Kim Kardashian, You’re Not Fooling Anyone: An Open Letter

September 22nd, 2008 // 258 Comments

Dear Kim Kardashian,

Recently, you stated on your blog that you weigh “right under 120 lbs.” Many commenters on The Superficial and on your site, before they were erased, rightfully cried “Bullshit!” (Including myself who, physically possessing half your mass, weighs 145 lbs). You soon added an update saying you would videotape yourself getting on a scale to silence the “haters.” However, you’ve since edited that update to say you’d slide yourself into a pair of size 27 jeans instead then posted a video of yourself doing just that.

Kim, this proves nothing. (Except that you have access to butter.) So, here’s my proposal to you to end these shenanigans once and for all:

I challenge you, Kim Kardashian, to walk into any department store and step on a scale in front of a random camera crew. I’d be more than happy to meet you there and show you how a scale works in case you’re not familiar with the process. What can I say? I’m a gentleman.

Should you weigh 120 lbs or less, I will write a post encouraging folks to vote for you on Dancing with the Stars provided you don’t get kicked off tonight. I will also concede that you don’t wear a buttpad. (Even though we both know the truth. *wink*)

Should you weigh 121 lbs or more, you will walk around with “The Superficial.com” written prominently on your spacious rear while traversing downtown LA – in a bikini.

Or you could simply come clean and admit you’re at least a buck forty. Ball’s in your court – unless Khloe ate it, in which case, I’ll FedEx over another one.

Sincerely,
The Superficial Writer

P.S. Thanks for reading the site!

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. oh shit. challenge extended!

  2. Waitaminute? Size 27 jeans? Isn’t that huge? I wear a 7, and I think I’m fat!!!

  3. This special post is brought to you, by bubblevision!!!!

  4. Yank and Wank - they rhyme for a reason

    This is getting beyond ridiculous – I mean the buttpad, she looks as is she is wearing a nappy underneath those leggings.

  5. nej22

    I am a little less then 120, I am also about 5’8” and am frequently called “a bean pole” or anorexic, depending on if you like me or not– anyway– there is no way she is 120 unless she is legit 4’11”– then MAYBE i would believe that shit– ps. superficial writer, you posts are hilarious you clever writer you!

  6. Courtney

    There’s no way in hell she weighs 120. I weigh that much and I’m a twig. Then again I don’t have a big fat ass.

  7. EvaV

    more expensive jeans run in different size than Jrs (if you are wearing an odd # sized pant then you are shopping in the jrs dept) a size 27 is about a size 4.

  8. If youre not built like kim you should be a size 0 Frist,,,

  9. She’s a filthy fucking LIAR!!! And I’m going to take a hacksaw to those ridiculous looking sockemboppers

  10. Adoration

    120lbs? That’s because the gravity in L.A. is totally different from the rest of the planet right? I knew it! I blame HALO (the giant ass collider out there) I bet you she was 145lbs ++++ before that damn thing went online.

  11. forrest hump

    I bet her ass by itself weighs 120 lbs

  12. Mike

    SUPERFICIAL WRITER

    What the hell you looking at? She got to be over 150. I am thinking like 155.

    Ass nice has to go already, she is ridiculous already, she ain’t fooling me or my horny dick. My dick doesn’t even fall for that fake ass.

    Come on, you could have at least in the challenge included, her wearing a thong, not just a bikini. One that has just a string up her ass crack so we can see that her ass is fake.

    If her ass is indeed real then I might have to agree with Superficial just a bit. Part of her might weigh 145, and that would be JUST her ass. Then her tits could weigh 2 pounds, 1 pound each, everybody knows she got the ass but no tits. Then the rest of her body weighs at least 10 pounds. Making her about 157, just what I predicted.

  13. Jessica

    Don’t bother sending it Fedex, it won’t show up and will be posted as “Delivered, left at door, not signature required”.

  14. RJR

    More proof that god is a cruel, malevolent, vindictive and violent bastard! Why else would this skank whore with a humongous fat lard ass be on the planet?

    KK is a nasty, filthy, greasy, self-important, self righteous, lard ass, mudshark with no talent whatsoever.

    There are better looking, more talented women with much better bodies everywhere! There is nothing special about this piss drinking whore!

  15. debagger

    I’d like to preface this post by stating KK is a stupid tramp urinal cake.

    Now, to the real issue: is she actually 120 pounds? It’s possible, if you take into factor her height (only 5’2″ or so). She does appear to be thick, but you have to also take into consideration that the disgusting fat blubber she possesses is less dense than muscle. So you, “in theory”, you could actually appear to be much smaller than this walking ad for Planned Parenthood, and still weigh the same amount.

