26-year old Kimberly Stewart has confirmed that she’s engaged to 19-year old Talan Torriero from that Laguna Beach show. The two clowns announced their engagement at an XBox 360 party where she was sporting a 5-carat diamond engagement ring I assume she bought herself, since my mind can’t wrap around a 19-year old tool from a reality show being able to afford something like that. I’ve actually never seen Laguna Beach but don’t you think Kimberly Stewart would have made one or two appearances on the show if her relationship with Talan was so serious? I’m not saying the show isn’t as real as reality can be, but it just seems odd is all. Doesn’t matter though, since their relationship won’t last more than 57 days. Why 57 you ask? Because that’s the number of dooooom. Fuck, I’m an idiot.
Shauna | November 17, 2005 at 5:23 pm
Kristin must be pissed. First she gets punk’d and now her prom date is engaged to the daughter of a slightly gay/retarded 80s wash up.
boris | November 17, 2005 at 5:27 pm
No, no, no… See Laguna Beach is “the real OC”. It’s about a bunch of rich kids without an iota of intelligence who fight over the same 3 boys like inbred Kentuckians.
That said, I bet Talan’s daddy paid for the ring…
al rarow | November 17, 2005 at 5:36 pm
360 *days ago*, no one knew who kimberly stewart was.
why is she news?
suzy | November 17, 2005 at 5:42 pm
I believe that both of them hooked up after they finished taping Laguna Beach. The reality show is based on a bunch of drama between a whole bunch of rich kids. Talan being the one with the Mercedes convertable. I believe he can afford that ring. Innywho, I’m kind of speechless and think that this wedding is going to get annuled before the reception.
Heather | November 17, 2005 at 6:21 pm
Kimberly’s dad must be proud.
tori | November 17, 2005 at 6:23 pm
wow. how special. she’s engaged to a 19-year-old boy; i hope she knows there’s no chance of making it.
and that’s a nice point about laguna beach. . .that show is such bullshit.
daisy4given | November 17, 2005 at 6:40 pm
I am shocked… 6 comments and no one has yet mentioned that this woman is so flat that she actually appears to be CONCAVE!
Zanathon | November 17, 2005 at 6:46 pm
Rod Stewart isn’t at all proud of the fact that his little girl is going to be married.
A better description would be that Rod is absolutely surprised that his greyhound-looking bitch of a daughter is going to get hitched to someone other than Mr.Magoo, or one of the Three Blind Mice. She’s slept with all of them, by the way – at the same time!.
Talan Torriero will only find out on their honeymoon and then the sparks (or Milkbones) will fly.
Zanathon | November 17, 2005 at 6:48 pm
Someone inform the Pope, for I think a miracle has just occurred.
ki | November 17, 2005 at 9:05 pm
I defy you to name a human being more pointless than Kimberly Stewart. Why this fucktarded half-assed-regurgitation of Paris Hilton is allowed to be photograph or see the light of day is beyond me.
Binky | November 17, 2005 at 9:19 pm
Personally – I’ve found women over 19 have “been around” as they say in the industry – so more power to her. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
But …I’m not sure this is real news. Who’s Rod’s gardener dating ?
FeldBum | November 17, 2005 at 11:14 pm
An XBox 360 party – how romantic!
Madison | November 17, 2005 at 11:28 pm
I’m excited to see if this is relationship thing is going to end up being more embarassing than the time Kimberly fell off that damn motorcycle and showed everyone the cave she calls a vagina.
becca11 | November 18, 2005 at 4:05 am
this comment thing was a bad idea. everyone thinks they are a comedian by making fun of people that are rich and famous and will never know who any of you are.
becca11 | November 18, 2005 at 4:08 am
this comment thing is a bad idea. these people are rich and famous and will never know who you are. remember that as you pick out flaws of these thin rich people that are on magazines and have lots of lazy fat americans talking about them.
onein10 | November 18, 2005 at 5:38 am
dear ms. becca11, keep in mind the name of this website: theSUPERFICIAL.com. PUHHHLEASSSEE take your guilt trip elsewhere.
X-Tina | November 18, 2005 at 8:02 am
Last year, the accessory for Hollywood’s filthy rich and lamest was any of a variety of small, purse-sized dogs – this year, apparently, it’s the fiance you’ve dated for like…30 minutes and a gaudy engagement ring. ACK! Ain’t Hollywood love grand?
enkoded | November 18, 2005 at 8:58 am
http://www.deansplanet.com/images/celebs/broads/kimberly_stewart/kimberly_stewart-bikini_01.jpg
this girl is disgusting. that body is not feminine and not attractive.
ric | November 18, 2005 at 9:47 am
Does Kimberly Stewart remind anyone else of Amber Frey, the “other woman” in the Scott and Laci Peterson case?
nycgirl | November 18, 2005 at 10:05 am
Becca11, you actually motivated me to sign up for this comments thing. I just found out about the superficial. It’s hilarious. It’s meant for fun. What is disturbing is your veneration for “rich, thin, famous” people and your disgust for everyone else whom you deem fat and lazy. You are the sad byproduct of celebrity worship. The others on this site: funny as hell.
suzy | November 18, 2005 at 10:20 am
In reference to commenter # 18 lol…. Kim Stewart has her dad’s body lol… oh boy
Broomstick Babe | November 18, 2005 at 11:29 am
Ms Stewart is not flat chested – she’s merely popped her head on back to front by accident.
