UPDATE: Kim Kardashian? Bikini? Showering?! WHOOPEE!

May 15th, 2008 // 186 Comments

Kim Kardashian recently updated her blog with bikini pics of herself and sister Kourtney. If I didn’t write this site, I’d say that makes Kim Kardashian’s blog the most goddamn awesome blog on the Internet*. I’m also not saying it because I’m baffled by Kim’s impromptu shower with a sarong around her waist. What kind of wicked secret is she hiding under that thing? Wait, I got it! LEGOs. Boom! Case closed. Now to solve the mystery of how drunk I’m going to get. (Hint: Lots.)

UPDATE: Added the seriously, like for real Kardashian sisters’ PSA for Burma after the jump. Nothing like the irony of Armenians making light of a national tragedy. HA! You can’t make that shit up. Anyway, enjoy the video before YouTube pulls it again.

*Not counting Bob Cesca’s Goddamn Awesome Blog which, with a title like that, I gotta ask: Where’re the boobs, Bob? Where – are the boobs?

superficial

  1. happy day!

    IM FIRST! IM FRIST! IM FIST!

  2. Ted Mosby

    She’s hiding the cottage cheese booty.

    Would Motorboat.

  3. Jackson

    There Kim goes again covering her huge wide loose flat butt with a sarong!

  4. pondering

    I still think Kourtney is way hotter. She’s thinner and she doesn’t get peed on by wannabe rappers with killers for sisters.

  5. a2m

    Its nice to see a real woman after that Bai Ling fiasco.

  6. Roger

    Look out! Wide Load Coming!

  7. havoc

    YES.

    YES.

    FUCK YES!

    THANK YOU……..

    .

  8. Pixie

    Kim is so short and fat. I could not imagine being 5’3″ and that fat on a small frame! I suppose she figures her implants will overshadow her big hips, thighs, and butt. Since Kim uses photoshop I would think she could photoshop her huge ass and make it look smaller and perky.

  9. Mandy

    Sure, she wears a sarong. But who cares? She does it because yes, she probably does have cellulite. But guess what? So does Mischa Barton. You don’t have to be fat to get it. But look at that trim tummy, those sexy curves. She is gorgeous and doesn’t need anorexic girls with the bodies of 12-year-old boys approval.

  10. Poster who are happy about being first are even more lame than people like Kim K who are famous for doing absolutely nothing (well, besides being pee’d on)

  11. Brianna

    MOAST BWEBZ

  12. jesse

    That is fucking delicious

  13. happy day!

    #11 you can’t take away my happiness! Oh no you can’t!

  14. Doc

    #10

    Any chick that has cellulite was fat at one time or is currently fat. Cellulite are fat pockets. Kim is cute for a fat chick but her big fat flat wide ellulite ass is gross.

  15. monkeyfightclub

    Sure I’d nail her. But that’s not saying much. So sick of her hype.

  16. ...overheard...

    “Yeah, I know, I got totally hosed. By the time I sobered up enough to realize where I was, the only one left was that fat hairy Armenian whore. Worst part was that she thought she was super hot and spent half the time blabbering about how nobody realizes how talented she is. Finally I said she was beautiful and I was sure she’d make it big some day soon, and she almost started crying and then – check this – said I could piss on her if I wanted to! No, I know! Fucked up! But after all that she was pretty lame in bed, mostly she just laid there like a hairy beached whale. Anyway…”

  17. WHO'S HOTTER???

    PICTURE #4. Look at it who is hotter folks?

  18. eric

    overrated

    Don’t get me wrong though because I’d still have sex with her.

  19. Dick.Bush

    Tug Tug TuuuuuuuuuG

  20. Dr Drew

    @10

    Let’s not talk about the 1 percent of Americans that starve themselves. How about the beauty of eating right and exercising regularly so one does not have to rely on girdles, body shapers, and sarongs. Kim is like 70 percent of the fat Americans because they practice an unhealthy life style. Fat Americans are a huge health problem in the US. Americans have a habit of making excuses for fat people instead of saying you are fat and it is unhealthy and unattractive so get busy and improve yourself.

