A cleavagey Kim Kardashian performed with Mark Ballas last night on the premiere of Dancing with the Stars. Up until about 30 minutes ago, I could proudly say I’ve never seen even a clip of this show. I want a fucking time machine. In the meantime, Kim’s routine kicks in around the 1:50 mark if you want to skip her bullshit introduction that obviously included specific instructions from Kim not to film her ass. You know, because ABC cast her for her “star power” and “charism- HA HA HA! I tried. Really, I did.
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bob | September 23, 2008 at 12:31 pm
fuk u 1st!
joedaddy | September 23, 2008 at 12:32 pm
First first time bitches!!
ihatework6969 | September 23, 2008 at 12:33 pm
reminds me of the scene in Fantasia where the crocodiles were dancing with the hippos with the larger asses…. oh wait…. they were smaller….
WhoreMeister | September 23, 2008 at 12:35 pm
The WhoreMeister would like to invite all of you to go fuck yourselves.
bob | September 23, 2008 at 12:36 pm
haha joedady u fuking douche
kim ur fat ass is the reason y u have no balance, but ilove it!
keep doin wat u do
Penilopi | September 23, 2008 at 12:38 pm
hey guys, i like her
dont be mean
http://www.marzino.com
e | September 23, 2008 at 12:43 pm
“Why am I so unbalanced?”
BAHAHAHAHA, it’s b/c half your weight resides in your gimungous ass cheeks STUPID!!
ali | September 23, 2008 at 12:46 pm
she looks good with her hair like that.
Mike | September 23, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Ha! The chick judge said Kim’s not used to using her head!
Paul | September 23, 2008 at 12:51 pm
She’s been pissed on in a sex tape, Tom Bergeron. I don’t think there’s anything Bruno could say that could damage her reputation or hurt her mom’s feelings. What a nasty ass slag.
friendlyfires | September 23, 2008 at 12:56 pm
1.) ABC now stands for Awkwardly Balanced Caboose, Awkward But Cold, Awkward Big Clodhopper
2.) Jasmine NEVER had a camel hump that big. Such a huge backside would tear through poor Carpet. Babu would fall in and never be seen nor heard again. OTOH, Genie wouldn’t have live in that bottle ever again, more room in the ginormous ass-palace.
Sarah | September 23, 2008 at 12:58 pm
lol “Why am I so unbalanced??” hahaha
162sbombs | September 23, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Did she SERIOUSLY say “I’m best known for being a reality TV star”?
And here I thought she was best known for taking a black dude’s toboggan in her butt on camera.
Sid | September 23, 2008 at 1:04 pm
She would have done much better but she became very distracted when she looked out into the audience and spotted a black guy jiggling his leg.
Grayson | September 23, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Dear Kidnapper,
I watched most of this video before getting bored, and heard Kim say, during practice, “Why am I still off balance?”
Upon reading this post, however, I did not find any reference to the obvious explanation for her poor equilibrium.
As said explanation is the favorite topic of the superficial writer, I can only assume that he has been kidnapped, and that this post is a clever way to avoid drawing attention from the authorities, while still seeking ransom from the writer’s fans.
So, my question to you is: What do you want from us?
Sincerely,
A concerned reader.
AJ | September 23, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Kim says she is best known for her reality show, but in reality she is best known for doing porn with her boyfriend and he claims to have a fat fettish. Kim does not have a lot of muscle tone which prevents her from having good balance. This is why they did simple dance moves. Kim’s dance performance was boring and she did not connect with the audience or judges because this would force Kim to think about others instead of herself.
it's me Fuckers! | September 23, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Even though I can’t stand the woman, I thought she looked awesome. Dancing? Meh, I have to agree with the judges, she just didn’t seem to connect. She has the moves but she has to put personality with them… oh… wait… she doesn’t HAVE personality. K she’s fucked.
nipolian | September 23, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I found a really good clip on YouTube of Kim practicing for the show.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UeCRY1wciA
Cookied | September 23, 2008 at 1:37 pm
MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK MUDSHARK
kelley | September 23, 2008 at 1:44 pm
VERY mediocre … you can even see her legs for the silly dancing dress … it needs to be shorter, duh !!!
Mike Oxbhig | September 23, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Shes Beautiful
Too bad she has such a propensity for dark meat.
Buck Futter | September 23, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I still don’t know what she is, mexican, interracial, indian, alien? whatever. I like to masterbate to her and that’s all she’s good for.
Go Away Kim K | September 23, 2008 at 2:32 pm
LardAss
Mudshark
No Talent
Dumbass
This fat ass thinks she’s special, she is really a DUD!
Go Away Kim K | September 23, 2008 at 2:32 pm
LardAss
Mudshark
No Talent
Dumbass
This fat ass thinks she’s special, she is really a DUD!
ra | September 23, 2008 at 2:33 pm
What a whore
missywissy | September 23, 2008 at 2:40 pm
16 and 17 right on. I think this is the best she has ever looked, however she was dull, like she’s counting on her looks and her ass to get her to the next show.
