Kim Kardashian is the reason for the season

October 30th, 2007 // 175 Comments
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I debated whether or not to look at these photos of Kim Kardashian’s Playboy shoot. I was kind of hoping to see them for the first time on Christmas morning. You know, the snow is falling outside. The tree is sparkling and lit up. The whole family is abuzz with holiday cheer. I’ll take a seat near the fireplace and open up to Kim Kardashian’s photos. “Look, Grandma, a nipple! Can you believe it?” As I sip from my mug I’ll call for the children because only their innocent eyes can tell me if Kim Kardashian’s ass truly is a portal to the magical world of Narnia. Sure their parents might call the police and Aunt Sarah’s Nativity scene gets broken in the scuffle. But, darn it, that’s what the holidays are all about. Family. Oh yeah, and also sweet, heavenly asses surrounded by white fur. That too.

The photos below are totally NSFW. Unless your boss is super cool, or perhaps he’s, I dunno, Jesus. Then click away.

EDIT: Sorry guys, had to take it down.

superficial

  1. nipolian

    In pic 2 you can see the razor burn from where they shaved all the hair off her ass prior to the photo shoot.

  2. havoc

    She may be photo-shopped but I still bang the living hell outta her all night long. Whether its the face you fuck or the fuck you face. Its all good.

  3. Jesse

    #50 – you’re 100% correct (but only your second line).

  4. MindRiot

    Sand dollars.
    I knew it.

  5. tanya

    Do women not have vaginal lips anymore? When did this happen?

  6. Pooper Pounder

    Something seems seriously wrong with her ass on pic #6

  7. Jesus Christ

    Doesn’t look nearly as good as she does dressed, what went wrong?

  8. Flavio

    now she needs to pose naked with her sisters. mmmm.

  9. mkell

    @56: Looks like it’s been painted with dazzle patterns. You know, like they used to do on battleships to break up the outline and confuse u-boats.

    I dunno, this whole thing is a little disappointing. I mean, this was the best they could do?

  10. Lisa

    Sorry, but I still dont understand Ass implants……. Why?

  11. Eva

    OH I’m disappointed. I was looking forward to this, but she looks better with her clothes on and without airbrush.

  12. Snarky McComments

    I’d cancel my Playboy subscription if I had one…..

  13. veggi

    I don’t want to click. I wonder what Britney’s doing right now.

  14. Tea Bagger

    I can’t WAIT to get this issue… and read about Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverstein: A Love Story!

    Oh, and masturbate furiously to thoughts of me playing Butt Darts with Kim’s giant brown bullseye.

  15. beesknees

    Sure she’s pretty. But it’s pretty pathetic that people call her “the complete package”..how laughable. Would you want your mom or your sister displayed like this? This is a girl who gets peed on during sex for all the world to see. If that’s your definition of the complete package than you don’t live in reality. Especially since we all know how airbrushed these pictures are. You must be so lonely waiting for something that doesn’t exist.

  16. veggi

    Nevermind. I know what Brits doing. She’s reading this and is frantically looking for a brush that paints air.

  17. beesknees

    #50 just made for sex LOL!! That pretty much sums it up.

  18. Wow. It might just be that I watch way too much America’s Top Model. But those are awful awful photos.

  19. NewOrleansNegroSwimleague

    # 39…. I think you got it right…..She’s a mud shark

  20. Macaque

    Doesn’t even look like her.

    And Black Barbie, you don’t know shit about white boys.

  21. Geez – you could airbrush my ass and it’d look BETTER than hers!

    *snaps*
    *tosses head*

  22. Anon

    Anybody got any higher quality scans of these?

  23. One-hand Specialist

    Wait, this issue features a story on Norman Mailer? (yup, I “read” Playboy). Nice to see that Hef is keeping up with the times.

  24. James

    booooooring pics

  25. @71 thanks for covering for me troll. You must be a female. That is a nice ass and a nice rack.

  26. leelee

    In the second to last photo it looks like someone seriously Photoshop-ed her vagina, and it looks incredibly weird…
    Didn’t she say the playboy shoots we’re going to be more about showing her breasts than anything else? I feel like there’s less nipples than anything else.

