Kim Kardashian calls out The Superficial

May 30th, 2008 // 517 Comments

Kim Kardashian has taken umbrage with my clearly scientific debate regarding her buttpads. Check out her latest blog entry (NOTE: I took the liberty of un-editing all the a–’s. My replacements in italics.):

OMG! When will people get off my atrium, literally! Haha. I have said it a million times before and I’ll say it again: My booty is as real as the designer items I’m auctioning off on eBay.
The reason I bring this up is because those jokesters at the Superficial claimed that I wear foam panties. NOT TRUE! (And I don’t stuff ‘em with Charmin either).
I think my photo shoots clearly prove I don’t wear butt pads!
To all you non-believers at the Superficial, kiss my REAL and GORGEOUS amphitheater!
XOXO,
Kim

I’ve accepted Kim’s challenge and included the Ralph Lauren photo shoot she presents as proof of her natural assy-ness. Now on to the scrutiny!

Set 1: You’re either making the most valid argument in the history of debate or really have to pee. Analysis: Inconclusive.

Set 2: Do that underwear thing again. I can’t research in these conditions. Analysis: BOO!

Set 3: Ha! Mirrors don’t fool me. You’ve been hanging out with Criss Angel, haven’t you? Bad, Kim Kardashian! Bad! Analysis: Not convinced.

Set 4: Okay, now you’re just sitting on your butt. If you’re not going to take this thing seriously, I’m taking off my pants. Analysis: I need me a gypsy tent.

Set 5: Nipples will only get you everywhere. Analysis: Whatever she says is true.

Set 6: Are you trying to knock down that wall? No, wait, you gotta pee again. Lady, go easy on the Aquafina. Christ. Analysis: What were we talking about again? If it’s boobs, I’m all over it.

DIAGNOSIS: BUTTPAD!
Sorry, Kim, but hey, I’m a reasonable guy. You can invite me over to your house and we’ll make some science. Namely through the time-tested method of my hands/your butt.* But, remember, it’s all for the children. Those sweet, sweet children that I should probably wrangle up. Anyone got a net?

*Tears of joy emitted from The Superficial Writer do not invalidate claims of buttpad’s presence. The Superficial Writer also reserves the right to free said buttpad and use it as a decorative throw pillow in a room of his choosing. Buttpad may also double as a frisbee. Whee!

superficial

  1. Sheva

    I’d piss on your ass Kim, but I can’t piss long enough to cover it.

  2. zooboy

    first

  3. FIRST to savage that azzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  4. UglyPeopleSafaris

    Blargh

  5. Max Power

    She’s wearing a dress in the only picture that puts any emphasis on her ass. How is that supposed to prove anything? Until I see a candid bikini shot in which she’s not covering it with a fucking towel or whatever, I remain convinced that it’s padding. Also, her face looks especially haggard in this photo shoot.

  6. Ted

    Kim has a big fat ass and uses girdles, butt pads, and photoshop to improve her saggy butt. She is not fooling anyone. It is so obvious she wears a girlde with butt pads to hide her dimples and cellulite. Kim’s a big joke!

  7. Rick

    Pads or no pads, she’s a fucking porker. I’m sure the low class guys will go wild for her, but they’re so unintelligent that girls need to be cartoonish to grab their attention.

  8. Eric

    Who cares if she’s wearing pads? She fucks n iggers. Fuck her? I’d wipe my shoe on her after I stepped in dogshit, that’s all she’s good for now.

  9. dude_on_a_wire

    I agree with #5 – until we get the money shot all speculation remains.

  10. SKELETON

    DOESN’T PROVE A DAMN THING!!! NOT ONE GOOD SHOT OF HER ASS

  11. fygu

    Hey Kim since you’re reading this why did you get implants? You had nice boobs before? And why don’t any of the pics on your site show your ass in a bikini if it’s so real? And I don’t hate you, I just want you to prove it.

  12. hottest celebrity in the world but a LIAR

    She’s incredibly hot and beautiful, by far the hottest and most beautiful celebrity around, she kicks every Hollywood actress in the ass with her hotness and beauty. However she’s stupid for denying her plastic surgeries and the fact that she stuffs her ass. She’s a liar. I’ve seen pictures of her in which her ass is twice or even 3 or 4 times the size that it’s in others and the ass stuffing is sooo obvious, just like her fake boobs, lip injections and nose job, and the fact that she leaked her sex tape herself. Ver hot and beautiful but a big liar.