  21. EuroNeckPain

    She is gorgeous. Definitely.

  22. Angus

    I’d fuck her, but only if we can play by her own rules – keep the coverings on and just cut a few access holes. I don’t want to see all that hail damaged blubber either.

  23. KIM'S PHOTOSHOPPED PICS HA! HA!

    THESE PICS COME FROM KIM’S WEB SITE SO YOU KNOW THEY ARE PHOTOSHOPPED HA! HA!

    THESE PICS COME FROM KIM’S WEB SITE SO YOU KNOW THEY ARE PHOTOSHOPPED HA! HA!

    THESE PICS COME FROM KIM’S WEB SITE SO YOU KNOW THEY ARE PHOTOSHOPPED HA! HA!

    THESE PICS COME FROM KIM’S WEB SITE SO YOU KNOW THEY ARE PHOTOSHOPPED HA! HA!

    THESE PICS COME FROM KIM’S WEB SITE SO YOU KNOW THEY ARE PHOTOSHOPPED HA! HA!

    THESE PICS COME FROM KIM’S WEB SITE SO YOU KNOW THEY ARE PHOTOSHOPPED HA! HA!

    THESE PICS COME FROM KIM’S WEB SITE SO YOU KNOW THEY ARE PHOTOSHOPPED HA! HA!

    THESE PICS COME FROM KIM’S WEB SITE SO YOU KNOW THEY ARE PHOTOSHOPPED HA! HA!

  24. Dick.Bush

    Is that Dina Lohan trolling in the back?

  25. Conzuela

    She is HOT. However D List, how can you people criticise her for being damn fine? She aint fat, jealousy is an ugly thing…

  26. Mandy

    #15:

    Some points that go against your flawed logic, idiot.

    - An estimated 85-90% of women suffer from cellulite.

    - It can actually affect women (and a few men) of any shape or size. It is often associated with being overweight, but unfortunately it can happen to both thin and overweight people. Although carrying some extra weight can be a risk factor for cellulite, being thin won’t stop it from occurring.

    - Cellulite doesn’t distinguish between overweight or thin people but is more a factor of how your individual body stores fat and it is distributed throughout your body. In fact, occasionally you will see an overweight person that despite being overweight, does not suffer from cellulite at all.

    - Cellulite can happen to thin and overweight people from all socioeconomic levels. No one is immune, not even celebrities and supermodels, as you will see from many of the celebrity magazines out there. Society places more value on slim, beautiful women with flawless skin, but unfortunately perfection is unattainable and 99.9% of women don’t fit that bill.

    Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, bitch!

  27. #15. Doc you are not a Doctor because even the most poorly educated and unintelligent doctors are well aware that cellulite occurs on women of ALL sizes. It is HORMONAL and occurs after puberty. Please educate yourself, we are embarrassed for you.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cellulite

    “Cellulite is not related to being overweight; average and underweight people also get cellulite.”

  28. Dick.Bush

    I’d nail her fine ass sister with the vigor of an overweight unshaven plumber.

  29. C Commander

    #27 – Cellulite isn’t natural. If u eat animal fat you get cellulite. Do the vegans Natalie Portman or Alicia Silverstone have cellulite?? F no & they never will….

    Also smoking contributes to cellulite –

    Ok so why does eating meat and smoking lead to cellulite because “Cellulite is fat deposits and build-up of toxins beneath the skin” Meat and cigarettes are full of toxins – DONE.

  30. Joe

    Nah, not anymore, pass. Chicks who cover up like that are way too self-conscious about being overweight to be fun in the bedroom. You want them to do a voluptuous strip tease, and they want to slip off their undies and get under the covers within 3 seconds or less, even with the lights down. Kim’s been like this for awhile now, as she’s gained weight, and now she’s just playing an annoying game. If you’re a voluptuous sex goddess, then put on the thong bikini and proudly show off your body. If you can’t do that…then what are you, actually?

  31. huh?

    #30 – Alicia Silverstone??? You’re joking, right? It’s a good thing that she’s a “peach” because she carries around her own cottage cheese.

