Kim Kardashian stars in another porno. Sort of.

March 25th, 2009 // 59 Comments

The whole Kardashian clan is getting ready to sue the pants off Hustler for their latest spoof “Keeping it Up For the KardASSians”, according to TMZ. You’d think these people would embrace another porno considering their entire relevancy is based off of one. But, hey, I get it; they’ll stick with the reality show. Because those things are just full of dignity and grace.

Photos: Splash News
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  1. I cant think of a better familly to xxx spoof! I cant wait to see the part where the main stud, line up all of them and take dips…

  2. I will play the part of Kloe as long as I don’t have to pose naked for Peta

  3. K. Kardashian

    Hi, my name is Kim and what I do for a living is have an unusually large set of buttocks.

  4. I will play the part of Kloe as long as I don’t have to pose naked for Peta

  5. Pepe

    “Sluts & Bitches Unite”

  6. .

    Shut up SW. Most of your relevency is based of your coverage of this chick. You really are in no position to call her an oppertunist or Paris a parasite, considering your line of “work”

    Still luv ya! xoxo

  7. I didn’t double post, fish enjoyed my comment so much he posted it twice.

  8. No one would know who these idiots were if she hadn’t gotten peed on in some stupid sex tape! Seriously, just ’cause her Dad was an attorney – why are these idiots celebs? Being peed on should not qualify you to be a celeb!

    If you watch their idiotic TV show you are part of the problem and please kill yourself immediately.

  9. Ugh

    They mean the “LardAssians”

  10. Rick

    If by “oppertunist” you mean “aperturist” then I agree – Kim has made a career out of an aperture.

  11. Jrz

    Oh fuck them…they’re just pissed that they didn’t think of it first.

    and I won’t even touch what a hypocrit Kim is.

  12. Where's Darkwing Duck?

    @6
    Kim, if you don’t like it, don’t come here. Only fat girls with no self-esteem defend you. What’s really sad, is Paris was famous first & you tried to get on that train, but no luck. As horrible as Herpes Hilton is, she’s more well-known than you. Also, she’s the only fame-whore in her family unlike your ugly sisters, tranny-mom & old lesbian lookin step dad (who is famous for a good reason).

  13. Brian

    I love the monkey pole -Kk

  14. Fribble

    They have no chance in Hell.
    Larry Flynt already took Jerry Fallwell to the woodshed in Hustler and on this exact same issue the Supreme Court backed him up.
    Just another publicity stunt by the Tard-ASS-ians, err… Lard-ass-ians, err… oh, hell, you know what I mean!

  15. Richard McBeef

    if the porn doesn’t involve fat flabby asses, amazonian sasquatch bitches, industrial girdles, atomic pissing, and an undeserved sense of entitlement i am not interested. i want the movie to stay true to the book.

  16. .

    @12 Not Kim, just shit stirring ; )

    But by all means continue beleiving you are talking to minor celebrities.

  17. Where are the auditions? My Chinese name is Dik Hung Lo.

  18. From Overheard In New York

    Punk school girl: You know what would be really cool? If you took a shit, and then it started talking to you!
    Hipster friend: Yeah! Imagine if it started talking in a different language! Like, “Nihao! Ching gong shit!”

  19. Jrz

    Rich, I once knew a set of Chinese twins who were retarded. One was named Sum Ting Wong and the other one would sit in his crib all day throwing poop around. His name was Hu Flung Dung.

  20. GuyHolly

    #18 You’re all excited about the threesome with Kris and Bruce, aren’t cha!?!

  21. will you be able to read this?

    Olha o tamanho da bunda dessa vaca!
    não dá!

    posso mijar em você também, kim rolha de poço?

    lol

  22. #22 I can read it. I just don’t know what it means. Here’s one for you:

    Tengo un lapiz grande y amarillo and that’s the truth!!

  23. Jrz

    22–something about looking at the size of that fat cow that is Kim?

  24. KK GO AWAY

    KIM IS PROBABLY HAPPY ABOUT THIS. SHE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR PUBLICITY AND THIS WILL BRING HER JUST THAT.

  25. From Overheard in New York

    Small boy, singing to himself: Goodbye, everybody say goodbye… To Chris Brown…’cuz he smacked a woman and he’s going to jail.

  26. Smarg

    Stinky Armenian bitches.

