Kim Kardashian’s ass is fully operational

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Kim Kardashian picked up a coffee while shopping on Robertson Blvd yesterday in Los Angeles and lucky for us she wore the velour tracksuit. It’s almost like she has a Death Star permanently attached to her lower back. I bet that thing could fire beams that destroy entire planets. And can you imagine having sex with that thing? I know I can. Though the apartment above me probably wishes I didn’t “imagine” so much. Hey, how was I supposed to know your TV’s right above my bed? You never invite me over for beer and porn like a good neighbor. Who cares if you’re a 90-year-old woman? Friendship doesn’t have an age limit.

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News