Kim Kardashian has taken umbrage with my clearly scientific debate regarding her buttpads. Check out her latest blog entry (NOTE: I took the liberty of un-editing all the a–’s. My replacements in italics.):
OMG! When will people get off my atrium, literally! Haha. I have said it a million times before and I’ll say it again: My booty is as real as the designer items I’m auctioning off on eBay.
The reason I bring this up is because those jokesters at the Superficial claimed that I wear foam panties. NOT TRUE! (And I don’t stuff ‘em with Charmin either).
I think my photo shoots clearly prove I don’t wear butt pads!
To all you non-believers at the Superficial, kiss my REAL and GORGEOUS amphitheater!
XOXO,
Kim
I’ve accepted Kim’s challenge and included the Ralph Lauren photo shoot she presents as proof of her natural assy-ness. Now on to the scrutiny!
Set 1: You’re either making the most valid argument in the history of debate or really have to pee. Analysis: Inconclusive.
Set 2: Do that underwear thing again. I can’t research in these conditions. Analysis: BOO!
Set 3: Ha! Mirrors don’t fool me. You’ve been hanging out with Criss Angel, haven’t you? Bad, Kim Kardashian! Bad! Analysis: Not convinced.
Set 4: Okay, now you’re just sitting on your butt. If you’re not going to take this thing seriously, I’m taking off my pants. Analysis: I need me a gypsy tent.
Set 5: Nipples will only get you everywhere. Analysis: Whatever she says is true.
Set 6: Are you trying to knock down that wall? No, wait, you gotta pee again. Lady, go easy on the Aquafina. Christ. Analysis: What were we talking about again? If it’s boobs, I’m all over it.
DIAGNOSIS: BUTTPAD!
Sorry, Kim, but hey, I’m a reasonable guy. You can invite me over to your house and we’ll make some science. Namely through the time-tested method of my hands/your butt.* But, remember, it’s all for the children. Those sweet, sweet children that I should probably wrangle up. Anyone got a net?
*Tears of joy emitted from The Superficial Writer do not invalidate claims of buttpad’s presence. The Superficial Writer also reserves the right to free said buttpad and use it as a decorative throw pillow in a room of his choosing. Buttpad may also double as a frisbee. Whee!
Good lord women are some catty bitches.
Kim>You
WHO CARES!!!NO ONES PERFECT!!! id rather see pics of celebs helping others in need with their gigantic pay checks…thats what we should be gripping about!
#80
Kim is not proud of her figure for the following reasons:
She relies on Photoshop.
She wears girdles and butt pads.
She lies about her weight and measurements.
She got implants to improve her figure.
She got a nose job to improve her looks.
She hides her huge cellulite butt when wearing a swim suit.
Kim’s hips are 40 plus which is fat for any size person.
She wears too much make up.
You sound bitter Kim (this has to be Kim) because you are checking out and admiring skinny chicks.
Skinny chicks have skinny butts and fit chicks have small shapely butts and fat chicks like Kim have big fat butts and in Kim’s case; fat saggy ugly cellulite butt. Kim is more than 30 pounds overweight like the average American. Kim you got famous because your rich daddy got a killer off and you did bad porn and because you are a big joke with the paps wearing your girdle with butt pads and making your butt look freaky.
Now Kim I am sure you will post more positive comments about yourself because you are a big fat mess!
hey there Kimmie-porkpie! so nice of you to join us here. let me let you in on a little secret of mine. i am 5’5″, 128lbs, and i have ASS FAT (OH NO!) and you know what i do when i go to the beach? I WEAR A PAIR OF SHORTS OR A SARONG! sound familiar? it should, becasue that is what your fat ass does. i mean, hey – women just get cellulite, right? that is just part of our make-up. but you, my love, could fill a 5 gallon bucket with your shit. just come out and tell the truth. we won’t be mad at you. we might even begin to respect you a bit more for it…….nah, probably not. but welcome to the superficial anyway. you, being the poster child for superficiality, should fit right in!!
The weirdest part of this whole comment board is that everyone is talking about whether or not she is fat or hot (my vote is for thick and stupid) and no one even metioned comments #8 & 79. I cant believe that there are still stupid racists out there writing on these boards. Furthermore i can’t believe that Erik #8 and Ted #79 can even type or read a keyboard through the white hooded hats of their Klan Robes (white dunce caps).
