Kim & Kourtney Kardashian pose with Kristin Cavallari in something called a ‘bikini’

November 15th, 2008 // 144 Comments

In order:
1 – 2. Kourtney Kardashian and Kristin Cavallari. (Tied.)
3. Hermit crab.
4. Beach chair.
5. Jellyfish.
6. Poseidon, God of the Sea.
7. Plankton.
8. Sand shark.
9. Jimmy Buffet.
10. Kim Kardashian.

superficial

  1. Liam

    all ugly

  2. cavy

    I don’t see how anyone can call Kim ugly or fat…look at her abs! She has a very flat stomach and thin arms. All you haters need to get some glasses, take a look in the mirror and check out the average person at your local mall!

  3. desi

    uhhh what was the question???

  4. harumph

    i agree with cavy here. the other two girls look very out of shape in the abdominal region. i mean, if her ass is such a problem area, at least kim has the decency to cover it up. whatsherface from laguna beach has that flat white-girl thing going on.

    why does everyone have to hate on a woman of color?

  5. Liam

    i like average

  6. The One Who Knows

    All 3 could eat crackers in my bed anytime. Got to love the ladied!

  7. The One Who Knows

    All 3 could eat crackers in my bed anytime. Got to love the ladies!

  8. Gerald_Tarrant

    Woman of color?? She is Armenian. Armenia borders on the Caucasus Mountain area. Seen that word before? That’s where the term Caucasian comes from. Color indeed.

  9. D. Richards (liquid excrement)

    Blech. A no-go on these hogs and it’s unholy to eat pig on the Sabbath.
    Now nibbling on a pork sword, well that’s different.

  10. Nelly

    Kim is beautiful, she has a shape body. People don’t be so envy.

  11. obligatory

    #4 Huh? Woman of color? She’s from Armenia. Well, I guess that’s not really European descent. More Asian. Wait, Middle Eastern. No wait, Russian. No, that ended. Jees, to me she’s just a no talent big bottom white girl.

  12. Jim

    Kim knows what she needs to do – frequent liposuction, plus covering up her cottage cheese caboose.

  13. Junio

    Kim’s body is just DYING to lard out. You can literally see it. It’s as if she’s struggling to hold back a gigantic flabalanche. Matter of time, sweetie, matter of time…

  14. dork

    The question is:

    What are the top ten best looking things on the beach?

  15. me

    You soooo know they are jealous of their white friend white the rock’n butt. They both have on a butt cover like you are fooling anyone. We know you are sporting the last surviving mammoth in there.

  16. Me 2

    I beg to differ. Kim has thick legs but she has the best abs of all 3. More importantly: Kristin Cavallari looks pale and she has definitely put on weight since her Laguna Beach days. Not to mention I’m pretty sure its been a solid 3 years since anyone cared if she was even alive…

  17. A different Jimbo

    Daaaamn, check out the ass on whoever the hell that blonde girl is in pic #5. NICE.

  18. Beth

    Kim’s not a woman of color. She’s a woman of body hair.

