh, she looks cute and like she’s had a good night
friendlyfires | December 22, 2008 at 9:00 am
I like a good drunken snaggletooth over the hill actress. Jumanji, anybody?
jennifer | December 22, 2008 at 9:03 am
I can’t figure out how she ever made it in the biz to begin with. Love the Cosby sweater bandit comment, tho!
Sprmcandy | December 22, 2008 at 9:18 am
Pretty girl, I’ll take her. Drunk or not.
Chauncey Gardner | December 22, 2008 at 9:23 am
I always wondered what a Jawa’s face would look like.
RichPort's Ghost | December 22, 2008 at 9:28 am
The best thing about Kristin Dunst is that she doubles as a can opener when camping.
And Meems (#8) is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull. Seriously, food just flies right at her. She preys for a meatballs sub as we speak.
deka | December 22, 2008 at 10:58 am
i dont understand what happened to her
she was so cute in bring in it on and drop dead gorgeous
where are her handlers??
http://www.thatshideous.com
Thumperchica | December 22, 2008 at 12:04 pm
So let’s get this straight…
A single attractive blonde woman gets drunk while out with friends… how the f@ck is this news?
Thumperchica | December 22, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Side Note – Fish, you are hilarious!
1guy1cup.net | December 22, 2008 at 12:31 pm
dude.. you kill me… roffflllll
Me 2 | December 22, 2008 at 5:38 pm
This is exponentially sadder than Tara Reid’s demise. Kirsten Dunst was talented once and she was the cutest damned miniature vampire ever.
really? | December 23, 2008 at 11:05 am
i don’t see how she’s drunk. laughing and covering her face…. REALLY?
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usb flash drive | April 29, 2010 at 9:00 am
I saw the title and I thought that maybe Kirsten got a bad boob job and flashed someone accidentally. She’s got such nice, natural breasts!
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