She is idiotic, true, and a more than a little thick, true… but does that make it ok to drop the n-bomb on a comedy and news site. Weird… I am glad we live in America land of the free, where jackass racists can voice their views and still people keep talking about some chick’s ass, like nothing happened. I wonder… does that mean you folks agree because you didnt disagree with them…?
Kim, you are a disgrace to Armenians, stop fucking black guys you fat bitch
You are not sexy!
For someone that says her butt is real, she sure doesn’t show off her assets in any of these photos. ZING!
Dear Superficial Writer,
I respectfully suggest that you claim Ms. Kardashian has fake breasts. Clearly, she is cheating in the chest department, and its wrong for her to continue the deception.
The sooner her lies are exposed, the sooner I can get of—- we can rest easy.
Sincerely,
A Loyal Reader
You know….She could possibly do something useful with her time. Oh wait, that’s crazy of me to think. Orcas don’t really have as high of an IQ has most humans (I say “most” because I’m aware of the funk that lives in Hollywood).
Oh and by “useful” I mean: a) Read a book. b) Go for a swim (I know she misses performing at Seaworld). c) Go for a jog. d) attempt to do something that doesn’t make her look like a superficial, raving moron.
Then again, that’s why she ends up here…..Stay classy Willy….I mean Kim.
# 94..
Guess what..Im a chick and I dont find her as hot as you do sweetie…
She is a head turner , big boobs and a big butt will do that for you…but thats as far as I feel about her.
Dont generalize, you sexist little sh*it about women being jealous of her …A women disagrees about the beauty of another women and she is labeled jealous….get off it.
There are many beautiful women in the world and industry I have no problem admitting are beautiful , shes just not one of them, sorry,I dont find her all that. So find her as hot as you like…dont insult other women because of their opinions you jerk
I am amused that both Superficial and her site seem to use the same image engine. =1 Kim, if you’re reading this, you’re gorgeous don’t change a thing.
I’ve seen plenty of women with booties like that- so get off her amphitheater! Ya know not all the females in Hollywod want to barf and get surgically altered to fit someone’s idea of thin.
Hey Kim,
I watched your reality show a couple of times and you and your sisters are big fat cosmetic surgery messes. I think your brother is the only smart sibling and cool sibling in the family. He got his degree and lives on his own. He is also a Beatles fan so this is a big plus too. Face it Kim; you are fat and rely on girdles. No hot chick relies on girdles. Now go pay someone to do more Photoshop on your pics.
I don’t mean this as a “zinger” or anything, just an honest fact. That first picture looks precisely like a RealDoll(TM). Exactly.
#13 is right: the top picture is classic Lane Bryant. Kim looks exactly like a “plus size” model. There’s nothing wrong with that, unless you insist that it’s not true, like, say, Jennifer Love Hewitt. The truth is, the only fat people who are comfortable with themselves are the plus size models who were always big. Kim and JLH both put on a lot of weight, and they’re trying to say they think they look great, they’re proud of their bodies, yada yada yada – while insisting they still have their former (thinner) bodies. If a guy got a chance to “hit it” with Kim, he’d be excited about watching her strip with the lights on and with her back to him at least part of the time. The reality is, she’s uncomfortable with her weight gain so the lights would be off, she’d strip quickly while facing him, and then get under the covers as fast as possible. And then start spraying the guy with black paint so she could get aroused.
Can we have more Reggie please??
#93 nailed it.
Kim, if you’re reading this, and I sincerely hope you are, please disregard the disrespectful posts I may have mad about you previously, although in my defense, when I stated that I wanted to “put it in you” I meant it TOTALLY in the most respectful way possible.
I would also love to very respectfully cast my genetic material all over your buxom body and think the 2 of us should VERY respectfully roll around in warm body oils and just…and just let nature take over.
Why is Kim hiding her ass in these pictures!? Superficial gets a super plug from Kim, damn, fish your blog hits have to be through the roof today, good for you because you run the best blog in town!
110@
Women have smaller brains then men, that’s scientific fact.
#105: That’s because to respond to them is to give them the attention they want. They’re trolls–if you feed them, they’ll only come back.
