Kirsten Dunst gets robbed

August 24th, 2007 // 98 Comments
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Two burglars reportedly sneaked into Kirsten Dunst’s suite at the Soho Grand Hotel after she left to go film a scene for her new movie and stole her $13,000 handbag, wallets, cash, cameras, and an iPod. And how did these master thieves manage to pull off the crime of the century? They walked in through an open door. The Post reports:

Beinerman took a guest elevator to the floor below Dunst’s suite and then took a freight elevator up to the penthouse level.

There, Beinerman allegedly walked through an open door into the penthouse and stole items belonging to Dunst and her companions, including $2,500, a Marc Jacobs purse, wallets containing IDs and credit cards, several bags – including one by Balenciaga – two digital cameras, a cellphone and an iPod, records state.

It takes balls to rob Kirsten Dunst. Big tough manly balls. Most people would be afraid that she lives under a bridge and eats first born children. But not these two. And what if they timed it wrong and she was still in the room? This would’ve been an entirely different story, about two men who jumped to their deaths after gouging out their own eyes and screaming that they’d lost the use of their genitals.

NOTE: If you’re wondering why Simon Pegg is with Kirsten Dunst, no it’s not some sort of troll outreach program for English people. They’re filming How to Lose Friends and Alienate People together.

superficial

  1. Did they take her boobs too?

  2. Annie Fizzbang

    No, but they did take her bra. Unless she’s hiding guinea pigs under there.

  3. whatever

    They forgot to mention that he stole her career too..

  4. Tom

    Hey guys, this is a entertaining site.

    I am wondering why there aren’t more pictures and stories of me and my gorgeous wife who i LOVE.

    Katie I LOVE you, my WOMAN.

    This is Tom Cruise by the way. YES!!!

    Have a good day friends.

  5. Guinea pig would be ab improvement to those things under her shirt

  6. Joe Melnick

    What the hell is Simon Pegg doing within 100 ft of this troll?

  7. @6 Hey Tom – is it true you take it up the ass and Katie uses a strap-on on you?

  8. stephiphany

    I really hope she just bumped into Simon Pegg on the street and they’re not friends or anything. I like that guy and I don’t want her tainting him with her filthiness.

  9. Wonky

    I’m all for doing whatever the hell one wants with their money, but a $13,000 handbag? What the F?

  10. bob

    well, that’s what happens when you are a complete idiot & don’t bother to even close your hotel door.

    and who buys a fucking purse for 13 grand. you should have that stolen, just for being a tool & spending that on an accessory.

  11. Tom

    Hey Kristen! Kristen right?

    I remember you from when the ol’ vampire movie.

    When did you grow up to be so ugorgeous!!!

    you never told me how it was observing my skills and wisdom on set.

  12. Simon Pegg’s costarring with Dunst in How to Lose Friends & Alienate People.

  13. Tom

    bite me that is a very creative. hah hah haa ha ha ha

    Have you heard about scientology?

  14. She’s doing her Jack Black face again

  15. Chauncey Gardner

    Thanks to everyone for explaining why Dunst was photographed with Simon Pegg. For a minute there, I thought Pegg was hanging out with an extra from SHAUN OF THE DEAD 2.

  16. Tom

    She has nice legs.

    Don’t you think?

    Not like Katies though.

    No.

    Katie’s has the most gorgeous, long legs you’d ever see.

  17. veggo

    I piss money away too. I’m drinking a $13,000 bottle of water right now

  18. #1hater

    at least she still has her talent and good looks….they can’t take that away from her…..

  19. Tom

    Friends I must go now.
    Nice chatting.

    Remember Scientology is the answer. Please learn more about it. We plan to take over save the world.

  20. racheee

    Too bad they didn’t take her sunglasses. $2,500 purse, $1.89 sunglasses from Kum & Go. In 1987.

  21. Donkey

    This looks like a job for SPIDERMAN!!

  22. I thought #14 was a joke.

  23. Kimz

    They are still hiring her to do movies?

    Superfish are you the old superfish.

    Superfish, I don’t like you playing with my head.

    I just don’t know if it’s really you any more.

  24. Jeans

    It is just sad. She is such a pretty girl gone REALLY bad. Bad hair, no makeup, aweful clothes, and NO bra. What happened to the time she was considered attractive!!!!

  25. Malffy Hernandes

    Idiot, never stay at a hotel in Soho! I lived there for 3 years and YOU NEVER, EVER just leave shit like doors or purses open! Serves her right.

  26. 23 – lol. Nonsense! She’s joining Jake and Elwood Blues on their “Mission from God.”

  27. * * Survey * *

    If you where in a chinese prison and sentenced to die, but had to make a choice and fuck one of the following girls, which one would you pick?:

    *Dunst
    *Lohan
    *Spears
    *Hilton
    *Ritchie

  28. Tom Gun

    If I was going to die anyway I guess I would pick. “HILTON”.

  29. Texas Tranny

    All of the above.

  30. yeslek

    I think this is the same exact outfit (if you really want to call it that) that she was wearing the last time she was on this site. Kirsten – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right???

  31. Pimp

    Ritchie.
    I’d bounce her little mulatto ass on my hogleg.

  32. Kimz

    @33

    Yeah I think that’s all she wears lately.

    I heard grey shirts are right in fashion, you can wear one to no end. And you will always look amazing.

  33. Donkey

    I would do Lohan. She has the best tits of that bunch.

  34. Hydro74

    NEVER pick Paris Hilton. If it was “Paris” or “Syphillitic Whore,” take the whore. Less STDs, more attempts at making noise in bed.

    Gotta go with Lohan. Best body of the bunch, prettiest face and the one I would feel best about slapping around before, during and after.

    Plus she would gladly snort rails off my engorged member. And that’s worth the price of admission anytime.

  35. Morning Wood

    I guess Spiderman was to busy playing poker to catch up with this one…

  36. JrsyGrl

    Love Simon Pegg.

  37. JrsyGrl

    Hey, #33, ever think that thesuperficial.com is using the same pictures or pictures from the same day for two different stories?

  38. veggo

    30- I”m a girl and I don’t want to play this game and I don’t understand why I’m in a Chinese prison…….

    But for you guys, whatever choice, don’t you think your dick would come out looking like you just got in a spoon fight……but the other guy used a fork?

  39. Mike

    I would pick Brit (Spears).
    While she’s blowing me I could rub that bald head of hers for good luck.

  40. 4 Hours to live

    Guys, if you were going to die because the world is going to blow up in 4 hours.

    And you only had a choice of ONE of following to fuck… Who would you pick?

    1. Jolie
    2. Theron
    3. Bilson
    4. Bundchen
    5. Biel

  41. @30 Lohan cuz in the end it would all BLOW over

  42. lambman

    Simon Pegg is doing “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People” AESOME NEWS!

    #3 – LOL good one

  43. Mike

    Biel. No doubt.
    But, just for the record are we talking Bundcheon pre-pregnancy or post?

  44. @42

    @42
    Now that vision of Brit’s bald head bobbing up and down and her looking straight at me from that position is burned into my mind.
    That’s a scary thought.

  45. boogmeister

    Biel for SURE!!! That bitch is as hot as they get!!

  46. Mogwhy

    Ritchie.

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