Kirsten Dunst

Kirsten Dunst claims her and Jake Gyllenhaal broke up because “he’s a stay-at-home boy [and she’s] an out-on-the-town girl.” We prefer to believe they broke up because she’s a disgustingly ugly human being. She looks like a boy gone terribly wrong and her teeth are like tiny little pebbles. And when she tries to look sexy? Well, that’s about the time we start vomiting all over the place.

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