  13. Poozy

    She looks like a model for Lane Bryant. I would be embarassed to be photographed with thighs like that. And I am 45, just average, not jealous. She is exotic looking, but needs to exercise or stop feeding her face. Preferably both.

  14. Bethany

    Top picture – how can anybody say she doesn’t have saddlebag thighs? That picture belongs in Webster’s.

  15. miggs

    Kim, sweetie, every time you cover up your butt when wearing underwear or a swimsuit, you give us all the evidence we need.

  16. barf-o-rama

    i’ve read about all the junk that human garbage disposal hogs down every day.

    that corn flaked filled hefty bag IS her real ass.
    and it’s disgusting.

  17. veggi

    “She’s incredibly hot and beautiful, by far the hottest and most beautiful celebrity around”

    I’m quite sure a fat gypsy doesn’t deserve that title. How about we hear from the guys who make more than $30k a year?

  18. Is anyone else as shocked as I am that she can read?

    oh, #2 – you are a douche

  19. Alright everyone, this is a picture of Kim Kardashian’s bare ass, non-photoshoped, decide by yourselves:

    http://i28.tinypic.com/2lbhu7q.jpg

    I say huge fat deformed cottage cheese ass in an incredibly hot and beautiful lady. She doesn’t have a nice ass or a bubble butt, she just has a huge pile of deformed cottage cheese. I say it’s real because there’s no way that an ass that had been surgicaly enhanced would look so terrible when it’s bare, and I say yes, she does stuff her ass and wears buttpads, otherwise that buch of cottage cheese wouldn’t look the way it does when she wears those tight dresses.

  20. K

    I’d love to see how cut and fit some of you douchebags are that chat on here…sitting on your fat nerdy asses all day, type-tapping away and not exercising….she’s no Kate Moss but she’s the size of any average American woman (yeah, a little fatty…so the fuck what).

  21. beyond thickness

    Uhhh, the Sequoia National Forest called and they want their tree trunks back.

  22. Jackson

    I find it amusing that Kim only post Photoshop pictures of herself. If Kim had a big perky butt then she would be proud of it and show it off when wearing a swim suite at the beach and pool for the paps like the other celebrities, but instead she covers her ugly big cellulite butt with a sarong or towel. There is no doubt Kim has a big wide cellulite loose butt and wears body shapers, girdles, and butt pads to improve her butt and to hide her cellulite. I also suspect Kim is posting positive comments about herself and is upset when she reads the truth.

  23. Dudes….why all the Hate.

    Kim is a stunner. Lips, Eyes, Smile and yes of course…..everything else between her neck and toes.

    Call it like it is….she’s gorgeous. Ass or No-Ass, Implants or No-implants.

    Fact is….most all of you have had a “one-man puppet show” to her.

    Anyways, compared to skanks like Paris and Brittney…..Kim is angelic.

    It IS what it IS fellas!

  24. JimmyBachaFungool

    She is the only chick they I literally get an instant hard on from. I don’t need to touch it..nothing. I look, it starts with the little throb and then it’s raging.

    Thank you Kim for revealing yourself to us and thank you to your parents for making the ultimate exotic woman.

  25. lmao

    #17, I’m sure the guys who make more than 30k a year (like her boyfriend and everyone she’s fucked) would give their left nut to spend a night with her.
    She’s not fat, and, ‘gypsy’? wtf? it’s not her fault that you’re a flat asses pastry white chick and that no one ever looks at you. You know she’s at least 10 billion times hotter and more beautiful than you, so you must really have a low concept of yourself. Get over it.

  26. Poozy

    Are these pictures from before or after her celulite removal? Leg of lamb, anyone?

  27. lmao

    #17, I’m sure the guys who make more than 30k a year (like her boyfriend and everyone she’s fucked) would give their left nut to spend a night with her.
    She’s not fat, and, ‘gypsy’? wtf? it’s not her fault that you’re a flat assed pastry white chick and that no one ever looks at you. You know she’s at least 10 billion times hotter and more beautiful than you, so you must really have a low concept of yourself. Get over it, you won’t witness a woman half as hot and beautiful as Kim in your whole life.

  28. Auntie Kryst

    Whoohoo, confirmation that the Armenian Gypsy Tramp & Thief reads the Fish. Keem, I could care less about the but pad controversy, but why the fuck no response to you’re a filthy fat fuck truck? C’mon Goat Shepherdess, let’s hear it..

