Why Is Kirsten Dunst Touching Her Belly Like Tha— OH MY GOD THERE’S SOMETHING INSIDE HER!

Word on the street is that Kirsten Dunst let that funny-looking guy from Breaking Bad put a baby inside of her. While these pictures could very well be Kirsten realizing that chimichanga she had for lunch wasn’t sitting well, this new information makes it evident that she’s actually touching the living creature that’s forming inside her uterus. It was announced earlier this week that Dunst and Jesse Plemons are getting married in Austin next spring, so now I guess we know why.

Will the baby possess Dunst’s charming, girl-next-door looks? Or will it come out looking like the actor that’s in a ton of stuff that everyone thinks is Matt Damon at first, then realizes it’s not? That’s really the only open question that I have going forward. Also, Kirsten’s dumper looks really dumpy in these photos and I wanted to post them because I’m an asshole.

I’ve never really been one to get excited about baby news. I still think that Kylie Jenner is faking hers for publicity. Still, I guess it’s exciting for them and… I hope the baby has all it’s fingers and toes? As you can tell, I don’t get invited to many baby showers…

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