  27. 63474

    Very hot chick, really great bod, but both her boobs and ass are soooo fake and look like that thanks to a plastic surgeon.
    She’s so fake though, and I don’t mean her body, I mean herself. I hate when she says her ass is natural when she knows it’s sooo fake and plastic surgeried LOL, what a liar and a fake. Nothing wrong with plastic surgery hon, you know if it wasn’t thanks to it you wouldn’t have the body you have, not even close, so stop lying and being such a fake.
    It’s like her sex tape… she is the one who made it “leak” and made sure it was sold to porn companies, and then pretended she had nothing to do with that and that she didn’t want it to be released to the public, and sued the porn company who sold it. Funny how not even a month after it was released she dropped her lawsuit against that porn company after they gave her $$$. It was all planned.
    She’s such a fake. And if there’s a second part of her sex tape, it’s the same bullshit, she makes it all “leak” herself.
    Fake ass, fake boobs, fake person.

  28. PunkA

    Where is Jay-Z? I thought he was peeing on her in this?? Wrong spread? Huh. I didn’t realize she appeared naked anywhere without getting peed on by Jay-Z. Like her personal rule to live by.

  29. chaim ben pesach

    “Once you’ve gone black we don’t want you back”

  30. No Talent Famous People Pose for Playboy

    Usually when a celebrity lacks talent; they pose for Playboy or release a sex video tape.

  31. Jimbo

    Am I first?
    I am such a fucking moron i cant tell

  32. nipolian

    #76 Of course it looks wierd – they erased it……flapping lips, herpe scars and all.

  33. Fumus

    Kim for president.

  34. Andrew C

    Man I would bury my head in that ass. If I suffocate, oh well… I die happy.

  35. Allie

    What is with the shaved snatches??? She looks like she has the pu$$y of a 7 year-old girl. Yuck.

    Otherwise, she actually looks pretty hot- but taking into the consideration her plastic body and the major post-editing, I think Playboy could make ANY chick look hot.

  36. veggi

    I think these pictures are making people crazy – is that TT trolling Jimbo at #71???

  37. das

    I know she is photoshopped here, but in real life that is the ideal woman figure. All the fat girls beware.

  38. Andrew C

    @85… uhh… Allie, hate to break your bubble sweety, but if you ever want to have a guy go down on you it’s best not to look like sasquatch down there. Nobody wants to choke up furballs.

  39. nipolian

    Mmmmmmm………furballs.

  40. Nice to see that they photoshopped out her stretched out, over-sized nipples ….She also appears to have a waxed ass…yuck….She’s looked better in clothes….This is kinda lame.

  41. veggi

    86- shaadap!

    Where’s BRITNEY!

  42. i thought it was all going to be implied nudity but they sneaked in some better shots

  43. Andrew A

    Allie, never mind what my retarded brother (#88) said. Only guys with homosexual tendencies think a natural pussy is nasty. They need it completely shaved so that they can pretend a nice pink cock is sticking out for them to suck.

  44. matt

    How come no one mentioned anything about those stretch marks on the mag cover? Imagine what her non-photoshopped butt looks like.

  45. Lysol

    I wouldn’t waste my piss on that

  46. Zoostation

    A Zoostation exclusive on these pics.

  47. Erin

    Yay for #24. I’ve always ridiculed that term — “empowering.” Jenna Jameson used that as her defense behind doing porn…that it was “empowering.” If she was so empowered and strong, she certainly wouldn’t be in the condition that she’s in today! Same goes for Pam Anderson. Girl looks a mess, and obviously isn’t very fulfilled in her life since it always seems that she’s looking for something other than what she has.

    But to my point: I love how these kinds of women rely on “empowering” to try and blind themselves from the insufferable shame that they’ve wrought on their family and any self-respecting woman around. “Empowering” really is a facade for “male-relient self-esteem”; anything but empowered. These women are a dime a dozen — you find them primping for hours on end so that guys will notice them in a bar, waxing and lasering any surviving follicles of hair on their netherregions so that guys will report them as “satisfactory” in bed, starving themselves to bones, tanning themselves to leather, and kicking their legs up on a pole in a club while wearing a short skirt and no underwear in the hopes that some guy — no matter the grade — will look. I find more and more, however, that some men regret what society has done to its women, and would much rather have a classy, beautiful woman on their arm that they can be proud of.

    It seems that women hold other women down more these days than anyone else.

  48. veggi

    95 ahahahahahaha!! goodun!

  49. danielle

    Im a bisexual girl and i think the photos look good, yes they are probably 95% airbrushed and imperfections erased but thats a playboy magazine. the woman has to look good!! I would rock kim anyday. Nice pussy! X

  50. JJ

    Hmmm, is it just me or does she look like a 60 yr old mom who’s had a shitload of facial surgery?
    Something doesn’t look quite right.

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