I was hoping she was going to dance to R. Kelley’s “I Want to Pee On You”.
sorry Dave Chappelle, we know you’re above what made you awesome, but that shit was funny.
yum | September 23, 2008 at 2:43 pm
SO pretty
Rough Daddy | September 23, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Who watches this crap anyway? and why does’nt he have constant wood?
wow | September 23, 2008 at 2:45 pm
BELLISSMA!
gravity bitch | September 23, 2008 at 2:46 pm
“The one thing that could slow medown is I have trouble with balance, why am I so unbalnced?”
Really Kim? Do you really need to ask that? Awe you are that stupid aren’t you?
Well fat ass the reason you have “trouble” with balance is because your ass weighs a metric ton. It’s a little something called gravity, don’t worry you’ll learn a lot more about it as time goes by and big fat lardy things, like your ass and tits, start to go south. Ah gravity a fat girls kryptonite.
Now let me help your little pea brain understand this concept, it’s basically like if a Jennifer Love Hugeportions was trying to stand up straight and dance with Rose O’Donell strapped to her backside… oh and Rosie was holding two freakishly huge turkeys(her lunch) and lying on an industrial strength heart shaped water bed (so basically she’s “working”) ALL THIS is going on on Jennifer’s rear which is already sizeable to begin with.
I mean it’s a miracle you can stand, you should really be in a wheelchair never able to walk again. So just be grateful that you can even waddle around the dance floor, and pray for the sake of your partners family that you don’t fall on him.
Randal | September 23, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Kim, you’re such a tease pretending you don’t move like a snake, luring all to your lair to bite down on them with oodles of loving venom! Loved the outfit, pink certainly brings out the best in you.
Congratulations on your first ever dance. Just so you know, I did call the 800 # and gave you my vote. Love you lots!
xoxo
Randal
sexy brains | September 23, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Notice he didn’t try to do any lifts? Her ginormous ass would crush him!
ray | September 23, 2008 at 3:49 pm
OINK OINK
She is fat by any standards. Huge fat lard ass, short fat legs, monster feet and a huge mouth big enough to deep throat horse or donkey dicks with.
Fuckin worthless trash!
e | September 23, 2008 at 4:10 pm
#30, hilarious, you made my day.
Eunice Agatha Mabel | September 23, 2008 at 4:11 pm
This show sucks so badly. Aren’t senior citizen’s the only ones who watch this shit?
Lisa | September 23, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Shes stunning
dawn | September 23, 2008 at 4:40 pm
…yea, stunningly retarded and FAT
Grace | September 23, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Kims lardbottom has its own zip code.
What has she done to earn the title “star”? She let some dumbass piss on her.
She must give head to the paparazzis and this shows producer and let them piss on her. That’s all she’s good for.
She thinks she’s some kind of Princess Diana with millions of adoring fans and everyone respects her. In reality she’s seen as a urinal and a vapid attention whore.
Step aside Kim. Take a bath (without the urine).
Ronin | September 23, 2008 at 5:50 pm
She must be blowing the Superficial writer; he sure is obsessed with her extremely large butt.
Bruce | September 23, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Ronin: and YOU’RE not? (obsessed with her large butt or being blow by KK?) I’m just obsessed with the bootay, myself. However, I did notice that the camera seemed to pull back every time there was an extended rear-shot; also, that dress didn’t do much to indicate her possible butt capacity. I think they need to put her in Daisy Dukes and find her something to “drop” to…if you catch my drift. Then, I shall be able to make my true “ass”essment as to her “ass”ets. HA! And start masturbating furiously, as well.
UK_Matt | September 23, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Hmmm. Its the nodding along to the Princess Jasmine comment that has fucked me off.
I can live with the fat ass, the sex tape abasement and the general lack of merit to humanity. However, believing your own hype to the extent you expect those kind of comments as validation of your own self opinion….oh dear.
Oh dear. Oh dear.
Laura | September 23, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Wow- she’s a really bad dancer.
Yank and Wank - they rhyme for a reason | September 23, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Why are two of the judges European? Do you have no bloody American people in America, or is that you require the superior European intellect to tell you whether you are any good?!
Alicat | September 23, 2008 at 8:38 pm
How does a person who praces around completely overdressed and in stilettos all the time still be so ungraceful?
Binky | September 23, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Actually – I, personally, thought she was quite good.
(not that I’ve seen the show)
Joe Cat | September 23, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Kim Kardashian is so disgusting.
I don’t know why everyone is so worried about The Swedes recreating the Big Bang; If the world is going to implode upon itself, it will almost certainly be into her massive ass.
minerva | September 23, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Hmmmm she’s a very stiff dancer… The guy has a better chance of winning with a 6 ft. metal pole as his partner…
Binky | September 23, 2008 at 9:33 pm
#46 Joe Cat – I don’t think it was the Swedes – although I never did trust that Mats Sundin guy – it’s the Swiss with that ‘Black Hole’ or (African American Hole -PC) generator we gotta worry about.
Cliff Notes : Is it true you’re still waiting for the ‘big bang’ Bink ?
Binky : ….Cliff – you’re beginning to get on my nerves.
yomama | September 23, 2008 at 9:52 pm
“Reality tv star”. LOL
Reyce | September 23, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Kim Kardashian makes me want to gouge my face off with a fork. Someone please assassinate this girl…