Thundercat_18 | November 18, 2005 at 1:10 pm
Aaaaaaahhhhh! Man hands! The ability to crush Talan’s neck at the mere whisper of his impending infidelity is a virtual certainty given the span and length of those mits. I wonder if hand-binding is legal in this country. Cause Rod should have thought about that.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | November 18, 2005 at 6:08 pm
Jigga-who?
Liana | November 18, 2005 at 6:32 pm
WTF?!
With a name like Talan, I guess he really hit the big leagues. Not that Kim Stewart should be considered big league, lest we forget how due to the fact that there is no grey matter inside her head, she somehow managed to turn on the motorcycle she was sitting on and ate some red carpet while Paris didn’t even blink.
Doobieous | November 18, 2005 at 9:18 pm
I’m surprised that Kimberley is looking decent in that photo since she usually looks horsefaced. Although she looks about 35 all the time. My question is, why does Talan always look retarded in his photos? Does he think the “not smiling “model” thing looks good on him?
These two are probably the least interesting, most pointless celebrities ever.
The Scarlet Bitch | November 18, 2005 at 9:29 pm
I really hope if this does go ahead (pft… please.), they consider sterilisation.
If Kimberly hears the pitter patter of tiny feet down her corridor, it will be me with a forty five and a shovel.
Viola | November 19, 2005 at 8:17 am
By the way, I’ve heard Paris Hilton say that Kimberly Stewart is 30 (not 26)…
chickfila | November 19, 2005 at 1:42 pm
For those of you that did actually watch Laguna Beach, did you see the prom episode where you saw Talan’s mom for a second? She was tall, blonde, very thin, and horse-faced.Hmmmmm.
assholic | November 19, 2005 at 4:08 pm
sigh, anyone here actually watch loser beach? oh, ok, i briefly went through a couple of episodes and the things they talk were presented by rounds of gasps of “oh my gawd”, “like, really” etc.
btw, as for the question, no, didn’t noticed that kid’s mom but hmmmm indeed.
lisatrenamandi | November 19, 2005 at 6:29 pm
WOOF! talan is always stoned, which is why he always looks fucktarded (yes-stole the term from a comment above. i loved it).
isn’t this kimberly’s second engagement in under a year? she must be collecting rings like old men collect coins—or young, unattractive women like herself. i can only hope to amass such a copious number of obscenely large rocks in my lifetime.
what’s next? kristin from LB and gary busey?
unknownassassin | November 20, 2005 at 6:55 am
first of all, in talan’s defense, it warmed my heart when he and his friends organized that benefit fashion show for all those poor, underprivileged millionaires who suffered damage to their guest homes and solariums in the landslide that will live in infamy among LB residents simply as “the big bummer”…
anyway, here’s my idea for MTV’s next reality smash hit: FALLUJAH HILLS, starring kimberly stewart and talan torriero… in the one-hour pilot episode, the lovebirds are flown to fallujah, iraq, where they nest in a cozy one-bedroom hovel shared with a sunni family of seven. once there, fahrouk (the family’s eldest son and an aspiring publicist) convinces talan to become a suicide bomber, as it will be great press for his burgeoning pop music career (“you’ll have instant street cred with the 18 – 30 demographic,” explains fahrouk)… however, the marines arrive first and, in an effort to win the hearts and minds of the local population, drag talan off to a secret prison, where he is forced to perform sex acts on camera with a variety of livestock… meanwhile, kimberly is stoned to death by the neighbors for being a infidel prostitute… or maybe it’s for falling off the motorcycle at that premiere… or maybe it’s for rod stewart’s disco album… anyway, there’s no second episode–short and sweet, just like their courtship. ultimately, that means we can better accommodate the average MTV viewer’s nanosecond attention span and move onto the next project all the sooner: an as-yet unnamed show featuring “LC” as a taliban harem wife in the poshest section of kabul.
so, any buyers?
audi4 | November 27, 2005 at 1:52 am
I think that Talan friggin hot! If you like redheads who live in Orange County but still prefers GEDs. As for Kimberly, she should pawn that big ass ring and buy some cones for her flat chest. I’m still not sure that she’s not a transvetite who needs one more surgery. Oh yeah, and Paris’ fiance was much hotter!