Kirsten Dunst attempts to fill void left by Tara Reid

December 21st, 2008 // 47 Comments

With Tara Reid in rehab, someone has to become Hollywood’s once-aspiring actress who can’t keep her face out of the drink. Enter Kirsten Dunst. Here she is drunkenly leaving Bardot last night with her male companion The Cosby Sweater Bandit. Seeing Kirsten like this has made me exponentially more interested in the upcoming production of Spider-man 4.

Spider-Man 4: Scene 26 Take 1

TOBEY: I’m here to rescue you, MJ!
KIRSTEN: MJ? Shit, you holdin’?
SAM RAIMI: CUT!

Spider-Man 4: Scene 26 Take 3

TOBEY: I’m here to res – JESUS!
KIRSTEN: What? No full-frontal? I’ll be in my trailer.
TOBEY: That’s a Port-a-John
KIRSTEN: Jealous?

Spider-Man 4: Scene 26 Take 5

TOBEY: I’m here to rescue you, MJ!
KIRSTEN: *pees on Dr. Octupus*

Spider-Man 4: Scene 26 Take 8

TOBEY: I’m here to rescue you, MJ!
KIRSTEN: Remember during the first movie when we dated? Well, I never told you this, but you got me pregnant. I kept the child, and she’s secretly lived with me to this day. Crying herself to sleep every night asking “Where’s daddy?”
TOBEY: Oh my God…
KIRSTEN: Ha! PSYCHE! I had an abortion.

superficial

  1. rachelraquel

    She’s so cute.

  2. dork

    I love drunk blondes. In fact, I think I may have one tonight…

  3. voyeur

    Whew, you scared me… I saw the title and I thought that maybe Kirsten got a bad boob job and flashed someone accidentally. She’s got such nice, natural breasts!

  4. amanda

    HAHAHAHAHAHA “the cosby sweater bandit” HAHAHAHAHAHA

    WHAT “nice, natural breasts”? shes almost flat chested, and what little is there is quite saggy. on the upside at least she didnt pay for it

  5. mimi

    I love Dunst! More about her. And Amy!

    Pray!!!

  6. molly

    the cosby sweater bandit is jason boesel, the drummer for rilo kiley!

  7. mimi

    #3, inflatable girlfriends get drunk? you’re confusing me, since we already know about your sexual futility. You think you might have landed your first real person? wow!

  8. Blancmange is really nasty

    “Kirsten Dunst” and “actress” … these are words that should never, ever, EVER be used again in the same sentence. Especially when talking about Dunst, who’s about one pancake away from carbo-rehab.

  9. mimi

    I pray that you wake up with a blonde gay dude.

  10. humpin frog

    The third picture says, “I’m so busted”. I guess they don’t teach hubris/don’t get drunk in public, in rehab. Oh! that’s right, she had emotional issues (bong water and vodka don’t mix).

  11. adam

    wow, superficial writer pulled out all the stops on this one

    pure, unadulterated hilarity

  12. dsfa;kjadl;fkjds;aljkfsfdjal;ksdjfl;

    them two are so beautiful. hahaha.

  13. Fernanado Narcos

    I usually like pasty skinned chicks,but something about Kirsten tells me she might actually be,well,pasty….

  14. yeah with zero muscle tone Tara Reid might possess a better body…

  15. Adolfo

    It’s fun to fuck pasty white chicks

  16. Relativity is a great thing. That sweater turns my FAIL into mild-to-moderate WIN.

  17. stephanie reed

    First of all there is no comparison between Kristen and Tara. Tara can’t act and Kirsten can! maybe she is just going through a rough time as we all do at some point famous on not! And she is not pasty maybe she doesn’t want to lay in a tanning bed all day like every other celebrity. She is a great actress and trust me you have not seen the last of her!

  18. stephanie reed

    First of all there is no comparison between Kristen and Tara. Tara can’t act and Kirsten can! maybe she is just going through a rough time as we all do at some point famous on not! And she is not pasty maybe she doesn’t want to lay in a tanning bed all day like every other celebrity. She is a great actress and trust me you have not seen the last of her!

  19. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  20. GG1000

    Man, that Cirque Lodge really blows as a rehab facility. Dunst, Richie Sambora, Lindsay Lohan, the Hoff – it just ain’t workin’ people, you gotta shake that program up a little!

