Kirsten Dunst is in rehab

February 6th, 2008 // 80 Comments

Kirsten Dunst checked herself into the Cirque Lodge rehabilitation facility in Utah, according to Star Magazine:

“She desperately needed help,” a source in Utah tells Star. “She seemed to be intoxicated when she checked in because she was acting really erratic. She was extremely emotional, constantly breaking down in tears.”

How do you show up drunk to a rehab center in the middle of Utah? Unless someone drove her and she spent the whole trip downing booze like a convict on death row. In which case, I only have one thing to say to that: Kirsten Dunst, will you marry me? Obviously not in a church. I know how holy water burns your vampire skin. See, baby, I notice the little things.

Photos: Getty Images

  1. willem biederman

    But she’s so pure and beautiful.

    How could this happen?

  2. Anal Fistula

    isn’t that where Eva Mendez is too? maybe Dunst is in rehab for lesbionic reasons….

  3. Chauncey Gardner

    Do they have a resident dental professional at the Cirque Lodge?

  4. oh

    oh good on her

  5. Sapphire Eyes

    Another day, another “celeb” in rehab.

    Soon all of Hollywood will end up at Promises or the Cirque Lodge (they both sound like day spas!)

  6. woodhorse

    I love those gloves. Anyone know where I can get some?

  7. BigJim

    She saw how bad she was in Spidey 3 and went on a bender. Now it’s time to get clean.

    It’s a total career move. Rehab has done such wonder for Britney and Lindsay.

  8. FCS

    They have rehab for ugly now?

  9. Auntie Kryst

    It’s been awhile since her last movie right? Time to get that face out there again I guess. I’d call her another quitter, but none of these celebutards really have a problem other than being publicity whores. Give me the old days of movies when it was cool to be a drunk – a real drunk. Damn, I wish Oliver Reed was still alive.

  10. D. Richards (Hands.)

    How dare Kirsten! How dare her! Trying to upstage Britney.

    Look, Dunce-st, it’ll never happen, okay. Nobody cares about you. Not like they do about Britney Spears; you’re just grade-C meat. You lost all of your charisma the second you hit puberty.

    Yeah, that’s right! Yeah. Run away to Spiderman you stupid twat. And don’t come back! Ugly!

  11. noneyobeezwax

    you just ain’t cool unless you’re rehab. weak ass celebs can’t handle their drugs. i’m looking at you ledger.

  12. Ted from LA

    Judging from the photo, the rehab joint must be in the shade.

  13. Steve

    Good God are writers ever NOT funny.

  14. Martin

    noneyobeezwax….you might be the biggest douche of the year for saying that.

  15. Forget about rehab, who the fuck cut off her fingers???

  16. PrettyBaby

    #12 Dammit, you stole my pale joke. ;-)

    #3 and dammit you stole my teef joke.

    My work here is complete.

  17. zoomgirl

    I’m with you #14

  18. tylerdurden

    Dude, the fuck? Either the Superfish writer is Irish and also writes for or they’ve totally just stole his shit.

    Sue those bitches!

  19. gotmilk?

    is rehab the new cool thing to do for celebrities? first it was those tiny dogs, then it was having babies, now this? half these people are probably faking whatever the fuck it is that ails them.

  20. All we can hope is that it sticks. If they go in for the right reason they have a better chance at making a life change if not who knows

  21. aeuwave

    sounds to me like kirsten wanted a little media attention.

  22. D. Richards (Saint.)

    Cirque Lodge?

    Isn’t that where Cirque Du Soleil sends their performers to learn how to be the best darn circus freaks this side of the Atlantic ocean?

    What would Kirsten be? Bearded woman? No, she has no body hair. Half-man Half-woman? No, Kirsten’s too hideous to be considered either. Animal trainer? No, but close: Animal fluffer. Look out!

  23. oh

    She looks very beautiful and gorgeous! I saw her profile on millionaire and celebrity dating site Charlie Sheen found his match there.

  24. oh

    She looks very beautiful and gorgeous! I saw her profile on millionaire and celebrity dating site Charlie Sheen found his match there.

  25. oh

    She looks very beautiful and gorgeous! I saw her profile on millionaire and celebrity dating site Charlie Sheen found his match there.

  26. Have you seen her Teeth

    Have you ever seen how ugly her teeth are. She has long canine teeth or they could be vampire teeth, I’m not really sure. On second thought, she must be a vampire because she is a whiter shade of pale that is subhuman, and she looks like death warmed over all the time.