We know Kim has a big fat wide loose butt for a short person because she is addicted to food and the fat shows on her hips, thighs, and butt the most. She wears girdle butt pads to hide her ugly cellulite when wearing tight clothes and to make her huge butt look perky. No fit female in their right mind would be jealous of an overweight female and especially with 40 plus hips; huge! I feel sorry for fat people because it is obvious they are addicted to food. Other addictions can be hidden like a compulsive gambler, but one cannot hide an addiction to food because the fat does not lie.
I am not a hater by any means, but don’t expect me to be awed by plastic surgery, no talent, a bad attitude, and butt pads. Her body is unattractive unless you are some nasty horn dog man! They would deserve eac other!
I’m a 26 year old female with a rather large rump. I am also a fitness instructor. Her ass is fat!
#20—It wouldnt be so bad if she didnt think she looked hot. She looks bad and needs to diet—pronto!
I’m not in the public eye like her, yet I still manage to watch my figure and make healthy choices. I understand genetics play a huge role, but for the love of God! Enough with the “average woman” crap! The average woman is a size 12! And that is HUGE not healthy!
i dont think her pictures prove anything. i dont see a picture of her ass, do you?
Wow, she’s gained 20lbs in the last year. Time to hit the gym, Kimmy.
It is so obvious she wears butt pads. Look at how petite Kim was before she got fat. Kim really does have a petite frame but she got fat and huge now. She had a flat butt back then and now she has a big wide loose cellulite butt. In another picture you can see Kim starting to get fat and getting a pear shaped body.
http://plasticsergeant.com/home/celebrity/surgery/kim-kardashian–butt-implants
Look how weird Kim’s butt looks in this pic. You can tell she is not wearing butt pads but a girdle and you can see her dimples and cellulite! Gross!
Kim is basically a big fat joke and a worthless no talent media whore.
http://www.gossipboulevard.com/2008/04/15/paris-hilton-dishes-kim-kardashian-cottage-cheese-butt/3741/
I will repost the pic for people who say they need proof. Don’t worry it’s not spam but seriously proof and should be posted as evidence on the main site
http://dapoandtomi.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/kim-kardashian-bikini-1-06.jpg
and
http://celebsinbikini.com/2008/03/07/kim-kardashian-bikini-candid-pictures/
Also, if you watch her little video on working out she said her trainer made her special work outs for when shes on the road because she travels SO MUCH, little 5 minute work outs. I doubt her life is SO busy she cant take a full 30 minutes to do some work. Can anyone tell me if 5 minutes of working out actually does anything?
I see comments, that may or may not be Kim, hating on people who have to work out or have a nice body to compensate for their face. Does that seriously justify not working out or eating healthy.? No face, however gorgeous, should let their body go so badly. Its one thing to be fat and know it and try to diet or at least feel insecure about it. Its another for a person to be so PROUD of their body and be in denial and think there is nothing wrong. I only believe a person should be proud of their body, overweight or not, when they know they work out and eat healthy and still cant shed the pounds. This is more of a health issue than any superficialness going on.
Here’s a picture from a Lane Bryant lingerie show. Personally, I think the girl looks hot. But, she’s a Lane Bryant model because she’s a plus size, especially around the hips and thighs – which you’ll notice are not as big/wide as Kim’s. So Kim’s hot for sure, but she’s also a plus size girl. It’s not an either/or type of thing. In fairness, it doesn’t help that Kim herself rejects rather than embraces the “plus size” description. Nobody likes a liar.
http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/698421.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF19332EFD823EFD41CFDACBAC3F1A7C660A0284831B75F48EF45
The ultimate in narcissism… not only reading posts about yourself, but feeling the need to respond to them. I would still let my zipper dragon breathe fire all of that ass.
ALRIGHT FOLKS, TWO THINGS:
1. YES, KIM’S ASS PROBABLY FALLS TO SHIT ONCE THE SHRINK WRAP PANTIES COME OFF, AND YES, ITS PROBABLY FLABBY, BUT WHO CARES, I THINK I CAN GET AROUND THAT PART CONSIDERING HOW SLAMMING THE REST OF HER IS.
