Kim Kardashian banged Cristiano Ronaldo

Because her entire life is nothing but a page from the Paris Hilton playbook, Kim Kardashian apparently hooked up with soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo in Madrid this week, according to RadarOnline:

Newly single Kim watched him play for Real Madrid while she was visiting Spain with friends, but she got up close-and-personal with the hunky soccer star from Portugal when the pair shared a lunch date on Monday.
On-lookers revealed that they saw the pair ‘kissing and being very affectionate’ inside the restaurant although they left in separate cars afterwards.
Traveling in a blacked-out Mercedes G-Wagon, Kim then followed Ronaldo in his Audi RS6 sports car before heading back to his mansion inside a gated community in Madrid.

I can only imagine Kim Kardashian’s horror when, mid-coitus, Cristiano’s bronzer started rubbing off and she suddenly realized he wasn’t black. It’d be like Sarah Palin finding out she blew Obama in a Rush Limbaugh disguise except less moose would get shot in a fit of anger. “I CAN STILL TASTE THE SOCIALISM!” *RATATATATATAT*

Paris Hilton Flashing Her Vagina While Making Out With Cristiano – 6.11.2009