  19. Parker

    As I’ve said, I’ve given it some serious thought and do believe it’s physically possible to buttfuck Kim Kardashian. First she’d have to bend over a heavy sofa or table, then grasp the panties on the left side and draw them down as far as possible taking care not to get your hand caught between the skin and elastic. Next, walk around to her right side and repeat the same action, drawing the panties down as far as possible. Now repeat this process until one ass cheek is fully exposed. Before exposing the other side, take your duct tape, stick the leading edge to a long handled, flat bladed instrument such as a fly swatter. Press this as far into the exposed crack as possible and using a jerking motion, affix the tape to the inside face of the exposed ass cheek. Now PULL. Draw the cheek open. Don’t worry, she won’t even feel it. Just pull for your life and when you get this side open, throw a couple wraps around her leg (you may need an assistant.) Once you’ve got one side open the next is a little easier. Lower the panties on the other side to expose the other cheek and repeat the procedure. When you’re done, take a step back to admire your handiwork. You should be able to see her asshole in there somewhere now. Tell Kim she’s hot but try not to laugh. This will calm her down. If she gets agitated it’s possible one of her ass cheeks could flinch and break the leg it’s attached to. When you’re sure she’s calm, pour a liberal amount of KY down the valley between her cheeks and wait for it to soak in. This will take less than five minutes. Finally you want to liberally smear your cock with a long-acting lubricant such as that engine oil with the teflon beads in it. That stuff will ruin your engine but it’s just the right thing for buttfucking Kim. Don’t spare the stuff either. Pour some into her crack too. Then just step in behind her and shove your cock in her ass. Due to the depths involved you will not be able to get the entire shaft inside but you should be able to penetrate far enough to enjoy yourself. Encourage her not to talk by telling her you’ve got a few old birthday cakes in the kitchen and don’t know what to do with them. This will get her drooling and her mouth will get too wet to speak. After you blow your load in her ass, make sure to remove your cock slowy. Exiting too rapidly after long exposure to such crushing depths can create nitrogen bubbles in your blood that can cause crippling pain and even death. After you’re done and before you leave you should release her asscheeks. The process is slightly dangerous though so take care and do it right. Standing well to one side and at arms length, use a sharp knife to cut the duct tape at the point where it approaches the hip. You will not have to make the entire cut. Eventually the cut you make will shred apart and the tape will let go with a furious snap. Watch out for the live end of it or you’ll be going home with a good bruise. Wait till the first cheek stops moving before walking around to the other side. Now you want to cut this side the same way you did the other but be ready to clap your hands over your ears. What’s going to happen is once released this cheek is going to slap into the other and create a pressure wave capable of rupturing your eardrums. After both cheeks are free so are you. Congratulations, you fucked Kim Kardashian in the ass and lived to tell the tale!

  20. Kay

    haha
    Kim has GREAT ABS. It’s called Sucking In. The other 2 girls forgot to do it.
    All these ladies are attractive. But I wouldn’t call Kim’s abs great.

  21. ghj

    lol 1) no, guys, you’re right, she’s WHITE
    2) omg wtf parker

  22. bootlips

    They’re fine. They don’t have simian negro features.

  23. sameshitdifferentyear

    First of all, #19 that’s one of the best posts of the year. Damn near perfect.

    Okay, about this Kim K. entity. Let’s clear it all up.

    She has surprising abs, based on the ass-size and apparent diet (Kimzilla anyone?). Toned, not shredded. Fine for a lady, and for her too. Better than most visiting here expected, including me.

    She is swarthy: she’s a white-girl technically but has darker-skin. Whoopdeefuckindoodah.

    Her tits are clearly real. Plastic would just stick out differently somehow. I haven’t seen a pic of her yet that shows any kind of implants there. And for some inexplicable reason, this chick is photographed a lot.

    Her ass is absolutely fucking enormous.
    Different strokes, for different folks. Pick your poison.

    And again, #19 provides a perfect, play-by-play analysis. Worthy of a magazine article. But which magazine beats the fuck out of me.
    “Swarthy Assfuckers International” anyone???

  24. Erin

    Does anyone else see the scar looking thing on Kim’s lower abdominal region? Like she had something done there…..hmmm…

  25. Ugh! It pisses me off how you all criticize these girls. Is a girl supposed to have the washboard abs?

    And for someone to say that Kristen gained weight, jesus, does she honestly look bad to you? I was actually happy to see these pictures because THEY LOOK LIKE NORMAL GIRLS!!

  26. jill

    quit hating on Kim, she looks fab.

  27. jill

    i might add.. it’s funny how people idolize Marilyn Monroe or Jayne Mansfield and say they had the ideal bodies when all their lives they were sucking in their stomachs. Then you look at these ladies and say they are too fat or whatever. Huh?? People are just hypocrites!

  28. Jay

    They look great!
    Although Kim’s breasts look suspicious….I call breast implants.

  29. Nelly

    28. Jay – doesn’t know much about women

  30. kklsls

    4. harumph – November 15, 2008 4:30 PM

    Wow, not only are you mad stupid but you’re a hypocrite as well. Not entirely surprising, I suppose, since they almost always go hand-in-hand. If you’re all about not hating on “women of color” (lmfao, she’s not even “colored”, dumbass!) but it’s okay to call Kristin a typical white girl? Fuck off. I hope you can’s reproduce.

