Kim Kardashian hearts fitness

April 10th, 2009 // 81 Comments

Here’s some behind-the-scene photos from Kim Kardashian’s upcoming workout video where she extols the three most important virtues of teaching physical fitness:

1. Show lots of cleavage. (Couldn’t agree more.)
2. Wear black pants in low lighting because, honestly, who’s going to look at that bulbous butt and say “Goddamn, I wish my thighs were bigger”?
3. Never shoot below the waist except from over there. Way over there. No, seriously, dude, hop in the golf cart, and we’ll hit you on the walkie.

Then, of course, there’s the final tenet: Duct tape a pillow to a stunt double’s ass. I’m pretty sure that’s an old Jane Fonda trick. True story.

superficial

  1. PostmortemG

    “Seriously, who the hell works out with weights that light? Women need to get over their fear of “bulking up.” I lift “heavy” weights and it only makes me leaner and more feminine… not bulky and masculine!”

    This is very true. Take note, ladies: you’ll only get ripped and bulky like a guy if you ‘supplement’ your weight-lifting with male hormones, which those freaky she-man body builders use to look the way they do. Lifting weights and eating correctly, etc. will only tone your body and make you look delicious. =D

    Je$u$ Chri$t! How much weight is K.K. using?! Unless you’re a bedridden cripple slowly trying to regain the use of your limbs, those tiny weights won’t do shit. K.K., not only are you *WORTHLESS*, you’re spreading misinformation to others who sincerely want to get in shape. Get teeth knocked out of your face, whore.

  2. Jamie's Uterus

    The previous post about this piss bitch was her calling out that wacko Octomom, and she’s shoving cotton candy faster than a big black dick. Now, she’s doing a exercise video?

    Enough with this vile cunt already.

  3. so-calist pigs

    Why isn’t anything posted about MOBama bowing before Sau-di Ara-bia’s King Abdullah? In their country they see that as weekness…perhaps ?…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WlqW6UCeaY

    How about Hill-a-ry Rotten Cliten laughing at the “pirate” situation while the captains life may be over any moment? Shouldn’t we call them what they really are? Not some fictional romanticized name? Or is that not pc?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii_c3B5AasI

    This is a sign of what’s ahead for all of us….weakness and bigger government deciding our standard of living. So all the fools that voted for this man better be prepared for our standard of living to change for the worse. I was born in a socialist country and can tell you it DOES NOT WORK …and trust me…most Americans have no clue because they have no point of reference. We gave up everything to come here for a better life and my heart is breaking about where this country is headed. MOBama is literarly bankrupting us while our opportunities are being replaced by mediocrity and most Americans don’t even see it happening . Please educate yourself and don’t let it slip away.

  4. Em

    Is she supposed to be doing downward-facing dog in pic 7? Who does yoga while wearing gym shoes??

  5. ukf

    and theres nothing better after a tough physical workout than a nice warm golden shower.

  6. BASTARDLY SUCKS

    Chubby bitches like kim rely on shapewear. Even when working out! Who the hell wears a fucking huge BELT to the gym, apart from dumb cunts with excess flabby stomachs they dont want to expose. She might as well have worn a fucking corset and girdle too. I for one wont be buying this ‘workout dvd’, since i already have the kind of hot skinny body Kim only wishes she could have, but will never have on account of having fat genes and a penchant for junk food/ fucking black guys. Lucky me!

  7. The Rock

    What?!!! There is no Cameltoe shown (nor enhanced) in the promo pictures? WTF – do they want to loose money? Where is the details of the rest of her!!!!?

  8. nelson muntz

    Whoever edits this site is a revolting piece of smelly shit. STOP POSTING THIS USELESS CUNT. And you’re not witty, sorry. Far from it. HA HA.

  9. Winston

    @51

    You write true stuff about Kim with a hillarious twist lol!

    **********************************************************************************
    Unless you’re a bedridden cripple slowly trying to regain the use of your limbs, those tiny weights won’t do shit. K.K., not only are you *WORTHLESS*, you’re spreading misinformation to others who sincerely want to get in shape. ***********************************************************************************

    Also Kim’s arms and bottom legs look atrophied.

  10. Natalie

    #18 Jessica, a lot of women do carry heavier weights and are strong and healthy. We already have men putting us down and lumping us into one group, don’t join them. Don’t stereotype women like that, it’s insulting.

  11. Confused

    Why isn’t this released released as soft core porn video? Why do they disguise it as a workout video? She’s already done the porn, so it’s not like it’ll be a shock to anyone.
    I admire Kim for her ability to sell her ass, quite literally and milk it for all its worth. So, she has some great entrepreneurial skills.

    But Kim is not fit or healthy. Thats why she wears a girdle to cover her tummy fat and black to make her look slimmer. Since when did the boundaries cross and someone who is the epitome of inactivity (she’s not toned and gets plastic surgery) is ALLOWED to release a workout video? it’s like amy winehouse releasing a video on healthy living. it’s plain silly!

