Kim Kardashian is not engaged

January 3rd, 2008 // 42 Comments

Kim Kardashian is not engaged to football star Reggie Bush, according to Us Magazine:

Reality star Kim Kardashian, 26, tells Usmagazine.com that she didn’t make it official with NFL running back Reggie Bush, 22, over the weekend in Miami, despite an OK! magazine report.
“It’s not true,” she tells Us. “Not yet!”

What no one knows is that Reggie Bush did try to propose to Kim Kardashian. Except when he got down on one knee, Kim wasn’t paying attention and swung her battleship ass into Reggie’s head. Sources tell me the Kardashians have him secretly stored in an underground hospital where they’re hoping scientists can “unsplatter his face.”

Photo: Getty Images
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Comments (42)

  1. dallas | January 3, 2008 at 9:37 am

    first!!!!

    Reply
  2. jose | January 3, 2008 at 9:37 am

    first?

    Reply
  3. big | January 3, 2008 at 9:42 am

    Nice Bazookas

    Reply
  4. FACE | January 3, 2008 at 9:46 am

    I would still lick her entire ass crack – while she was farting.

    Reply
  5. mcbeef | January 3, 2008 at 9:48 am

    fourth!

    Reply
  6. D. Richards (Derelict.) | January 3, 2008 at 9:49 am

    See, now I must have read a different article than Ficial did, because the article I saw, said that Kim’s ass ‘swallowed Reggie’s face and scalp’, burped, then fell asleep. The article also said that the underground ‘hospital’ is run by Armenian gypsies.

    Reply
  7. patty82 | January 3, 2008 at 9:49 am

    Oh, is that true? Kim Kardashian is single again. Right, I viewed her profile on a community bimingle.commm, which is free dating and meeting for bisexual. But can’t make sure. I will check it later. Maybe it has something to do with it.

    Reply
  8. Auntie Kryst | January 3, 2008 at 9:53 am

    Keem! Keem no no do not say no to Reggie. You must marry heem! Reggie, the strong chocolate covered man will protect your family from the invading Turks. The Turks Keem! Zay are coming Keem run run.

    Reply
  9. Rabbi Schiller | January 3, 2008 at 9:56 am

    As if fucking them isn’t shameful enough, she now nearly marries a negro?!

    Reply
  10. joeypants | January 3, 2008 at 9:57 am

    She’s very pretty, don’t get me wrong, but I think she’s gonna blow up. In two years she’s gonna be pushin’ 300 lbs…

    Reply
  11. havoc | January 3, 2008 at 10:02 am

    I would engage her right in the old chocolate starfish…..

    .

    Reply
  12. wasku | January 3, 2008 at 10:11 am

    13!!!!

    Reply
  13. Ript1&0 | January 3, 2008 at 10:12 am

    Dude, anyone who hangs out with or dates her has to sign the “Five Foot Perimeter” contract. This is for their safety only, to protect them whilst the Kim is turning. It clearly states in clause four that if one were to propose to Kim, they would need to give ample warning time for the ass to dock itself.

    Kim prefers an automatic over a manual docking.

    Reply
  14. jen | January 3, 2008 at 10:12 am

    ”Unsplattter” is officially my new favourite word ever.

    Reply
  15. BaconMessiah | January 3, 2008 at 10:16 am

    Football player dates woman with head shaped like football. Leave it at the office Reggie!

    Reply
  16. bangthegenius | January 3, 2008 at 10:16 am

    “I would engage her right in the old chocolate starfish…..”

    #11, that is hilarious!

    Reply
  17. Gerald Tarrant | January 3, 2008 at 10:21 am

    Kim is actually looking for a man who will pee on her. Reggie just can’t get the job done.

    Reply
  18. Racer X | January 3, 2008 at 10:32 am

    Excellent.

    Kim K. > All

    Reply
  19. sportsdvl | January 3, 2008 at 10:46 am

    #1 & 2, both total losers. You both probably like being peed’ on like Kim K.