  32. Doc

    #27

    Mandy I suspect you are fat like Kim and suffer from cellulite.

    You are quoting inaccuarate figures from a web site that sells useless cellulite cream.

    Very few men suffer from cellulite because it is based on the composition and behavior of women’s fat cells and the connective tissue that holds them in place. Very simply, a woman’s connective tissue is very inflexible, so as females gain weight their fat cells expand, and tend to bulge upwards towards the surface of the skin, giving the classic orange-peel appearance of cellulite.

    Diet has been shown to affect the development and amount of cellulite. Excessive amounts of fat, carbohydrates, salt, or too little fiber can all contribute to an increased cellulite.

    Increasing protein should help add collagen and build muscle to burn fat and contain fat.

    I am sorry you are fat and have cellulite like Kim and take all negative comments about Kim personally. You need to join Weight Watchers, exercise regularly, and lose weight so you will feel good about yourself.

    Good Luck Mandy.

  33. #30

    Yes being vegetarian or pescatarian (no meat but only fish) has many advantages like no cellulite; that is, if you were never fat before you became vegetarian. If you are fat and have cellulite and then become a vegetarian then you are out of luck, but you can prevent getting more cellulite.

  34. fucking idiot parade

    #30. Retard they BOTH have cellulite, it has nothing to do with that. MEN RARELY GET CELLULITE AND A FUCKLOAD OF STEAK EATING MEN AREN”T VEGANS. THE MAJORITY OF MEN ARE CARNIVORS. Good god what is with the uneducated mentally challenged idiots on here today? Alicia Silverstone is chubby and flabby and has quite nasty cellulite and appears to NEVER work out. Exercising is what helps with cellulite; cardio, strength training etc…

  35. #35 you go girl!!

  36. PDiddy

    #30: You are a genius. You sound hot. I want you.

  37. smartpolice

    @28….omg don’t post the backup to your argument from wiki…makes you look like a fucking dumb bitch.

    ps. you are a fucking dumb bitch…..proof = http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dumb+bitch

    case closed.

  38. Shakazulla

    #30: Do you remember me? Didn’t we date in college – and didn’t you break up with me b/c of my cellulite and my afro. Your an a$$.

  39. whoa

    PERSIAN SHOWER!!

    Do you have any idea how bad she smells when she’s wet?
    (shudder)

  40. Poor Thing

    #38

    You must be fat and have cellulite like Kim. You poor bitter person.

  41. nasty

    #30 and anyone who agrees with “it” are quite possibly the STUPIDEST PEOPLE ALIVE. PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY CARNIOVROUS, SMOKING MEN DON’T GET CELLULITE YOU UNEDUCATED TROLL?

  42. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    Cue all the she’s fat comments – whatever! She might be shallow and stupid but ALL of you would give your right arm to have a body like hers you lot are so jealous its funny!

  43. El-COyote

    Kim looks like she could eat a whole Bai Ling in one sitting…

    Course she would just be hungry again in an hour….

  44. AJ

    #35

    Most men do not get cellulite because their skin composition is different from women. The bottom line is that if you stay fit your entire life then you will not get cellulite. If you eat too much food like fat ass Kim then you will get cellulite providing it runs in your family. Some women get stretch marks and no cellulite. You sound ignorant by your profanity. Only ignorant people use profanity to make a point. Eating right and exercising help prevent cellulite.

  45. California Dreaming

    #43

    Yeah right. I would not change my heatlhy life style to be fat like Kim. You must be talking about the 70 percent of Americans that are overweight like Kim. I live in Southern CA and it looks stupid to go to the beach and wear a sarong like Kim.

  46. Bai Ling

    Ugh! Kim take attention away, make me so mad!

    Kim rearr name is Moo She-Pork!

  47. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    @30 I agree I have been vegetarian since I was 10 and have ZERO cellulite.

  48. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    @30 I agree I have been vegetarian since I was 10 and have ZERO cellulite.

  49. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    @30 I agree I have been vegetarian since I was 10 and have ZERO cellulite.

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