Kim Kardashian wants a baby NOW

October 21st, 2009 // 77 Comments

Since it’s no fair stupid Kourtney gets to have one and hog all the attention, Kim Kardashian wants a baby before she hits 30 next October, according to Life & Style:

“I always had a vision I’d be married with one kid by the time I’m 30.” Not that Kim’s likely to be waiting for a ring much longer. After dating for more than two years, Kim and boyfriend Reggie Bush, split in July but are now back together and working on their issues. “Before, I was strictly all about my work,” Kim admits. “Now I make it a priority to go see him instead. It’s all about the commitment you choose to make.”
And with renewed faith in their relationship, Kim and Reggie are making moves toward their future. “Kim is selling her condo so she and Reggie can buy a home together in Los Angeles,” her friend says. And the prospect of having a big house has Kim thinking about how she and Reggie will fill it. “I want a lot of kids,” Kim tells Life & Style. “Maybe five or six. A mix of both boys and girls.”

I’m sure nothing will bring Kim Kardashian more joy than giving birth to a beautiful baby, immediately handing it off to a team of Mexican nannies and then spending the next year hiring the greatest plastic surgeons of our time to restore her ass. I hear one of them even built a time machine to go into the future since our current ass enhancement technologies fall short of such a task. Or maybe I’m thinking about last week’s Nip/Tuck. You get my point.

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Comments (77)

  1. Oliver Chester The Molester Lester | October 21, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    If Reggie’s fumbles to TD ratio is any indication, she may have to give him several tries before he scores a TD with her ovaries.

    Reply
  2. Onyx Blackman | October 21, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    “I want a lot of kids,” Kim tells Life & Style. “Maybe five or six. A MIX of both boys and girls.”

    Yeah, her kids will be mixed alright. HAY-O!

    Reply
  3. cc | October 21, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    No problem Kim. I have plenty to contribute and am more than willing to make donations twice a day until success is achieved. Of course, it is important that even after conception, we keep goingfor a couple months. I hear it’s good for the mother’s health.

    Reply
  4. Dave ain't here, man | October 21, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    “Before, I was strictly all about my work.” What work is that, exactly?

    Reply
  5. Seb | October 21, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    Well she can have my dick to start with.

    Reply
  6. stupidass | October 21, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    damn it!!! that’s just bad timing. i was tossin’ jizz everywhere just 2 minutes ago here by myself.

    this just isn’t my day.

    Reply
  7. Sport | October 21, 2009 at 1:09 pm

    The attention whore is upset that her sisters are getting all the attention lately due to shame weddings and unprotected sex.

    Awwww. Poor talentless Kim.
    Just c-section your ass and deliver those twins already.

    Reply
  8. Jack | October 21, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    She’s got. Give this girl everything she wants in life.

    Reply
  9. Haters | October 21, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    They’re all going to come out of the woodwork ripping her. Let me be clear. I would bone her silly. Her face is fake, her tits are fake, and her ass may be padded. And I would bone them all.

    Reply
  10. Dave | October 21, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    Am I mistaken here or does a gallon or so of face paint make this one appear to be semi attractive?

    Reply
  11. iamnotbadtemperediamidiotintolerant | October 21, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    anyone watched the movie Idiocracy ??? won’t be a fiction very soon !

    Reply
  12. Ronnie Dobbs | October 21, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    She just wants a nigger baby.

    Reply
  13. Christina | October 21, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    She is annoying but pretty

    Reply
  14. O'Roughly factor | October 21, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    Well looks like no more gulliver’s travel typa dream on those mountainous,crevices…

    Reply
  15. Me, me, me | October 21, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    I’d love to help her in her endeavors.

    Reply
  16. Dave | October 21, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    @12

    I didn’t know republicans were commenting here.

    Hello.
    How are you.

    Is it raining where you are?

    Reply
  17. Inmate #2648927 | October 21, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    More piglets.

    Reply
  18. Zee Brat | October 21, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    That’s a great fucking dress.

    Reply
  19. Eddy | October 21, 2009 at 1:56 pm

    #4, Dave, you took the words right out of my mouth.

    Reply
  20. McBiff | October 21, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    Reggie keeps trying but you just can’t get pregnant anally

    Reply
  21. Bleep bloop | October 21, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    I’ll put 17 in belly and 3200 on her face

    Reply
  22. Bleep bloop | October 21, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    I’ll put 17 in belly and 3200 on her face

    Reply
  23. Bleep bloop | October 21, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    I’ll put 17 in belly and 3200 on her face

    Reply
  24. Bleep bloop | October 21, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    I’ll put 17 in belly and 3200 on her face

    Reply
  25. Bleep bloop | October 21, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    I’ll put 17 in belly and 3200 on her face

    Reply
  26. Sheena | October 21, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    OMG. After the sixth kid that ass will qualify as Earth’s second and third moons.

