Kim Kardashian + April Fool’s = FAIL

April 1st, 2009 // 74 Comments

Kim Kardashian attempted to play an April Fool’s joke when she posted the above pic of herself sporting a tattoo on her blog. Of course, for this joke to work it would require people to actually read her blog and not immediately cry “Photoshop!” at the jarring lack of Oprah arms. That said, it’s common knowledge if Kim got a tattoo it’d probably be on her ass and read:

“Please watch my reality television show Keeping Up With the Kardashians Sundays at 10 P.M. Eastern Standard Time on the E! Network cable channel. It features reality episodes with my sisters Kourtney Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian, along with my mom Kris Jenner and step-father Bruce Jenner. Sometimes my brother Robert Kardashian is on it, too. It’s a fantastic experience for your television viewing.

Also, scope out my official blog at Kim Kardashian.com using your personal computer and Internet connection to find out my deep personal thoughts on all kinds of topic. Even topics regarding my reality television show Keeping Up With the Kardashians Sundays at 10 P.M. Eastern Standard Time on the E! Network cable channel.

Oh, and yes, I’m the girl in the homemade pornographic film having sexual intercourse with R&B singer Ray J which somehow got leaked and marketed thus boosting my Q status in the public eye.”

Then under that would be a full artist rendering of the final battle in Lord of the Rings because, let’s be honest, there’d be some space to kill.

superficial

  1. KK GO AWAY

    THIS GIRL IS SO STUPID. SHE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR ATTENTION.

    HER ARM LOOKS RIDICULOUS BECAUSE IT’S NOT PHOTOSHOPPED PROPERLY. IF YOU’RE GONNA DO IT, AT LEAST MAKE IT REALISTIC. HER ARM LOOKS LIKE A 12 YEAR OLD’S IN THIS PICTURE.

  2. justifiable

    #1 No, dicksmack, a nice miracle would be if you and your fellow dating spammers would die in a nice bus crash or a tidal wave of sulphuric acid.

  3. Buttgirdle or wide load?

    Her tat says all that but nothing about the buttgirdle controversy.

  4. Richard

    Worst photoshop job ever.

  5. Richard

    Worst photoshop job ever.

  6. justifiable

    Sorry , new #1, the Fish removed that spammer, my post doesn’t apply to you.

  7. Racer X

    That would look better on her booty

  8. P

    Ha ha ha Fish you fuck that was funny!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Space to kill……….hahahahaha…………….

  10. Lacy

    Does it really say “Easter” standard time…as opposed to “Eastern”? Get real…what an idiot.

  11. Jrz

    I didn’t realize April Fools’ Day was a holiday in Huge Fucking Ass Land.

  12. cavy

    She’s so pretty….too bad the tat isn’t real – it would be cool.

  13. Boonie

    She really needs a tattoo of a stream of urine arcing across her face, into her mouth! Now THAT I’d like to see!

  14. Randal

    I think it’s great that popular celebrities can have fun with their fans and even themselves on days like this. It really helps make a connection that they’re people just like the rest of us and know how to have some good fun .

    Randal

  15. tranny

    they should photoshop off her penis

  16. Blue Eyes

    She does have one big ass….but she also has a pretty face. Not sure how she got to be so damn famous, but whatever.

  17. I wonder what the chances are of Photoshopping a personality on her.

    #6 – after reading #1′s cap laced tirade, you may as well just leave that fuck you right where you had it…

  18. Jrz

    That’s a stupid fucking “joke” anyhow. I mean, how self indulgent? I’ll post a picture of myself looking totally gorgeous with……a……PRETTY tattoo that’s really fake on my arm so people will be like OMG Kim got a tattoo!

    At least make the tattoo of something funny…..like…..Paris Hilton getting shot or Khloe getting harpooned.

  19. shoopy

    eww Kim Kardaaaasheen.

  20. lol

    #17: What are the chances of photoshopping YOUR personality?
    :)

  21. Hulagurl23

    When will this stupid bitch go away all ready!! for the love of God i beg you fish please stop posting about her and she will go away just like Heidi and Spencer did, positive or negative, she thrives on the constant media attention, it’s what keeps her alive!! words cannot even describe how much i loathe this waste of space, i’d rather read a story about Paris Hilton, that’s how much i hate her

  22. Ted Kennedy's Tumor

    Since when did Kim get Lindsay Lohan arms? And #10 Lacy was right. Its “Eastern” Standard Time, not “Easter” Standard. I think all that urine she drank ruined her little brain.

  23. Sara

    Yea, I was about to say, her arms are fatter than that!

  24. antoine bugleboy

    final battle in lord of the rings!

    she could also use her ass crack to symbolize that part where gandalf fell through an entire mountain to fight that fiery demon thing at the bottom.

    they’d only need to draw the wizard as i’m sure there’s already some fiery something waiting for him down there…

  25. #20 – The same as 90% of the douchebags here have being laid in the next 30 days… Zero.