    Thank you for taking your time to read this very scientific comment!

  16. debagger

    I’d like to preface this post by stating KK is a stupid tramp urinal cake.

    Now, to the real issue: is she actually 120 pounds? It’s possible, if you take into factor her height (only 5’2″ or so). She does appear to be thick, but you have to also take into consideration that the disgusting fat blubber she possesses is less dense than muscle. So you, “in theory”, you could actually appear to be much smaller than this walking ad for Planned Parenthood, and still weigh the same amount.

    Thank you for taking your time to read this very scientific comment!

  17. Goblinkatie

    While I agree there is no way in hell she’s 120, I honestly *almost* feeling bad for the gal. Folks have said some really nasty things on her site over the weight/pant size. (Yes I looked when it was first posted here, then I went and cried in the shower for an hour because the dirt wouldn’t come off.)

    Hell, most women lie about their weight or size at one point in their life and they were telling her she should die for lying to them. Creep-shows. On the other hand, why in the hell would you post your”measurements and weight” on an internet site and not expect people to freak out? It’s like slamming your face on a red stove eye and then being shocked that it was hot. Has no one told her that the interwebs are made for Trolls?

    I really, really, really hope she loses because dear God I’d love to see photos of her with the site name across her posterior. Why stop there though, there’s ample room for the site slogan and shot-outs for Geekologie and IWS. :p

  18. leah

    she’s so full of CRAP! I’m 5’3″ and weigh um a whole 105 and I wear a size 25, so her saying she can somewhat fit into a size 26 is unheard of. What a liar.

  19. leah

    she’s so full of CRAP! I’m 5’3″ and weigh um a whole 105 and I wear a size 25, so her saying she can somewhat fit into a size 26 is unheard of. What a liar.

  20. mag

    Her ass is huge, flabby and disproportionate. Plus I bet she stinks like a nasty slut who just fucked and sucked an entire football team.

    Kim! Go away!

  21. midge

    This is how she looks a lot of the time on her reality show – there are some shots from behind where she looks exactly like a Florida retiree. Just add the white low-cut tennis shoes.

  22. Goblinkatie

    Um #10, Halo isn’t in California. It’s at the CERN facility on the Swiss / French border.

  23. calypso

    I don’t know. She looks like she’s about 4’10″ compared to that car. I don’t see that monstrosity fitting into a size 27 though.

  24. forrest hump

    #15 That is impossible. I know alot of girls in the 5’2 range and they are much thinner than her and weigh over 110 and some are even close to 120. At 5’2 she has to be at least 150

  25. Jesse

    Check out the grease monkey staring at her ass! If he had a darker tan…who knows? Maybe he wouldn’t have to walk all the way to the employee bathroom…

  26. steve

    The “Oh Mr. Slave!” guy looking at her in the top pic is typical of the type of “man” who still finds her attractive (well, in addition to all the subhumans).

  27. Bertha

    I am the same height and build as Kim, but my breasts are real, and I just went to the doctor for a physical. I use to weight 145 but now I weigh 155 pounds, so Kim must weigh around 155 pounds. Kim’s big ass alone would not allow Kim to pull up size 27 inch waist jeans. I know I eat too much and I have a big fat ass and wear girdles like Kim so my ass looks perky, but I’m not going around lying about my weight or denying I wear a butt girdle. Some guys find me sexy and it works for me.

  28. Mia

    Everytime I see Kim in her butt girdle; I am relieved that I know when to push myself from the plate and do not have to rely on a butt girdle like Kim. Poor no talent worthless media whore Kim and her butt girdles and lying about her weight and having to do porn to become famous. Kim is a sad pathetic big fat loose ass celebrity.

  29. CaptainMorgan

    She won’t get voted off Dancing with the Stars. Her partner will have something ‘snap and pop’ during their routine. At the hospital, it will be realized that he’s in critical condition due to massive internal injuries. His only comments to the press will be this, “210.” Cryptic? Mysterious? Truthful? Hollywood legend.

  30. Camilla

    I wonder: why are you americans that obsessed with weight?
    Maybe because you have to hide your own shame of being the fattest nation in the planet? Is this the reason why you keep looking at famous people’s asses? Does it make you feel better, to know Kim has a giant ass?

  31. debagger

    #24 DO YOU?!

    Well… shit.

    We can’t know for sure, only speculate! And since when is it fun to take the obvious side?

  32. Nancy

    #21 lol!

    So true! So true. The only females I see wearing the obvious butt girdles are old ladies or ladies that had 2 or more kids lol!

