Kris Jenner is Making Kim, Kourtney & Khloe Get Pregnant At The Same Time

September 2nd, 2011 // 40 Comments

“ACK! These penises are white!”

Now that there’s been a fake wedding, it’s time for Kim Kardashian to start shitting out babies so her mom can sell more specials to E! Except Kris Jenner is going for the hat trick and wants all three of her workhorses to occupy their uteri at the same time. Because, let’s be frank, the numbers on Kourtney’s last pregnancy could’ve been better and bringing a child into the world should always be based entirely on ratings and profit incentives. Us Weekly reports:

What would Kim think if she got pregnant at the same time as Kourtney — who has a 20-month-old son Mason — and Khloe? “That would be a dream!” she gushed to Us Weekly Wednesday night at her Welcome to NYC party thrown by Jason Binn and Colin Cowie. “All three of us pregnant at the same time? That would be amazing!”
Kardashian matriarch Kris Jenner admitted to Us that she puts the pressure on her daughters to have kids. “I would love more grandchildren,” she said. “Mason is the love of our lives, and he is so much fun, but there’s only one Mason to go around. It would be nice if we had some more.”
The girls all seem on board with their mother’s plan.

What should concern a lot of people more than the Kardashians outnumbering us 2 to 1, is that one of these babies is going to have to die. You don’t make three sisters pregnant at the same time without locking down that extra special miscarriage/stillborn/SIDS episode. Any television writer will you that. (Back me up, Secret Life). So it’s either make Kourtney have an “accident” – I’m assuming Kourtney because she already has a baby. – or not make an extra million dollars which is just crazy talk. “Money money money money,” Kris Jenner will say just because.

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News


  1. karen

    The worst part is that they’re all being impregnated by Bruce, with Kris behind him screaming “IN! OUT! IN! OUT!”

  2. not these asshats again

    It’s the Whore Family.

  3. it had to be said

    So, I understand that Kris knows how to work a turkey baster, but she’s going to need to keep track of her samples. The kid attributed to Lamar had better have some of that Armenian coloring, if you know what I mean . . .

  4. Jack Ketch

    Oh Christ … bad enough that they exist … now they have to breed just because this money-obsessed, shameless cunt of a “mother” wants grandchildren ? There is no God. I knew it. That being said, how much fucking make-up does one need to apply to look so goddamned orange ???

    • TomFrank

      To be fair, all mothers want grandchildren. It’s the “having them all go into labor in time for sweeps week” that’s the disturbing part.

  5. JC


  6. ness

    theres mum is a p.i.m.p seriously.let them all get pregnant then make them go away forever.

  7. Queequeg

    Between the corporate whores running for president and these plain, old whores…it is gonna be a tough couple of years.

  8. Kim Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    Just what the world needs, more Kraphumans.

  9. terry

    These Arminian girls really think they are blond, blue privileged women. They act so fake as if they have to live up to some goddamn standard.

  10. She’s already got Kendall and Kylie signed out to Bieber once they hit 18.

  11. boo

    WHY are they considered such style icons? That is one butt ugly dress.

  12. Tristyn

    STFU!!!! Pimp mama

  13. Venom

    It’s official, the terrorists have won :(

    Although the new young one Kendall is pretty freaking hot. Her sex tape should be a good time.

  14. rican

    All that bondo on her face to make her white.

  15. Tiggles

    Please stop covering Kardashians, you risk turning the site into E!Online.

  16. Gary B

    Kim and Kris, please do not breed, Kim is a talentless fame whore and Kris is a average player on a crappy NBA team. Your kid will be some deformed FULL RETARD freak . At least he/she will have the potential to be a really good burger king employee.

  17. Clarence Beeks

    Kim needs to remember that when she has a baby, it will have her original features, not the ones she BOUGHT.

    I am so SICK of this SHITTY family.