    #7 – seriously, do you believe any moron will go to that stupid site ’cause you spam this board?

    Reply
  20. heidi | January 3, 2008 at 10:56 am

    Yes, she is not engaged! But many people on interracialloving.com – a dating club- believe she will marry Bush this year. I found many photos of Kardashian and Bush there, it seems she love him very much.

    Reply
  21. Realist | January 3, 2008 at 11:00 am

    Duh. OK is COMPLETELY unreliable. I’m just waiting for the headline: “Lindsay and Paris have threesome with Lochness monster.” Although it’d be a step up from the guys they usually date if it actually existed. Probably would be a step down for the monster, though.

    Reply
  22. Josh Simpson | January 3, 2008 at 11:37 am

    In as little as five years she’s gonna look so busted and saggy. It’s so obvious already.

    Reply
  23. so many raging jealous bitches on here... | January 3, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    She’s soooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot.

    I’m amazed at all the jealous bitches on this site.
    You so wish you could be slightly near as hot and beautiful as she is for one day in your lives, you’d kill for it, but you never will, hence the reason why you hate her. Oh, and because you know everytime your boyfriend looks at a picture of her his dick gets rock hard and he feels sorry for himself for having a chick like you as a girlfriend instead of one like Kim.

    Reply
  24. Frank | January 3, 2008 at 12:10 pm

    Man this chick has to be one of the hottest girls on this planet. I would love to use her ass as a pillow.

    Reply
  25. hahaha | January 3, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    #6 & 8

    You are the same person, you probably are a KKK member who lives in a trailer in a farm or in a trailer in some lost small town with no more than 100 hicks in it who all live in trailers in some lost shit state in the middle of nowhere. You stink, you should stop drinking so much beer and change and wash your stinky stained flannel plaid shirt and your hazardous stinky stained shit redneck jeans once every 4 months at least. Washing yourself once a month wouldn’t hurt either.

    Reply
  26. Dan | January 3, 2008 at 12:24 pm

    She’s sooo fucking hot

    Reply
  27. D. Richards (Sociopath.) | January 3, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    Shit, 25. If Dick lived in a ‘hick’ town, you better believe he’d be the fucking Mayer. Dick would be the sheriff. He’d kill without mercy. With his genius, fuck.. You know it.

    Dick would send all of the white-trash mother-fuckers to his concentration camp where they would be forced at gun point to make Martin Luther King, Jr. memorabilia; he’d sell all of the towns Nascar collectables, burn their trailors, and build a casino; employing Mexicans.

    Dick would keep the prettier underage no-tooths though. Somebody has to suck his cock, and wipe his ass. Dick wipes for no man.

    Auntie Kryst. ‘Turks’. Ha!

    Reply
  28. Auntie Kryst | January 3, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    @25 I’m not a member of the KKK, the dues were a bitch. I freelance hate now.

    Reply
  29. 10pound | January 3, 2008 at 1:03 pm

    Whats wrong with living in a trailer and being in the KKK? Am I missing something?

    Reply
  30. Crockett | January 3, 2008 at 1:55 pm

    I’d bag the fuck out of that until Armageddon but I’d probably have to undergo special treatments to change my skin tone since she only seems to like the dark meat.

    Try expanding your horizons Kim, you still hittable buxom attention-whore!

    Reply
  31. someone else | January 3, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    #25 that’s fucking hilarious!

    Reply
  32. Shaun | January 3, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    WHAT IS THIS WEBPAGE ABOUT I HAVE NO IDEA I WAS DOING A HELTH REPORT WHEN THIS CAME UP AND I FELT LIKE I HAD NO LIFE WHEN IT DID ,NO HARD FELLINGS- SINCERY ,SOMEONE WITH A LIFE OUTSIDE A CELEBRITY WEBPAGE

    Reply
  33. stephanie | January 3, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    She is really beautiful, but with all her looks, money, and fame… her dress should be fitting her better than that. Not saying not to show the cleavage, but I hate the way the right side is really messed up. Pretty dress, though!

