Kim Kardashian, You’re Not Fooling Anyone: An Open Letter

Dear Kim Kardashian,

Recently, you stated on your blog that you weigh “right under 120 lbs.” Many commenters on The Superficial and on your site, before they were erased, rightfully cried “Bullshit!” (Including myself who, physically possessing half your mass, weighs 145 lbs). You soon added an update saying you would videotape yourself getting on a scale to silence the “haters.” However, you’ve since edited that update to say you’d slide yourself into a pair of size 27 jeans instead then posted a video of yourself doing just that.

Kim, this proves nothing. (Except that you have access to butter.) So, here’s my proposal to you to end these shenanigans once and for all:

I challenge you, Kim Kardashian, to walk into any department store and step on a scale in front of a random camera crew. I’d be more than happy to meet you there and show you how a scale works in case you’re not familiar with the process. What can I say? I’m a gentleman.

Should you weigh 120 lbs or less, I will write a post encouraging folks to vote for you on Dancing with the Stars provided you don’t get kicked off tonight. I will also concede that you don’t wear a buttpad. (Even though we both know the truth. *wink*)

Should you weigh 121 lbs or more, you will walk around with “The” written prominently on your spacious rear while traversing downtown LA – in a bikini.

Or you could simply come clean and admit you’re at least a buck forty. Ball’s in your court – unless Khloe ate it, in which case, I’ll FedEx over another one.

The Superficial Writer

P.S. Thanks for reading the site!

Photos: Splash News