People Are Seriously Surprised Kirk Cameron Is A Giant Homophobe?

“Is that guy wearing a pink shirt? I shouldn’t have come here…”

Kirk Cameron believes the fact that a banana has ridges is an “atheist’s nightmare,” so really no one should’ve been surprised at all when he went on Piers Morgan Friday night and not only called homosexuality “unnatural,” but also made it clear that if his kids are gay he’ll beat the queer out of them with a Bible. (And if you’re wondering why not beat them with the God banana? Too dick-like.) Via HuffPost Celebrity:

the “Growing Pains” heartthrob who transitioned from a “teen-idol-atheist in Hollywood and became a devoted follower of Jesus Christ in the middle of [his] career” explained that he believes homosexuality is “unnatural… I think that it’s detrimental, and ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization.”
On the issue of marriage equality Cameron remarked, “Marriage was defined by God a long time ago. Marriage is almost as old as dirt, and it was defined in the garden between Adam and Eve — one man, one woman for life till death do you part. So I would never attempt to try to redefine marriage. And I don’t think anyone else should either. So do I support the idea of gay marriage? No, I don’t.”
When asked what he would do if one of his six kids told him, “Dad, bad news, I’m gay,” Cameron responded, “I’d sit down and I’d have a heart to heart with them, just like you’d do with your kids.”
Morgan shot back, “I’d say, ‘That’s great, son! As long as you’re happy.’ What would you say?”
Cameron offered, “I wouldn’t say ‘That’s great, son, as long as you’re happy.’ There are all sorts of issues we need to wrestle through in our life… Just because you feel one way doesn’t mean we should act on everything we feel.”

So bigoted Christian is a Christian and bigoted. Wow, what a shocking news story. You know what might have made this worth the attention? If Kirk Cameron answered a question with, “Well, my first reaction was to just pull an answer out of my ass and call it divine knowledge, but then I opened a book and absorbed legitimate facts about history and science before opening my mouth.” I’m pretty sure a wormhole would’ve opened right then and there allowing us to commune with other species across the galaxy, except the Catch-22 is everyone knows wormholes are basically a giant anus and therefore for faggots. We’d be right back where we started.

Photo: Getty