    Reply
  27. obvinot | October 21, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    Yes, yes, by all means breed MORE ass into the blacks. Sounds like a great idea…. While you’re at it why not add more laziness & criminal tendencies into the negro bloodlines too?

    Reply
  28. Rancid | October 21, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    How will she toilet-train her kids? Have them pee on her face?

    Reply
  29. Aunt Jemima | October 21, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    Who the fuck came up with that look? She looks like Auntie/Tina Turner from Mad Max : Beyond Thunderdome.

    Reply
  30. Aunt Jemima | October 21, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    Who the fuck came up with that look? She looks like Auntie/Tina Turner from Mad Max : Beyond Thunderdome.

    Reply
  31. OnTheRealThough | October 21, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    MY GOD…the things I’d do to this woman. She’s dumb as a rock, but good lord she is bangin’!!

    Hey Ronnie Dubbs, go fukk yourself, diickhead.

    Reply
  32. don | October 21, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    I’m sure Reggie or some other monkey/ape/primate would be sure to help her out there.

    I’m sure this chick has had more jizz sprayed on her than Jenna Jameson…

    Reply
  33. Nick | October 21, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    She’s super fine. A rocking bod, a sexy look, and the girl knows how to please a man.

    perfect.

    Reply
  34. Just Pee On Her, Don't F Her | October 21, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    Any bf of hers would be stupid to keep F’n her. When a woman says she wants a baby, it’s time to dump her. ALL the kartrashian women are BEASTS.

    Reply
  35. whatever | October 21, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    i think she looks very pretty and stylish …i love the dress and she has a great body !!!!! quit hatin because she doesnt weigh 45 pounds ..get over it

    Reply
  36. whatever | October 21, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    i think she looks very pretty and stylish …i love the dress and she has a great body !!!!! quit hatin because she doesnt weigh 45 pounds ..get over it

    Reply
  37. whatever | October 21, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    i think she looks very pretty and stylish …i love the dress and she has a great body !!!!! quit hatin because she doesnt weigh 45 pounds ..get over it

    Reply
  38. Kelley | October 21, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    LOL, #34 … is this how famous they become for simply being the daughters of OJ’s lawyer ?? Wow. Talentless lot, all of them. What’s most hilarious is that Kim “I’ve never had plastic surgery” Kardashian doesn’t realize that real tits are not square at the sides. Lying bitch.

    Reply
  39. gigi | October 21, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    death to all shoulder pads!!! …otherwise, cute dress…. quit hating because you can’t be or have her…. just admire…

    Reply
  40. BostonTroy | October 21, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    Her “work”?!? Whoring yourself on reality tv & getting yourself inside Star & Hello magazines is now considered work? This fat ass needs to go back to getting peed on in adult videos. Now THAT’S work.

    Reply
  41. gotmilk? | October 21, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    40, if that was her idea of work, clearly she’s still making it a priority. why does she tell the media this shit, like the world cares when you want to have babies?

    Reply
  42. AmericanWhiteTrash | October 21, 2009 at 5:19 pm

    Don’t worry Kim. You’ll have a nigger baby in no time.

    Reply
  43. johnny jizzload | October 21, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    If he’d just pump her full of jism instead of pee-pee…

    Reply
  44. TheJoker07 | October 21, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    I’ll give her a baby.

    Reply
  45. TrojanBuster | October 21, 2009 at 6:59 pm

    I’m sure USC would be up for buying Reggie another house. Zing!!!

    Reply
  46. hata | October 21, 2009 at 7:03 pm

    Most jobs involve taking it in the ass, so Kimmie is certainly in the work force, don’t knock her (up).

    Reply
  47. f | October 21, 2009 at 7:28 pm

    Shw i shallow, stupid, vain etc, but my god she is so HOT! I’d slam that ass.

    Reply
  48. Jamie Lynn's Uterus | October 21, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    What WORK does this fucking no talent skank do? Spread her legs, blow black guys and get pissed on, while most likely her mother films it, distributes it to the internet then lies about it?

    And by the way, it’s never a good idea to put an obese sloppy ass like that in sequins. Just sayin’. Her stylist should be fired, hates her, or is Khloe.

    Reply
  49. sdfsd | October 21, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    whats all this talk of getting pissed on? was she pissed on for real?

    Reply
  50. Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo | October 21, 2009 at 7:55 pm

    Don’t cows have heffers?

    Reply

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