    This girl must really be working for the devil.

  27. Charlie Sheen

    I’m sick and tired of the assholes like #24 saying I have a profile on their site. It’s a scam. My “match” is any hooker that charges under $2000 for an overnight stay. Preferably a six foot blond with big tits that I can snort coke off of. I have nothing to do with those scammers and I do not endorse their product.

  28. What about Tara???

  29. TS

    What the FUCK is wrong with these people? What a bunch of fucking retards. Zero willpower. Mental midgets.

  30. Oh right, Tara’s not an alcoholic..

  31. Snarky McComments

    Yawn! Dunst is boring, boring, boring. Let’s have more stories that give an excuse to show pictures of Christina Aguileras massive baby knockers.

  32. Snarky McComments

    Yawn! Dunst is boring, boring, boring. Let’s have more stories that give an excuse to show pictures of Christina Aguileras massive baby knockers.

  33. noneyobeezwax

    #14 – so you think i’m a douche because i said something insensitive towards an actor you liked? well, i think he’s a douche because he thought it a good idea to take 6 different medications, which resulted in his death and ultimately left his infant daughter without a father. perhaps if he had gone to rehab, he wouldn’t be a corpse.

    now that i think about it, you’re the douche for supporting some two bit drug addicted hack that thought of only himself and left his child fatherless.

    you really are a scumbag.

  34. yawn

    this happens to normal people too :/

  35. The Laughing God

    What happened to movie stars who just kept drinking and died of liver failure? You know, the golden age of the Hollywood?

  36. yukadoozer

    Finally. An Excuse for Her Royal Hideousness.

  37. Harry

    So I guess it is true that she was hammered all through the shooting of “Elizabethtown”.

  38. It's so sad...well not really

    The chicks go to rehab, and live. The dudes refuse help and die. Not an absolute rule by any means, but it holds most of the time.

  39. kirsten dunst

    i’m not 100%, but i’m pretty sure that its probably not a drinking problem that kirsten has. i’m thinking its an illegal drug…i don’t see her as a drunk.

  40. kirsten dunst

    ps. get better kiki, i love you.

  41. Salesman Terry

    Kirsten, I know you’ll overcome this problem and go on to even greater success. You’re a beautiful, talented woman. Sending you a virtual backrub in support of your recovery!

  42. Mussolini B Wicke

    Aww, I want to got to rehab, too.

  43. Gerald_Tarrant

    Why God, why didn’t Heath get the help he needed. *sob*sob*sob*

    We lost the greatest actor of our time. Hollywood should close their doors because there will never be an actor that is as great as Heath Ledger. I will never watch another movie again.

    I can’t believe the Iraqi terrorists aren’t stopping the violence over the tragic and completely accidental death of the world’s most talented actor. Osama bin Laden lists Heath as his favorite actor on

    When celebs want publicity, they either go to rehab or release video of them talking about how they saved firefighters at ground zero on 9/11.

  44. Dick Richards

    Isn’t #41 just such a sensitive scumbag?

    You know. Ted Bundy enjoyed giving backrubs. Well, he enjoyed giving backrubs before he was overcome with the insatiable urge to beat and strangle the woman he was massaging, to death.

  45. BAH! what an idiot. that last thing i would do if i was hammered is check myself into rehab. i’d throw a family size bag of tater tots in the oven and start handing out tequila shots. what’s wrong with these self-righteous celebrities. enjoy your drink already!

  46. D. Richards (Meaningless.)

    #43! You are wrong, dead wrong!

    Heath is (was – Hee-Hee) this generations most talented star. He was not a mediocre why-was-he-an-actor-again, actor. No way! Heath’s the new Robert De Niro.

    Well, the new Bob De Niro, but with an accidental overdose which culminated in a pathetic death.

  47. Barry

    Looks like, rehab is the new black.

  48. Ted from LA

    Does anyone else have an urge to eat a piece of white wedding cake with white frosting and wash it down with a glass of white milk whenever you see this woman? Or is it just me?

  49. #45 I’m on it!!

  50. Thomas

    That’s it! I’m going to rehab so I can recover too. Of course, when I mean “rehab” I mean “McDonald’s” and when I say “recover” I mean “masturbate to pictures of Early the Bird.”

    It’s the goggles…

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