  33. PunkA

    If Kim manages to stay on Dancing, my guess is that she looks pretty hot in 6 weeks or so because of all the exercising she will be forced to do. But as of today, I bet she weighs about 135+. She is short after all, and she would weigh less minus the massive butt pad. I mean, who knew you could have a butt pad placed inside spandex. Wonders never cease….

  34. desk dancer

    oh, this is awesome of you… SERIOUSLY…

  35. AirMail

    You guys have to stop putting thoses Kitty snacks out on the back steps. I know shes a cute little thing, but one day it will be cold out, and you will let her in. The next thing you know, the bed smells like piss, and you have something itching you that may or may not be fleas…

  36. FAT!

    I hate to get into the whole “let me post my weight/height on this site to prove kim k’s a fat whore” thing, but I really don’t think she weighs 150. She sure sure as hell doesn’t weigh 120 or less, for sure, but taking it to 150 is going overboard. And, to join in the clan of stating sizes and such, I’m 5’7″ and weigh around 150 or so (FAT!), and I know if she weighed 150 at 5’2″ she’d look way bigger than she looks in those pics.

    I’m guessing she weighs around 130-135? But 117…no. Just no. I watched that stupid video of hers where she’s squeezing into these 27 jeans and all I could think is, “This bitch is famous for what again?” Seriously, to have to post a lame video of yourself trying to fit into these tiny ass jeans to prove you’re not a fat slob is fucking stupid. And pointless. Pointless because, no matter what size you wear, Kim, you’re still fat to us.

    FAT!

  37. jerZeygirl

    I am 5’4 btw 120-130, all muscle. People assume I weigh no more then 110. I wear a size 25 in some jeans (sevens, citizens) and a 26 in others (Hudson) so I would have to say that A. Kim is lying 2. She is trying to stretch jeans cuz she could NEVER fit into a 27 Citizens or Seven or Hudson D. Who really cares how much she weighs? Her fake tits and fake ass alone weigh at least 80lbs. You have to admit that she is skinner then 90% of the American woman population.

  38. jerZeygirl

    I am guessing she is about 135 with no muscle what so ever.

  39. Doc

    #37

    70 percent of Americans are 30 pounds or more overweight like Kim. The word skinnier does not fit when using Kim’s name in the same sentence. Kim is a large woman or plus size woman and she weighs around 155-160 pounds. Kim has proved that she has no problem lying and does it very well.

  40. fuck

    Wonderful. Now all the preachy fat girls who were braying about “respect!” on the Barker broiled wiener story and “racism!” on the Dutch monkey story will be disclosing their personal body-image stories, in great detail, for the entire overnight. It’s not like they’ll be interrupted by getting laid, although they might take a short break to replenish the Häagen-Dazs or clog the toilet.

  41. republicant

    Dear Kim, you are soooooooooooooooooooo boring! Just think, if you didn’t have that giant ass, no one would know who you are. You’re famous because you have a huge ass…wow, congratulations, what an accomplishment to be a big assed media whore. And no, I’m not jealous of you. I’m just sick of seeing your stupid face everywhere along with those tards Heidi and Spencer! *BARF*

  42. toe

    I just don’t understand why anyone would even want an ass that big? Curvy girls are hot, I got that, but that just ain’t right. Does she think she gets attention cause people think she has a nice ass? I think maybe everyone, including myself, just wants to know what the hell she stores back there? A small family is my best guess…

  43. toe

    I just don’t understand why anyone would even want an ass that big? Curvy girls are hot, I got that, but that just ain’t right. Does she think she gets attention cause people think she has a nice ass? I think maybe everyone, including myself, just wants to know what the hell she stores back there? A family of four is my best guess…

  44. toe

    sorry had to correct the small family to family of four…minimal.

  45. Bill Clinton

    She’s 120 KILOS!
    not pounds!

  46. tara

    am i the ONLY one who noticed the crazy cameltoe?!?

    sorry if that got posted multiple times, it didn’t seem to be working.

  47. FAT!

    #42

    That’s ’cause she’s into black guys. Black guys like humonguous/weird-shaped asses. Kim likes black cock so she had to find a way to attract ‘em.

  48. Kim's fart

    BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP!!!

    Oh good lord, thank goodness I finally made it out! I’ve been trapped in that thing forever. What fucking year is it, anyway?

  49. Shes so beautiful.

    Too bad she has such a propensity for dark meat.

  50. On the video of her trying on jeans:

    Size 27 my ass.

    Sue, there’s no editing tricks in that video, but what about sewing tricks? Just buy a few pairs of size 27s, bust out a needle and thread, and voila, your size 500s just became size 27.

    Case closed. I support the department store scale challenge.

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