  31. Rant

    Kim is very sexy!

  32. ipanema_girl

    Hey D. Richards (or denise … ?), you’re back! Missed ya :D
    for some while, I thought you were this deacon jones, actually …..

  33. kiki

    That sicko Parker is too funny!!!!! ;-D

  34. Herpes

    Hi Kim, with all the mudshark loving I’m coming for another visit. Don’t be scared, a quick shot of penicillin will do the trick again (double dose this time). Maybe you should be a bit more discerning with your taste this time around? being a post-op transvestite doesn’t necessarily mean you have to sleep with every brother in LA, does it? btw- nice tuck! you can barely see your penis at all. Kisses..H

  35. maxchain

    Are they ordered by priority? Are 3 through 9 eclipsed by Kim’s ass? Someone explain it to me.

  36. Nice treat,,,well what do you know? kim got the best abs in the line up…

  37. Sport

    Kim is just a prettier version of Spencer and Heidi. WHole life spent in front of a camera or trying to get cameras to wherever you are. Give it up you fat attention starved pig. Oh – and fuck your dad for getting OJ off.

  38. jess

    Kim is beautiful! I’d kill to have her body.

  39. Danklin24

    You’re pretty much an idiot if you call Kim fat or ugly. Yeah she has a big ass, it doesnt mean she’s fat. She actually HAS an ass, unlike Kristin whats-her-face. Kim is fucking hot actually and i question any mans sexuality who doesn’t think so. That sad, her giant fucking sunglasses could take over the world! I mean jesus, the sun isnt THAT big Kim and if you’re wearing them as some sort of clever disguise you best keep that ass covered at all times. People know you from your ass. Well played Kim Kardashian

  40. wow i didnt see that pic, Kristin give new meaning to the words “sweet cheeks”

  41. bez

    ALthough I think she is way too into herself and her looks, i have to say that KIM does look good. Her body is shapely and womanly and her boobies look good, AND she has a waist. The Kristin chick or whoever has a boy body, no curves and her hips are almost the same size as her waist. Not that its important, but they are posing in their swimsuits so I will critique them.

  42. bez

    ALthough I think she is way too into herself and her looks, i have to say that KIM does look good. Her body is shapely and womanly and her boobies look good, AND she has a waist. The Kristin chick or whoever has a boy body, no curves and her hips are almost the same size as her waist. Not that its important, but they are posing in their swimsuits so I will critique them.

  43. bez

    ALthough I think she is way too into herself and her looks, i have to say that KIM does look good. Her body is shapely and womanly and her boobies look good, AND she has a waist. The Kristin chick or whoever has a boy body, no curves and her hips are almost the same size as her waist. Not that its important, but they are posing in their swimsuits so I will critique them.

  44. bez

    ALthough I think she is way too into herself and her looks, i have to say that KIM does look good. Her body is shapely and womanly and her boobies look good, AND she has a waist. The Kristin chick or whoever has a boy body, no curves and her hips are almost the same size as her waist. Not that its important, but they are posing in their swimsuits so I will critique them.

  45. gunther_bladderburst

    MAN is Kim hot on these pics. I basically hate her guts but I can’t deny it here — she’s SPLENDID. I’d die to have a girl with that body. Ooh mama!!!

  46. Bez? you had a seizure during -Post Your Comment-?

  47. dew

    @ 13. Junio – …she’s struggling to hold back a gigantic flabalanche.

    ROFL!

    I hope Kim always watches what she eats, and gets enough exercise, because I think Junio is right, and it won’t be pretty if it happens.

  48. CJ

    Pretty female….and she’ll be the first to agree with you. The whole family is sick like that…but can’t argue the looks. Now if you want to discuss dancing…it’s a laughfest. Acutally if you talk any redeemable skill it’s a laughfest. Just don’t understand the celebrity for nothing trend.

  49. TheJoker07

    Looking good kim!

  50. I’d hit ‘em.

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