  26. Richard McBeef

    @22 – Did she really drink the urine? I guess I figured he just pissed all over tits and ass although admittedly, i am not familiar with proper pissing protocol. Has anyone actually seen the pissing part of that video? What about the R. kelly pissing video. or Screech’s piss video?

    I am calling shenanigans.

  27. Racer X

    #21, Paris Hilton is a skank. At least Kim has a big ass/pretty face. Paris looks like a preying mantis.

  28. justifiable

    #20 Uh, in case you missed it, Rich has a kickass personality going on 24/7, no enhancement needed.

  29. Yikes

    She’s beautiful, has the best tits on the planet, and is a freak in the sack. Sure, I’d pass up the chance to phuck her.

    NOT!!!!!!!!!

  30. how sad

    It’s so obvious this whore fantasizes about being considered the “hottest chick everrrr” and knows she can’t because she’s a fucking fatass

  31. farty mcshitface

    this bitch is pure trash. all the money in the world and she can’t buy a clue. i bet she’s got ANAL WARTS!!!!!!!!! ANAL WARTS!!!!!!!!! ANAL WARTS!!!!!!!!! ANAL WARTS!!!!!!!!! ANAL WARTS!!!!!!!!! ANAL WARTS!!!!!!!!! ANAL WARTS!!!!!!!!! ANAL WARTS!!!!!!!!! ANAL WARTS!!!!!!!!! ANAL WARTS!!!!!!!!!
    i wish she and paris would get into a plane and fly into the bermuda triangle never to be seen or heard from again. i will even buy their tickets.

  32. ItsFullOfPoop

    I’m starting to think you’ll be fired if you don’t post something about this waste of flesh every day.

    I mean,what other reason would you have to keep posting somebody who is overwhelmingly despised by the users of this site?

  33. silencio

    Super whore!

  34. It’s a great shoop and Kim Kardashian is a talented and beautiful actress. or whatever it is she does. Simmer down, kiddles.

  35. K.T

    She has beautiful eyes and hair and flawless skin, I’ll give her that. And she looks amazing in tight strapless dresses….but I could tell STRAIGHTAWAY this wasn’t her because the size of her arm!!!! Come ONNNN….as if!! Her arm is twice the size, it looks fake straightaway. She claims to be so proud of her ‘curves’ etc etc, yet she’ll have an arm photoshopped so it looks like Giselle’s!! Practice what you preach, Kim…. You are a big girl with chunky arms…. deal with it ALREADY.

  36. Kim’s butt is too big and fat to get butt implants.

    I have figured out the mystery that is Kim Kardashians giant ass! I have always suspected that there was something unnatural about it, but I don’t think she has actual butt implants. She has wide hips that usually go along with a big butt, but her butt does not have a natural shape at all.

    It appears that Kim Kardashian has had liposuction (or liposculpture) on her lower back, upper thighs and hips. The following picture shows some of Kim’s lumpy lipo.
    http://famousplastic.com/category/butt-lift/

    I think it is a big fat joke that Kim put out an exercise video. All she did was lipo her body.

    Since Kim lipo her lower half and lipo prevents weight gain in those areas; she will start gaining even more weight on her fat saggy butt and she will need to eventually lipo her butt. Then she will start getting fat on her knee caps lol! Kim will always have to wear a butt bra to make her fat butt look perky.

  37. Jamie's Uterus

    Another example of how ‘the fish’ is on the human urinal’s payroll.

  38. Taylor

    Her nose job is fab!

  39. Couldve sworn #14 was the guy the apprehended paying a visit to Shaw Johnson at DWTS’s…

  40. Big G

    xd every time there’s a kk post you always sound so damn butthurt. she’s fine as fuck and could turn gay men straight, that ass is perfect.

  41. Darth

    Hola!

  42. timmy the dying boy

    OK, so she gets that tattoo on her ass. What goes on the other 1 3/4 cheeks?

  43. mafme

    1) Don’t flatter yourself.
    2) Why is this an april fool’s day prank? She says she got a tattoo and if we believe her… what? So what? It’s like saying, “I have green underwear on…. APRIL FOOLS! It’s blue! tee hee.” It’s not a joke… it’s not anything. Goddamn she’s fucking stupid.

  44. Q*bert

    Q status?

  45. vito

    Fake bitch. I’ll bet she even plucks her eyebrows.

  46. Tiffany

    hahahahaha wow. this entry had me laughing all the way through. lmaooo

  47. ALL FAILURES ARE FORGIVEN, folks!!

  48. Groucho

    #26, there is no pissing in the Kardashian video. Unless that is in some ultra-secret special edition of it, I don’t know how that rumor got started or why it persists. There is none in the Screech video either, though there was a dirty sanchez.

    There is pissing and lots of it in the R Kelly video.

  49. FishFan

    Thanks, Fish. I needed a good laugh.

  50. .

    Fish so has a boner for her. Otherwise why all the posts and schoolboy teasing? That or hes being paid. hmmmm

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