  18. At first, Kris wanted to sell the sex video of them all getting pregnant at the same time, but there’s not a lens wide enough to contain that much ass in one shot. And then on top of it, Kloe’s bush kept growing back faster than they could keep it waxed, so it just ended up looking like a windstorm in a barbershop.

  19. V

    See, at least Paris Hilton was funny. I mean, she was like a cartoon character. She was dumb, plastic, silly, rich, but even then I never got the whole “better tahn thou” attitude, “look at my show about my normal life, I’m just better than you”. She always did silly shit on her shows and never fabricated situations like a wedding and children to win more exposure. I was never this annoyed by Paris or Nicole. They did make me laugh. This people legit think they’re American royalty and they’re boring as fuck. AND Kris copied Paris’ formula to success with the sex tape, except they edited out the nasties stuff to make Kim look like a princess.

    Bitch, please. You like to be PEED ON. Class, shame, dignity = gone.

    • Clarence Beeks

      Paris claimed she was the equivalent of Princess Di, so I don’t get where your comment is coming from. Paris thinks she is better than EVERYONE!. she is also racist, and a dog killer. She is much worse than the Kardashians. I detest that family, but Paris Hilton is pure EVIL.

  20. Snides

    If you want to get pregnant, the man’s DNA needs to be inside your womb. That’s INSIDE your womb. Not to be confused with your face or the small of your back. And by DNA i do not mean urine. Just want to be clear on that one.

  21. AL

    that is one way to emeshed family and it is way dysfunctional. The women need their own life and a manager who is not their mother, calling all the shots as their MOTHER/MANAGER for life.

  22. Kim Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at the way she’s looking at that guy………..Scandalish!

  23. This story is giving me a weird Nazi experiment vibe. Kris Jenner’s going to be pacing around an operating theater wearing jackboots, wielding a riding crop and yelling instructions while Scott, Lamar and the other Kris plow away at their wives. The fact that her douchebag daughters are “on board” just means that Stockholm syndrome has set in, or the brainwashing techniques Kris uses are super-effective.

  24. Kim Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor idiot gor his manhood cut off when they called him Mr. Kardashian. In this case we dont know who the bitch is. The mom is pathetic, whore daughters, new little whores in training, and the men in this family have no balls. Sorry Lamar, I call it like I see it!

  25. Daniel

    of course they need a new spin on the next season on KUWTK

  26. Mother to an Angel

    I usually laugh along with all the Kar-Trashion jokes but as a woman who has suffered the excruciating grief of a stillborn child, I don’t feel this should be fodder for comedy. Yes, it’s crazy and shameful what they do for ratings but it’s downright disgusting to have this site jest about the death of a child to get laughs out of readers. Losing a child is never funny and not something a grieving mother should “lighten up” about.

    • Joshwahh

      Shut up already. Nobody thinks losing a child is funny.

      What is “funny” is the attempt to lampoon reality shows and other television trash that exploit this type of tragedy for profit. It is, in itself, tragic, but someone is trying to turn a humorous eye on the disgustingly low morals of people like the Kartrashians by pointing out that they would totally do this kind of thing and there there is precedent for it.

  27. shell

    A good madame knows what’s good for the brothel.

  28. Belle

    What a bunch of bulls**t, you bunch of judgmental stalkers. the only person you have the right to critizise and judge is yourself, seriously bullys are for primary school. So what if they make money out of their success and special moments. They have a dream and they’re going for it. Who cares how much make up they were! If it gives them the confidence and makes them happy so be it! This family isn’t dropping bombs! stealing or hurting anyone, they;re given curvier girls confidence by displaying their healthy bodies, they donate to charity, they do a lot for the community, what the fuck do you guys do? my guess is NOTHING so f*** off and get a life you cruel bored people

  29. Kim Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant
    Bond Seven
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim you look so cool & calm with true sex apple ! keep up baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  30. Kim Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    kim kartrashian is a freakish dwarf

  31. Kim Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d love to see the Kim, Kourtney and Khloe as a human centipede.

  32. Kim Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    hi everyone, here come your favorite bitches

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