  12. FITNESS was never more exiting, folks!!

  13. What excercise move gets you a bubble butt? the french fri crunch?

    click on my name

  14. Nero

    How about some leg-stretch exercises?

  15. Get Fit!

    #63

    You can get a shapely round butt by doing regular weight lifting exercises with such weight equipment as the butt blaster. I am short like Kim, but not fat like Kim. I stay fit by doing regular weight lifting and eating right most of the time and I also like doing active things like walking, hiking, biking, dancing, and swimming. The problem with Kim is she started gaining a pound a year like the typical fat American. Kim is definitely 20 pounds or more overweight. This being the case; Kim gained weight but did not maintain a regular workout routine, so now she has a saggy butt and cellulite that now require a butt girdle or airbrushed photos. Kim got liposuction on her upper back, thighs, and hips. There is no evidence that Kim has done anything physical to lose her fat or started eating healthy and gave up her fried Oreo cookies. If you gain weight and do not exercise regularly then you will get fat and flabby, but if you gain weight and exercise regularly then you have a chance of delaying the sag, until you lose the extra weight. Even if you hate to exercise; go to a gym and start exercising 15 minutes 1-3 times a week with weights. Then increase your workout to 20 and perhaps 30 minutes. Once a week at the gym working with weights for 20 minutes is better than nothing. Just do it! Get fit!

  16. Kevin Marshall

    #61

    Excellent point.

    Kim made 5 million off her porn flick with her self proclaimed fat fetish ex boyfriend. Forbes says the porn industry is a 14 billion dollar annual business. There are people with a fat fetish for Kim willing to pay to see her big fat butt on her short body having sex with a want to be gangster thug. I saw a clip of Kim’s porn flick and her boyfriend was kneading her big fat butt like dough and it was gross, but if you have a fat fetish then one might enjoy it. Kim is basically a poser with no true ambition. Who wears a thick heavy leather belt during a workout or let’s their hair down? Working out is meant to break a sweat, not try to look cute for the camera. Her 3 pound weights are also a big joke for someone selling a workout video. At least Kim is not wearing one of her ridiculous mega girdle butts like she usually does; Kim is one big fat lazy fraud and we all know it. I don’t mind a big toned butt, but a saggy doughy butt like Kim’s is gross.

  17. Chubby Chick

    There are a lot of short, medium, and tall females out there with big fat butts like Kim that rely on butt girdles to improve their figure, but they do not go around in public proclaiming it is the real thing like Kim. This is one of the annoying things about Kim; she wants praise for being lazy. She wants praise for getting liposuction and breast implants. She wants praise for airbrushing her photos. She want’s praise for wearing butt girdles and bodyshapers.
    There is nothing special about Kim. She is like the typical fat cute American who relies on body shapers and butt girdles to improve her figure. Kim got famous for doing porn and wearing butt girdles; end of story.

  18. Monkey Hunter

    We all know you’re getting paid to post this pile of shit monkey fucking white trash whore.

  19. Hunter

    I Love FAt GIrls!!!!!

  20. Tyrone

    69

    I love fat chicks too because they are so greatful and they love my compliemnts. I tell them that skinny and fit chicks are a turn off for me because I love big soft squeezeable meat. These fat chicks eat it up!

  21. melodyandmemory

    s h e i s F A T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. Randy

    Kim’s a fat sexy doughy butt short chick.

  23. Namor

    I think that every post about her should be labeled “Kim Lardassian”

  24. Dina

    God this is such BS. I bet Kim can’t even run a mile without stopping.

  25. Dina

    Omg I looked at a couple enlarged pics… she’s wearing sooo much make-up she looks like a wax figure. I would probably puke from having to watch her “work out” because I would just imagine all of that melting into her pores.

  26. maxim in the morning

    Darn it. A workout video? My fiance and I put off our wedding until we could see her ” How to Dance” Video. We enjoyed her performance so much on Dancing with the Stars that we figured we’d be the hit of the wedding if we could copy her dance moves.

  27. Lulu

    ha ha ha ha hahahahah
    heee hehe ehehehehehe
    aha hhhhhehe hehehehh

    *rolls on the floor*
    *wipe tears*

    heeeee he he hahahahahah

  28. Jeff

    #75

    I’ve seen Kim in person and she looks like a short stocky chick with a lot of make up on and she was wearing one of her signature girdles. She’s a big joke, but my buddy loves her because he says shes a filthy dirty fat bottom girl who does kinky stuff to keep a man, and my buddy likes chicks with a big ass because he says they are easy.

  29. celebritiesarenuts

    why would someone wear hoop earings while they work out.

  30. celebritiesarenuts

    why would someone wear hoop earings while they work out.

  31. I like fat chicks because they are very grateful and they love my compliemnts. I tell them chicks to form a thin and are off for me because I Love Big squeezeable meat moist.

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