  27. Sallyoolove

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    ___T a l l m i n g l e . c o m___ hot and sincere tall girlrs, young girls and handsome men there are much more attractive and charming!!!! search and find our own beauties today!!! lol

  28. Fuck U

    Hahahaa!!!! That was some good shit! Fuck them LardASSians, the only reason people know them is because of a fuckin sex tape so… so the fuck what?
    Fuckin Kim needs to STOP thinking she’s a REAL celebrity.
    Make another porno where you get gangbanged …taking it in three holes at once bitch and shut the fuck up! Once a whore…

  29. #20- Jrz, I knew a gay Chinese soup chef who’s specialty was Cream of Sum YungGai. He had a brother with erectile dysfunction issues… what was his name..? Oh yea, No Wok… Dik No Wok. He was more of a briefs kinda guy if you know what I mean…

  30. Jrz

    Rich, I knew a chinese dude who was addicted to Karaoke. His name was Sing Dum Song

  31. RichPort's Ghost

    I just want old Ray-J, or MC MuthaFucka, or whatever her ape ex-boyfriend’s name is, to come over and give me some of that darkmeat tubesteak.

    Whenever I watch that KK porno, I sit on my sofa eating Cheetos and drinking Mr. Pibb, while I squish MC Monkey’s black head between my fingers. I got that from Kids in the Hall. It’s a show from about 20 years ago, when I was 30 or so.

    Aren’t I just a loathesome little fucker? Yeah I know, but what’s a bald, pot-bellied, 50-year old virgin to do?

    Still, I have the 5-knuckle shuffle down to an art. So take that, you little meanies. And stop picking on me. If you don’t, I’m going to go to my happy place with unicorns and rainbows (and lots of Mr. Pibb).

    Sometimes I wish I had Kevorkian’s number on speed dial….

    RichPort’s Ghost, signing out.

  32. lol

    the kardashians love publicity, they got famous off of a sex tape but all of a sudden they care about the “squeeky clean image” they think they have like “OMG this porno filled with people who don’t even look like us is going to ruins us !” lol are they for real? I don’t know who would want to buy this porno anyways. Im sure the kardashians are suing for a portion of the profits, i doubt they are suing to have the tape stopped from being released, they never stopped kim’s tape from world wide distrubution !

    And why on earth is complex magazine calling kim “america’s sweatheart” ??? who gave her this title? are you kidding me???

  33. KK GO AWAY

    HER TITLE SHOULD BE PUBLICITY WHORE…WHERE WOULD THEY GET AMERICA’S SWEETHEART FROM? AMERICA CAN’T STAND THIS TALENTLESS WHORE.

  34. Me 2

    @14: Word. Not that I’m defending Hustler’s decision to make the KardASSians thing – I think it’s trashy and gross – but they have every constitutional right to do it. Clearly, the Kardashians have not seen The People vs. Larry Flynt.

  35. sportsdvl

    #37- panty crickets…its what you have for dinner, that with a scoop of clitty litter out of your 2 day old panties and a side of gobblecocky from the dog.

    now move along Danish internet porn star…no K9 lovers here on the SF.

  36. Garbageland USA

    yeah a fat ass whore let’s a nig piss on her and now her whole family feeds on fame and fortune.
    Awesomely dumbed down retarded nation of losers we are, eh?
    (mostly right wing imbeciles)

  37. ladodgers22

    The family should be happy because at least somebody out there wants to create a xxx DVD in honor of their hit reality show (just kidding). Unfortunately there’s somebody who really truly cares about them.

  38. Goober

    Kourt’s ass looks inviting.

  39. ileanita

    i think they’re all cute girls, except i guess khloe. but at least you can tell she’s trying! i bet reggie lovesss kim’s ass

  40. hairy testicles

    are they really this stupid? SPOOFS are not illegal. they are just throwing there money away. if there lawyers said there is a chance they may win, they might want to rethink there lawyers.

  41. PostmortemG

    Fantastic. I’m glad someone’s mocking these dumb hookers, as they deserve. Whenever i see K.K.’s dumb cock-sucking face, I’ll think of Keeping It Up For The KardASSians. No doubt I’ll get all warm and fuzzy inside. Go Hustler!

  42. Groucho

    In one of the “Keeping up with the Kardashians” episodes, porn star Bree Olson was in it playing a housekeeper/nanny. I guess the circle is nearing completion now, if only Bree Olson could have been in this porn parody.

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  44. I’m glad somebody is “HONEST” in hollywood,!!

  45. Nudgie

    Jrz -

    Did you know the Kardashian sisters’ fave Chinese food is “Cream of Sum Yung Gai?”

  46. Nudgie

    Jrz -

    Did you know the Kardashian sisters’ fave Chinese food is “Cream of Sum Yung Gai?”

  47. Nemo

    There was already a Kardashian-spoofing porn. Came out last year, called “Getting It Up With the Kardassians.” What, Venom’s allowed to do it, but once Hustler jumps on the band-wagon, Khloe has to put her enormous foot down?

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