    Reply
  34. stephanie | January 3, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    her right side, not ours.

    Reply
  35. D. Richards (Pedo.) | January 3, 2008 at 9:18 pm

    #32? Shawna, you really think that being in the seventh-grade equates to having a ‘life’?

    Riding in the passenger seat of your single-mother’s Toyota Camry is cool nowadays? Aren’t you slightly embarrassed? I would be.

    Look, you’re doing a goddamn book report. Children do book reports, champ. I haven’t done a book report since I was (thirteen) old enough to smoke.

    Can you even orgasm yet? Fuck, man, virgin’s are not cool; unless they’re female, and ovulating. Are you ovulatintg, shawna?

    What-an asshole.

    Reply
  36. gerard Vandenberg | January 3, 2008 at 11:05 pm

    IS THERE A CHANCE OF A PRIVATE MEETING SOME DAY?
    …………………just any meeting!!

    Reply
  37. charle | January 3, 2008 at 11:18 pm

    i don’t think she is beautiful, but many friends from sugarmommymeet.com said she is good. for god sake i don’t know the reason, but i think they are reasonable for i know they are picky. you know it is a site where rich women can seek young cute men and men can find extramarital affairs….and they are beautiful and charming….

    Reply
  38. CMAN | January 4, 2008 at 3:35 am

    Reggie will not marry Kim, he will follow in the great USC traditon and marry a Hot Blonde White-girl and then kill her in a jealous fit of rage.

    Reply
  39. Who Do | January 7, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    Who IS Kim Kad . . . Whatever?

    I’ve never heard of her before.

    Is she on Heroes? Did she take Katie’s place on the Evening News? Or is she another make-believe-celebrity?

    Reply
  40. candie | January 9, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    TO ALL YOU RACIST COCK SUCKERS YOU WISH YOU WERE REGGIE INSTEAD OF POOR TRAILOR TRASH. THE REASON SHE MOST LIKELY GOES FOR DARK MEAT AS YOU CALL IT IS BECAUSE VERY FEW AND I DO MEAN FEW WHITE MEN HAVE ANYTHING FOR A GIRL TO WORK WITH. A DICK THE SIZE OF A NEW BORN IS NOT WHAT SHE OR ALOT OF OTHER WOMEN WANT. AS FOR THE SO CALLED RABBI WHO WANTS TO FUCK A DIRTY NON BATHED JEW ANY WAY GO FUCK YOURSELVES OR THE ANIMALS YOU ALL ARE NONE FOR FUCKING ESPECIALLY WHITE WOMEN.THAT MEANS YOUR MOTHERS. DONT BOTHER REPLYING THIS SITE SUCKS BUT ALL OF YOU WOULD KNOW ABOUT SUCKING.

    Reply
  41. candie | January 9, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    TO ALL YOU RACIST COCK SUCKERS YOU WISH YOU WERE REGGIE INSTEAD OF POOR TRAILOR TRASH. THE REASON SHE MOST LIKELY GOES FOR DARK MEAT AS YOU CALL IT IS BECAUSE VERY FEW AND I DO MEAN FEW WHITE MEN HAVE ANYTHING FOR A GIRL TO WORK WITH. A DICK THE SIZE OF A NEW BORN IS NOT WHAT SHE OR ALOT OF OTHER WOMEN WANT. AS FOR THE SO CALLED RABBI WHO WANTS TO FUCK A DIRTY NON BATHED JEW ANY WAY GO FUCK YOURSELVES OR THE ANIMALS YOU ALL ARE NONE FOR FUCKING ESPECIALLY WHITE WOMEN.THAT MEANS YOUR MOTHERS. DONT BOTHER REPLYING THIS SITE SUCKS BUT ALL OF YOU WOULD KNOW ABOUT SUCKING.

    Reply
  42. ed hardy plus | December 24, 2009 at 3:32 am

    Got news for you buddy, for the originator of this slam against will and Scientology. You ARE Darth Vader.

    Reply

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