Kim Kardashian has taken umbrage with my clearly scientific debate regarding her buttpads. Check out her latest blog entry (NOTE: I took the liberty of un-editing all the a–’s. My replacements in italics.):
OMG! When will people get off my atrium, literally! Haha. I have said it a million times before and I’ll say it again: My booty is as real as the designer items I’m auctioning off on eBay.
The reason I bring this up is because those jokesters at the Superficial claimed that I wear foam panties. NOT TRUE! (And I don’t stuff ‘em with Charmin either).
I think my photo shoots clearly prove I don’t wear butt pads!
To all you non-believers at the Superficial, kiss my REAL and GORGEOUS amphitheater!
XOXO,
Kim
I’ve accepted Kim’s challenge and included the Ralph Lauren photo shoot she presents as proof of her natural assy-ness. Now on to the scrutiny!
Set 1: You’re either making the most valid argument in the history of debate or really have to pee. Analysis: Inconclusive.
Set 2: Do that underwear thing again. I can’t research in these conditions. Analysis: BOO!
Set 3: Ha! Mirrors don’t fool me. You’ve been hanging out with Criss Angel, haven’t you? Bad, Kim Kardashian! Bad! Analysis: Not convinced.
Set 4: Okay, now you’re just sitting on your butt. If you’re not going to take this thing seriously, I’m taking off my pants. Analysis: I need me a gypsy tent.
Set 5: Nipples will only get you everywhere. Analysis: Whatever she says is true.
Set 6: Are you trying to knock down that wall? No, wait, you gotta pee again. Lady, go easy on the Aquafina. Christ. Analysis: What were we talking about again? If it’s boobs, I’m all over it.
DIAGNOSIS: BUTTPAD!
Sorry, Kim, but hey, I’m a reasonable guy. You can invite me over to your house and we’ll make some science. Namely through the time-tested method of my hands/your butt.* But, remember, it’s all for the children. Those sweet, sweet children that I should probably wrangle up. Anyone got a net?
*Tears of joy emitted from The Superficial Writer do not invalidate claims of buttpad’s presence. The Superficial Writer also reserves the right to free said buttpad and use it as a decorative throw pillow in a room of his choosing. Buttpad may also double as a frisbee. Whee!
Seriously Kim you need a gym. What’s the excuse for the big thighs?
I realy love her. Kim is so sexy. She very very nice. Her eyes, body, breast, thai and everything is very very sexy. I want to love her.
OMG…you dickheads who are trying to hide your ugly dirty faces by bad mouthing and trying to make Kim look like a twat…Kim is the most beautiful, genuie and intelligent celebrity out there. She is vuluptous and sexy in every way imaginable. I can’t remember the last time I have seen someone as beautiful as her. She is perfection personified…she empitizes feminity….you lot are just jealous…that guy “eric” is JEALOUS BECAUSE HE ISN’T TAPPING THAT BEAUTIFUL CURVY ASS” and that “bitch” is jealous because she wishes she could be as beautiful as our Kims toes…dnt sit there and bare face lie. Kim is perfect!! KIM BABY IF YOU ARE READING THIS..I’M FROM LONDON ME AND MY BFF (bambi) ARE YOUR BIGGEST BIGGEST BIGGEST BIGGEST FANS….I LOVE U…ROCK IT…FLAUNT IT…EVERY BEAUTIFUL PERSON AS A FAN CLUB AND A HATE CLUB..THE MORE DICKHEADS HATE U THE MORE U KNOW U ARE PERFECTION…love u x xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
KIM KARDASHIAN TRIES ON CLOTHES, FONDLES HER BREASTS (THINK CHRISTMAS MORNING BUT ‘ASSIER.’)
http://www.newsoutdoor.net/kim-kardashian-tries-on-clothes-fondles-her-breasts-think-christmas-morning-but-assier.nod
Kim Kardashian has had more n.i.g.g.e.r d.ic.ks in her than the urinals at the Opollo Theater in Harlem!!!!
All you dumb mother fuckers need to shut the fuck up! seriously. stop talking shit. Dont be jealous and stop being fucking haters. All you ugly ass bitches just wish you had a life of the rich and fabulous. I love the Kardashians, all of them! they are so funny and really cute. so shut the fuck up and go stick you head up your stinky ass for all you skinny boney bitches! maybe your cellulite is up there! peace and love you fucking haters.
Sophie: Wouldn’t dare ladge mesell
Ellen: Narr lyk ked
Both: We fink dats fuckin rank n mingin. Wdf is it on da net, stoopid hoe.
That literally made me vomit, aswell as my cat!
You are all dispiccabl to say you actually ENJOY seeing someone like that?
I agree with Sophie and Ellen – Although I did not understand the lingustics, the message was clear; HOW VILE!!!!
I shall be writing to the board about sites such as this. Hopefully they can remove the pictures and videos splattered over our news stations and advertisements today.
Disgraceful!
Yo man dat bitch is a bitch skank, but wot a rack man. I wud luv to ride her all nite long man, shes fuckin hot, but she is a fuckin skanky bitch whore n deserves a cap popped in her @$$. ma homeboys agree n dat skank bitch needs taught how to show her stuf proper.
Respect, Kim.
Luvv you long time, skank. <3
Ricky from da hood x
I’d pee in her butt.
I peed in a horse once.
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Sakeena Joosub
The Kardashians ain’t shit, there not that hot, there not ugly, but they arent that good looking to where they should even HAVE A SHOW, i never watch it, and i think its soo stupid the people who do….The family has jungle fever, which is too bad for them…There soo fake…the sister cloeh or whatever is chunky, and kim isnt too skinny either….people need to get a life who watch this shit show…
The Kardashians ain’t shit, there not that hot, there not ugly, but they arent that good looking to where they should even HAVE A SHOW, i never watch it, and i think its soo stupid the people who do….The family has jungle fever, which is too bad for them…There soo fake…the sister cloeh or whatever is chunky, and kim isnt too skinny either….people need to get a life who watch this shit show…hopefully they dont get AIDS tho from there black b/f’s…not funny, but serious tho.
OH KIMBERY!!!! OH SWEET GORGEOUS KIMBERLY!!! MARRY ME & LET’S MAKE LOTS OF BABIES TOGETHER!!!!! WOW!!!! OH WOW!!!! YOU ARE SOOO GORGEOUS!!!!
OH KIMBERY!!!! OH SWEET GORGEOUS KIMBERLY!!! MARRY ME & LET’S MAKE LOTS OF BABIES TOGETHER!!!!! WOW!!!! OH WOW!!!! YOU ARE SOOO GORGEOUS!!!!
i think that plastic surgeries are becoming a routine procedure for very rich people ~
vanity leads to more plastic surgery procedures. people are becoming more conscious about their appearance ~~*