2. KIM, LET ME KNOW IF YOU’RE INTERESTED IN HIRING ADDITIONAL STAFF, IN PARTICULAR, A HUMAN TOILET. THANKS MUCH.
this link works:
http://www.jamd.com/image/g/698421?epmid=3
(ironically, the first link was too bloated)
Kim….Kim….Kim…I’m calling you…yummy yummy Ring Ding…mmmm…eat me….
that green swimming suit is waaaay too tight. i dont know why they would have her wear that for a shoot. ooh wait… photoshop
first – why are we even discussing her? who is she? has she done anything really? i mean REALLY???? but if she’s going to put herself out there than i have no problem giving my opinion.
she’s short, she’s chubby, the pictures are totally photo-shopped, no shots of her from behind EVER. look at her colouring. do you men have any idea the maintenance she likely goes through to not be a hairy monster? a friend of mine with her background had to wax her lip, chin, stomach, lower back, upper legs (obviously lower), and her bikini line if let go would be a DISASTER. i don’t know….i am blond, above average pretty, thin, average height in great shape. i’m not in any way shape or form jealous. i can appreciate that she’s a pretty girl in the exotic looking way but i’d like to see how she would look if left on an island for a month with no hair, make-up and primping. actually she’d likely lose a few pounds so maybe a good thing.
just don’t put yourself out there unless you can take the heat. and yes – her and her sisters/mom are so stupid it’s embarrassing.
again – who are they??????
#67 is most definitely Kim or a friend or family member.
Obvious signs: bad grammer and spelling, using big words in an inappropriate and nonsense manner, ridiculous babbling all to “defend” her.
Who would defend a total stranger that ridiculously? Because if you don’t know her, you have redefined irony, babe. You’re just as “psycho” as the person you are attacking!
Still not getting it, are you? Quit being such a superficial fucking bitch and no one would slam you. Do you ever see people hate this much on Pam Anderson? And she’s as giant pile of cosmetic surgery and non too bright, and had a sex tape. But she is a cool chick, at least most of the time… And she’s not out there making a fool out of herself* just to get attention.
*not counting marrying slimeball dudes who beat the crap out of her, and tonguing people dressed in giant foamy animal costumes… Ok so maybe she does make a fool out of herself… But she’s still not a bitch!
For the good of humanity and this site’s sanity (quit rhyming and I mean it! Anybody want a peanut?), I am willing to risk pink eye by verifying that brown eye enclosure is real.
#71
Hi Kim!
Good try but you are still fat and have an ugly cellulite butt1
that green swimming suit is waaaay too tight. i dont know why they would have her wear that for a shoot. ooh wait… photoshop
that green swimming suit is waaaay too tight. i dont know why they would have her wear that for a shoot. ooh wait… photoshop
It is getting close to lunch and we will not be hearing from Kim and her group of posters until after lunch; unless they ordered take out and want to sit at their computers while eating and type more positive comments.
Why does she think that photos showing she already has that dent in her hip/thigh area disprove anything about her ass? btw, she’s really young to have that dent, it’s more of a middle-aged thing when stuff starts to fall and bulge at the same time.
#30… you need to get out more…
Miss Piggy is not the only woman alive…
Kim has a beautiful face but it’s lame to say she’s the hottest women alive – you’d have to see every women in the world to make that ignorant statement. I’ve seen other women as pretty as her. Look around – they’re everywhere!
But her body needs some serious work. She is a porker. Fake boobs, huge butt and thighs. I think the worse thing about her is she has no talent, she’s vacant and not smart, she dates black guys and she gets peed on.
Other than that, she’s hot. LOL
Drool all you want, cracker boys, but Kim is ALL OURS!!! Hahahahahahaha!!!!
she is just a typical fat american like 50% of the country
#135
I never make fun of Pam Anderson because of her charity work for Peta.org. Pam even agreed to be in a roast for Peta.Org. She had to sit there and take brutal jokes. Pam is a good sport and has a big heart. Kim you really need to redeem yourself and quit lying. Try doing some charity work too to improve your horrible skanky image. Also you are getting fatter and need to start eating better and exercise regularly.
thick girls are better to have sex with than skinny little bitches, period. Once I was having sex with this REALLY skinny girl and I swear I could see my penis thru her skin….as neat as that was, I’m much prefer some meat on my penis pop.
i don’t see how these pictures she posted are supposed to “convince” us of anything. every shot is from the front…or she’s sitting down…really? strange move, kimmy.
i don’t see how these pictures she posted are supposed to “convince” us of anything. every shot is from the front…or she’s sitting down…really? strange move, kimmy.
#148 you’re assuming intelligence. And I mean that in a TOTALLY respectful way towards kim, just like I would be totally respectful when I asked her if I could cut her a little……just a little, not to hurt her or anything….oh fuck I think I missed my medication today.