Kim Kardshian’s ‘Media Lockdown’ Lasted Long

December 7th, 2011 // 63 Comments
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Apparently two weeks is enough time for you to become sopping wet with whore-ticipiation because Kim Kardashian has been released from her media lockdown and allowed to pretend the paparazzi waiting by her car weren’t called in advance by Kris Jenner who’s conveniently walking out of the same building with Kourtney. “Because if you’re going to whore one, you might as well whore every single one regardless of age,” is how Kris Jenner parents. On that note, here’s the goddamn cavalcade of lies she’s leaked to the tabloids this week to continue building her empire of lies:

Those Lies I Was Just Talking About:

- Reggie Bush wants to get back with Kim. Just assume the exact opposite of that is happening, and he spends his nights throwing knives at overstuffed beanbag chairs in case he ever sees her again. [Life & Style]

- Kris Humphries made Kim cry on purpose every single day they were together. He also raped her. Except not really, I’m just preparing you for May sweeps. [Hollywood Life]

- Khloe’s trying to have a baby through in vitro because she feels pressured now that Kourtney’s having a baby. Let me just shoot this one down with science: MAN. CANNOT. MATE. WITH. SASQUATCH. [Page Six]

This has been another edition of Kris Jenner Is A Lying Whoremaster of Whores.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Kim Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    KeisterBot 2.0 is ready for her close-up.

  2. Frank Burns

    Her demonic wings are starting to show under her clothing.

  3. JC

    Damn, someone set the makeup gun to “whore” again and then fired at her face multiple times.

  4. Gilmore Girl

    The raccoon eyes are a nice touch. Makes her look really sad and pathetic and deserving of our sympathy. *rolls eyes*

  5. stratacat

    she looks preggers. maybe she’s halfsquash can therefore act as surrogate.

  6. General Disarray

    Why the fuck are these people still breathing?

  7. BoycottRealityTV

    Boycott The Kardashians!

    facebook.com/BoycottRealityTV

  8. boing

    durka durk.

  9. Kourtney Kardashian
    cp3
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s that smell? Oh, HI SIS!

  10. I cannot wait for them to be begging for a job at couponblogger.com

  11. I don’t wish ill on them by any means, but I do wish they’d all just fuck off.
    Fucking ME, ME, ME, ME, ME…. when is it enough already.

  12. go sign the petition and lets get rid of the kartrashian/jenner family once and for all

  13. Sensei John Kreese

    I’ll tell you who took those sandwiches, it was that damn Sasquatch.

  14. BThatch

    Stop reporting on her stupid bullshit life and they will go away. Seriously, even bad press is still press and keeps them in the limelight they are desperately clinging to. Just Stop Now

  15. The Kardashians build shoulders like the the Chinese build rooflines.

  16. Marla

    It “IS” all about the clicks. If you are going to post a comment, they are going to keep posting. Negative press is press, and these guys don’t care how they get it. I agree with the makeup mishap. I am waiting for her head to start rotating on her shoulders followed by green vomit and a trip down the staircase in a backbend formation for not pulling off that B.S. wedding…….

  17. Kim Kardashian
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Everything makes her ass look big…because it is.

  18. Now that you mention it, it has been a pleasant two weeks.

  19. Kim Kardashian
    maeby
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like that creepy cartoon Death thing from that Japanese movie. Help me out here people.

  20. Kourtney Kardashian
    Jon Hex
    Commented on this photo:

    Disick is a dumbass. Millions of dollars and is the most likable of that entire family, I would have married her and gave her four kids by now.

  21. Bane

    Notice how the Mom is the only one smiling?

    $$$$$$$$$$$$ cha ching!

  22. LJ

    I’d rather hear about Taylor Momsen touring with Guns and Roses (Yes, the Kardashians should fall below THAT story).

  23. Kim Kardashian
    WhateverYouSay
    Commented on this photo:

    An ugly person in the inside makes an ugly person on the outside.

  24. Venom

    It would be awesome if the blogs gave them a permanent media lockdown.

  25. girl

    Yet another rage-against-the-women post. This site is a barely disguised hate-speech campaign against women. Fish – documenting every time your language and posts demonstrates misogyny.

  26. John

    maybe she can be a organ donor

    • Robert

      And WTF is she going to donate? If I need an organ I don’t need one that is probably infected with STD or has hepatitis from pee. :/ That woman is gross and she is getting what she set herself out to get.

  27. CUMDASHIANS

    Their so FCKNNNNN FAKE It’s PATHETIC. LOADS and LOADS have been DUMPED IN THAT BCH. When you have SPERM BANKS calling you and wanting sum back, you know YOUR A HO, A NASTY HO AT THAT…

  28. Jim

    filthy whore

  29. forrest gump

    the question isbt “IF” but “WHEN” I’m gonna marry her.

  30. tlmck

    Methinks she met a lot of Dominoes, Pinks, and In and Out Burger delivery people while in seclusion.

  31. Kim Kardashian
    MoonBeam
    Commented on this photo:

    Reminds me of that story in Stand By Me about LardAss.
    Whenever I see her walk, I think “Boom-ba-ba-boom-ba-ba”

  32. Kris Jenner
    MoonBeam
    Commented on this photo:

    Ohh….there’s my paycheck clicking away!

  33. lkl

    BOYCOTT EVERYTHING KARDASHIANS,

  34. Kim Kardashian
    dreadpiratejenn
    Commented on this photo:

    So this is what Darth Vader’s concubine would look like…

  35. Kim Kardashian
    anonymoose
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s lady gaga, right?

  36. Kim Kardashian
    anonymoose
    Commented on this photo:

    What a troll.

  37. Kris Jenner
    anonymoose
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the infectious species of Calabasas Horsefly.

  38. Kourtney Kardashian
    Christine
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate to repeat myself, but, WHY is this family in the limelight with a reality TV show? If this is truly how these people lead their lives then I can’t understand what in hell is going through their famous heads….

  39. Kim Kardashian
    Jennifer
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks possessed ….

  40. Kim Kardashian
    Real Deal
    Commented on this photo:

    those are some stupid looking point shoulder pads

  41. Kim Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait…back up. I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around this controversy. They taped scenes after the fact to insert into an earlier timeline to make it look like Kim was troubled that her marriage wasn’t working out, instead of showing that she was partying while her marriage was falling apart?

    I’m having trouble understanding the controversy, not the actual facts. Who is shocked about this?

  42. Kris Jenner
    nn
    Commented on this photo:

    indeed

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