Kim Kardashian banged Cristiano Ronaldo

April 16th, 2010 // 105 Comments

Because her entire life is nothing but a page from the Paris Hilton playbook, Kim Kardashian apparently hooked up with soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo in Madrid this week, according to RadarOnline:

Newly single Kim watched him play for Real Madrid while she was visiting Spain with friends, but she got up close-and-personal with the hunky soccer star from Portugal when the pair shared a lunch date on Monday.
On-lookers revealed that they saw the pair ‘kissing and being very affectionate’ inside the restaurant although they left in separate cars afterwards.
Traveling in a blacked-out Mercedes G-Wagon, Kim then followed Ronaldo in his Audi RS6 sports car before heading back to his mansion inside a gated community in Madrid.

I can only imagine Kim Kardashian’s horror when, mid-coitus, Cristiano’s bronzer started rubbing off and she suddenly realized he wasn’t black. It’d be like Sarah Palin finding out she blew Obama in a Rush Limbaugh disguise except less moose would get shot in a fit of anger. “I CAN STILL TASTE THE SOCIALISM!” *RATATATATATAT*

Paris Hilton Flashing Her Vagina While Making Out With Cristiano – 6.11.2009


  1. kabuto84


    shes hot!

  2. john edwards

    where’s the SEX TAPE?

  3. sarah

    Desperate attempt to make Reggie Bush jealous b/c he’s dating again too. Everyone knows this guy is an “easy” lay because he’ll screw anyone in Hollywood…

    • drr6

      Please. In the overall rankings, Ronaldo – while a goofball – is one of the world’s most successful and famous and at the absolute top of his field. Kardashian by comparison is a dime a dozen. And frankly he is more attractive physically as a man than she is as a woman.

  4. John Terry

    I like the sound of this Kim girl.

  5. zombina

    How much make up does she has?? she looks like her wax figure…

  6. zombina

    How much make up does she have?? she looks like her wax figure…


    I have to say (although a totally shallow comment, I admit) — these two should have a child, because it would likely be the most beautiful child on earth.

  8. pimp

    that guy sure loves them used up american whores…

  9. Nick

    Sharing the herpes… beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. NG

    Which one of them is the stupid whore? I dare you to answer this question :-)

  11. bitch PLEASE

    ummm who doesn’t this slut bang, just to get some fucking publicity?

  12. Chupacabra

    That man is fug in the face and that sweater he’s wearing is too small. Kim, too much makeup and botox hon.

  13. Me

    start a list of who she HASN”T banged…it’ll take less time….

  14. doogie

    This guy is gayer than doogie howser.

  15. Tek

    Can’t blame him. It’s definitely an upgrade from Herpes Hilton. Anyway, Kim should go easy with the make up.

  16. PunkA

    Wow, the blow up doll bitch has to fly to Spain for a hook-up to make her ex jealous? How pathetic is that? I mean, wow, smacks of desperation. Seriously, I come to her to hook up fo FREE. And trust me, Reggie would be way jealous to see her with a white boy. No some prancing prissy from Portugal.

  17. SpaceGhost

    Wow, that’s a cute little outfit he has on. Maybe the little fag has lace underwear underneath? I half expect to see a photo of him with the sweater arms tied around his neck, sweater hanging off his back. Fag Fag Fag.

    And this little whore with pounds of makeup… don’t even get me started on her…

  18. KELS

    This chick likes her men with some flavor, that’s why she strays away from the white man. You go, girl!

  19. xylus

    I think Christian would rather be banging Reggie Bush….

  20. e

    Cristiano gets his eyebrows done better than kim.

  21. they would make a nice couple :-)

  22. Beeotch

    Fish!! Please stop posting photos of her fat ass and post more of him!

  23. mupp

    “This chick likes her men with some flavor, that’s why she strays away from the white man. You go, girl!”

    He’s Portuguese….in Europe, where “white people” come from, they are “white”.

    Just with suntans.

  24. Ralph

    #5…I don’t think it’s just the makeup. KK has pumped so much “filler” into her face that her eyes are starting to disappear. Take a look at some of her old pictures.

  25. KELS

    @23, Yes, his skin tone is olive-he is Mediterranean, not Anglo. In other words, he’s got flavor. The reason they have a darker skin tone is cuz they have Moorish ties.

  26. Deacon Jones

    I bet her face looked like a melting creamsickle after he nutted on it.

  27. Gando

    Ewww! Really?! He’d better get asap those Glorix tissues!

  28. Darth

    Did he get his tetanus shot?! He should check it!

  29. e

    plasitc people.

  30. mathew

    @15 im pretty sure this lady has wayy more herpes than miss hilton!

  31. larryfine

    europeeing on me!

  32. Sport

    Holy Shit look at her face in these pics. So much makeup there isnt any face – she looks like a video game. And this relationship could NEVER last…he is prettier than she is…

  33. Judy Blue Eyes

    I hope he get STDs from her.

    You have know idea how much I hate this guy! My husband and I were at an international airport last year and went to one of those sport bar chain restaurants in the terminal. Sleazy and greasy, Cristiano, and all of his teammates were there, too. I think all of his teammates think he is just as discussing as I do. He was talking about all sort of different women when one of his team mates said to him ” … she was too high class for you,” and sleazy replied “yeah, a high-class prostitute.” None of his teammates laughed or thought he was funny. I feel so sorry for them, he must really be a jackass all the time.

  34. Champ

    They didnt actually go out, he should took a crap on her face and filmed it.

  35. Cordell

    bronzer started rubbing off & she realized he wasn’t black…
    LOL! awesome line!

  36. alisa

    that would be one of the hottest couples ever……… i love her but she looks nothing like she used to. so much plastic surgery :/ why is everyone so fake……

  37. it's all about Rough

    I’m not even going to read about this lucky C sucker…

  38. nar

    kim look so plastic in his photos!!

  39. jared


  40. gen

    Cristian Ronaldo is such a fag.

  41. misf

    lol fish, you’re funny today.

  42. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    She probably has the same mutant strain of herpes Paris has. Time to get your extra strength Valtrex, you piss whore!

  43. Bimbamboing

    Is Paris Hilton gonna visit Cristiano Ronaldo soon as well? She should do it since she’s single.

  44. Darth

    Her eyes are a bit swollen.Had a rough night?

  45. cellphone

    He’d look still a bit dazed from the close sight of her massive ass.

  46. Gando

    She could be easily Spanish or Portuguese if you didn’t know better.

  47. Rhialto

    Aren’t there any blondes in Spain or Portugal? Yes there’re plenty of them.

  48. OH

    Holy shit this chick’s face is scary. Worse than hEIDI mONTAGS

  49. hi

    Hmm, first she publically comments and laughs off dating that UK scocer player and then shows up with Christian.

    I think this family bigs and promotes allthese stories, even the fake ones. To make the girl look cooler than she is.

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