  29. Hanna

    I think she is pretty. Maybe all her pics are photoshopped but she doesn’t look fat to me.

  30. she's stunning

    Stuffed fake ass or not, cellulite or not, she’s insanely beautiful and THE HOTTEST WOMAN ALIVE

  31. Grace

    It ain’t real if it’s made of silicone. Who cares?

  32. bubba

    all i will admit is that she has a pretty face. nothing more.

  33. Outsized Schlong

    I don’t care how many angry closet gays post nasty things about one of the world’s Grande Derrières, Miss K still wins the confrontation with the TheSuperficial. However, in the spirit of inquiry I think further photographic evidence should be posted in sufficient volume to satisfy even the most titophobic fairy that the explicit charge of butt augmentation is false.

  34. Mississippi

    I feel sorry for the guy that had to “fix” her photos! I bet it took a lot of work!
    She’s obviously very insecure with her body, except with what she’s had fixed!
    I think natural beauty is something she knows nothing about!

  35. hacksaw

    I’d hit it.

  36. Pat

    If you’re a kinda dumb, low-rent type of guy, I’m sure Kim is your ideal woman, just like Bud is the best beer in the world.

  37. Mike

    my dick just exploded

  38. Dude

    that faggot perez hilton is a douchebag bitch

    Superficial RULES

    keep up the good work ( and by work I mean hot pieces of asstronomy like Kim)

  39. she's sooooooo fine

    #37 the only requirement for Kim to be your ideal woman is to be a straight man, enough said.
    And by the way, doesn’t it suck to be nobody’s ideal woman? you know, to never get looked at twice by any men, and having to diss the hottest woman in the world online in a sad attempt to make yourself feel better about your loser self?

  40. Gia

    Kim is only 5’3″ and must weigh around 155 pounds. This is huge for a person with a petite frame. I am 5’2″, have a petite frame, and weigh 105 pounds. I never go over 110 pounds because I am short and I would look like Kim which is a fat short chick. Sometimes I have to force myself to workout regularly, but I am always happy I did afterwards. Kim definitely relies on girdles with butt pads because just looking at her photo from #19 proves it. It is sad how fat people can be in denial instead of self improvement.

  41. she's soooooo fine

    Anyone who denies this bitch is OUTRAGEOUSLY HOT and one of the most beautiful women they’re ever seen is just a big jealous liar.
    If this isn’t hot, nothing is.

  42. In case any of you missed it the other day…….I am re-posting the link to the picture of Kim’s ass…….no airbrushing…….no photoshop. Just click on my name and enjoy.

  43. she's soooooo fine

    Anyone who denies this bitch is OUTRAGEOUSLY HOT and one of the most beautiful women they’re ever seen is just a big jealous liar.
    If this isn’t hot, nothing is.

  44. Angel

    Kim, there is such a thing as a tankini. You don’t have to be in a bikini. (http://i28.tinypic.com/2lbhu7q.jpg)

    Damn fat pig.

  45. The White Urkle

    Yes, I would suck her ass hole until her head caved in.

    Ted from LA can go fuck himself. Or go back to West Hollywoood and get felched from his boyfriend.

  46. still laughing

    Weeeeeellll… I think this pretty much proves once and for all the theory that most, if not all, positive comments about KK posted in previous threads were written by her or her cronies. That’s awesome. TALK about superficial…

  47. steve

    Whichever person from Kim’s staff is posting all these over-the-top compliments (and attacking other commenters), give it a rest. It’s obviously just one person, being paid by a very desperate fat girl.

  48. TRUTH

    YET SHE DOES NOT DENY BREAST IMPLANTS OR HER SUPER OBVIOUS NOSE JOB.

    THE BREAST IMPLANTS ARE LIKELY. SHE HAD BIG ONES AND MADE THEM EVEN BIGGER.

    THE NOSE JOB IS DEFINITE, 100% NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. THAT IS NOT HER ORIGINAL NOSE.

    THE ASS IS HERS. I BELIEVE THAT.

  49. muahahah

    #41 Kim fat? where do you see the fat man? look at the main pic and look at her stomach, she has some serious abs! wow, the first person with abs I hear being called fat. I wish every fat chick looked like this, then the world would be heaven. I’m sure she works out a lot more than you. She just has more leg, more ass, but that’s a good thing, that doesn’t make her fat. She’s the ultimate hourglass figure. I think you’re jealous because you could never have a body like that no matter how hard you tried.

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