  21. Slap Happy

    Hahaha, pray for mimi! #6 & 8

    Someone hit a nerve. My bet is that mimi is blonde, and drunk tonight.

    Priceless.

    I was going to say something about Kirsten, but that is funnier!! You go girl!

    Hey, did you hear the one about the blonde and the . . .

  22. Cartman

    If I didn’t already have a fine pasty white girlfriend I’d like to bang old Kiki… she just needs some porno-style love from a boyfriend that knows how to humiliate her.

    :)

  23. ……………………………………….AMERICAN, folks?

  24. F-Obama

    Cosby sweater bandit, HAHAHA

  25. haha

    i really liked your scene hypotheticals. they were really funny.

  26. Delgo

    Nice, Fish.

  27. gretchen

    meh, she looks cute and like she’s had a good night

  28. friendlyfires

    I like a good drunken snaggletooth over the hill actress. Jumanji, anybody?

  29. I can’t figure out how she ever made it in the biz to begin with. Love the Cosby sweater bandit comment, tho!

  30. Sprmcandy

    Pretty girl, I’ll take her. Drunk or not.

  31. Chauncey Gardner

    I always wondered what a Jawa’s face would look like.

  32. The best thing about Kristin Dunst is that she doubles as a can opener when camping.

    And Meems (#8) is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull. Seriously, food just flies right at her. She preys for a meatballs sub as we speak.

  33. i dont understand what happened to her
    she was so cute in bring in it on and drop dead gorgeous
    where are her handlers??
    http://www.thatshideous.com

  34. So let’s get this straight…
    A single attractive blonde woman gets drunk while out with friends… how the f@ck is this news?

  35. Side Note – Fish, you are hilarious!

  36. dude.. you kill me… roffflllll

  37. Me 2

    This is exponentially sadder than Tara Reid’s demise. Kirsten Dunst was talented once and she was the cutest damned miniature vampire ever.

  38. really?

    i don’t see how she’s drunk. laughing and covering her face…. REALLY?

  39. Here have a variety of advanced technology to produce electronic products,Most wholesale electronics today use semiconductor apparatus to accomplish electron control. The abstraction of semiconductor on wholesale electronics and accompanying technology is advised a annex of physics, admitting the architecture and architecture of cyberbanking circuits to break applied problems appear beneath go to wholesale electronicsengineering. This commodity focuses on engineering aspects of electronics.
    wholesale electronics go! is a able manufacturer, specializes in development, manufacture. We accept broad Cheap Consumer Electronics, China Broad Electronics: Like Cheap Unlocked Cell Phones, Hiphone, MP3 Players, MP4 Players, MP5 Players, Computer Accessories, Car Electronics, Bluetooth Products, USB Flash Drive, Memory Cards, Health & Beauty, iPod & iPhone Accessories, Digital Photo Frames,Car Audios, Car DVD Players, Digital Cameras, Digital Camcorders, Video Game Accessories, Spy Cameras, Security Products and Electronic Gadgets from China.
    We accept over 2500 accomplished and accomplished advisers and our accessories of 7,300 aboveboard meters are able with avant-garde productions and testing machines. We accept the absolute superior ascendancy arrangement and strive to accommodated and beat our customer’s expectations,wholesale electronics.
    Do you find mbt lami shoes for a long time. Here is the richest in the world and you can find your needs bring you harvest. yes,
    mbt lami shoesPurple Shoes is the first physiological footwear that has a positive effect on the whole body.
    buy mbt lami shoes‘s sole is curved, not flat. Anti-shoe is unstable, not stable. Swissmasai activates your muscles instead of undermining them. The
    buy mbt lamiBirch Shoes Chapa feature feature rich nubuck leather with single-layer mesh upper bodies for strong but breathable wear,
    mbt lami.

  40. Nice post about running tips. i was looking for such post .thanks for the posting.

  41. Thank you, I love your blog

  42. Thank you, I love your blog

  43. Thank you, I love your blog

  44. I saw the title and I thought that maybe Kirsten got a bad boob job and flashed someone accidentally. She’s got such nice, natural breasts!

  45. wholesale designer clothes

    There are many excellent quality designer clothes online

Leave A Comment