Kris Jenner Wanted Christina Aguilera To Play Kim’s Wedding For Free

August 23rd, 2011 // 92 Comments

Kim Kardashian‘s wedding is now close to hauling in $17.9 million, so naturally Kris Jenner expected Jennifer Lopez or Christina Aguilera to perform for free because she’s a crazy person who actually believes her daughter is a legitimate celebrity with star power others can’t help but gravitate towards. Via Reality TV Magazine:

According to an insider close to Kris Jenner, Kris originally wanted a big name performer like Christina Aguilera or Jennifer Lopez to perform at the wedding, but there was one problem – she was not willing to pay! With private concerts by both of the singers costing around $1 million, Kris opted not to go with Christina Aguilera or Jennifer Lopez, as she told friends she refused to compensate that much for their time.
… Instead, the wedding guests were treated to a DJ and Earth, Wind and Fire.

And it gets better, but just keep reminding yourself $17.9 million as you read this. Via The Daily Mail:

With Kim and the Kardashian clan’s preference for first class – or private – travel, it was assumed that Kris Humphries’ parents and siblings would have been flown in style to the nuptials in California.
But when William and Debra Humphries and their daughter and bridesmaid Kaela flew out of LAX last night, they were holding economy class tickets.
They flew on budget airline Delta bound for their home in Minnesota.

Kris Humphries‘ parents had to fly coach. $10 million wedding, but the groom’s parents can eat a dick. Fortunately, there are brief moments of justice in this world, and I like to believe this one reached out and asked for a tissue. TMZ reports:

TMZ has learned … roughly 2 MILLION people visited between Friday and Sunday night … a HUGE boost from the average weekend traffic.
In fact, the site only averages 300k unique visitors PER MONTH — so it seems all the fanfare from the wedding led to some serious handfare across the planet.

Despite the fact the majority of the traffic came from Ireland – “You can only get drunk and fuck a potato so many times, laddies,” I like to picture a leprechaun saying. – it’s reassuring to know that humanity is still being presented with objects and feeling compelled to seek out their origin. Their one, true, only-reason-for-being origin – and then masturbating to it. We’re gonna make it.

Photo: Splash News


  1. Clarence Beeks

    who the fuck does Kris Jenner think she is? Even with her last album flopping, Xtina would NEVER perform for free….especially not for that bullshit spectacle!

  2. Ed G.

    She “believes her daughter is a legitimate celebrity with star power others can’t help but gravitate towards.”

    That’s just because of the gravitational force of her fat ass.

    • Dr. Saggy (aka jlover)

      Thank you Ed, That ass has got to be struggling to stay aloft, give it a year or two and that can will be dragin’ on the ground behind her!

  3. Kris Jenner is an evil leech of a bitch. If Kim died today, Kris wouldn’t lament the loss of a daughter as much as her loss of revenue.

    Dirty, bloodsucking famewhoring, whorebag.

    • Star Droppings

      I think she would sell the exclusive rights to the funeral to People Magazine.

      • ZigZagZoey

        And then she would ask Xtina to sing at the funeral for free.

      • TomFrank

        No, she would probably ask Elton John to update “Candle in the Wind” again and have him donate the royalties to some bullshit fund she just formed to keep Kim’s name alive forever and ever.

  4. Richard McBeef

    If weddings had mouths, I would be in line to take a big shit into KK’s.

  5. Chico

    What a nice RACK!

  6. NTT

    You must have mistaken me as someone who cares.

  7. Jon

    What’s the world coming to when Earth, Wind and Fire are cheaper than Christina Aguilera or Jennifer Lopez?

  8. This was such a repulsive suggestion that it made Bruce’s face move. To think I saw that bastard do the ceremonial kick off of Soccer Bowl ’75.

  9. Billy Barty, Jr

    I think she should have given out blow jobs as wedding favors

  10. Kim Kardashian Wedding Christina Aguilera Jennifer Lopez
    Commented on this photo:

    where’s his wedding ring?

  11. fuck these idiots..

    hey deacon or fish did you guys just feel an earthquake in pa? we just had something in northern va, at least reston did (cock dr, you too right?)

  12. Banastre Trent - Holmes

    Blow jobs given as wedding favors ! I say , quite the capital idea ! I shall suggest this at the next wedding I attend

  13. I’ve never seen a single episode of the Kardashians. In fact, I know nothing about this woman. I can say without prejudice that I would titty fuck those olive colored fun bags until her face looked like a glazed donut.

  14. Tristyn

    Hey kris !!!! STFU greedy trash bag .no amount of money will EVER put you or the kartrashians on the same level of xtina or jlo…did you forget they have TALENT and and DID NOT have to bend over or suck cock to be relevant …..
    Bitch please !!!!! Go away far away !!!! Trust me you will not be missed ….

  15. Angus

    Wow…greedy gold digging bitch is cheap as hell.

  16. Ego, the living planet

    When I read, “the wedding guests were treated to a DJ and Earth, Wind and Fire” — I was really hoping they meant the elements.

  17. Venom

    How stupid are people in this country that they believe these bullshit numbers that celebrities put out?
    You have to be a a moron to think that this slag’s wedding made them $18 million.
    If it made them $3 million they made a lot.

  18. Adam

    Like she wouldn’t ask a million bucks if she could… Also, a research study proposal: Who on earth would pay to watch this crap? Let alone watch it twice as I assume DVD sales are in the works. This is an important fact to know as these people should not be allowed to vote or operate heavy machinery.

  19. Fumus

    Should have gotten ‘The Dan Band’ to play…

  20. Dean Keaton

    She is a narcissist ^3

  21. Kim Kardashian Wedding Christina Aguilera Jennifer Lopez
    Commented on this photo:

    Im sorry but her engagement ring and wedding band, do not look good to gether. Very Gaughty!!!!!!!

  22. Kim Kardashian Wedding Christina Aguilera Jennifer Lopez
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she’s just seen a much wealthier dick attached to some random guy.

  23. Hey Hick Fuck You!

    Kim is positively glowing. Her husband’s quality of piss must sure agree with her!

  24. Mari

    Robin Thicke also sang at the wedding for their 1st dance.

  25. Kim Kardashian Wedding Christina Aguilera Jennifer Lopez
    Commented on this photo:

    Lord….what is it with these midget women hooking up with gargantuan guys? Hayden Panettiere is the same way. Do they have some sort of giant fetish?

  26. Dean Keaton

    Saw pictures of the one with hoofs- Kourtney , I think . She’s a huge bitch. They’re like carnival oddities – we are all appalled at their disfigurement , but we can’t turn away and stop looking .
    By the way , any woman that wears Uggs in the summer heat is hiding cloven hoofs.

  27. Hugh Beaumont

    Just looking at the banner picture – her entire demeanor says “cheap slut ”
    I expect to see her in Vegas one of these days doing tricks for the high rollers

  28. erika

    Glad XTina or JLo didnt waste their time to a wedding thats not gonna last anyway! The whole family are money grubbers! Their trying to turn the young ones into grubbers too. Its really sad that the world is in the state its in byt Kim K had a 19. w.e million wedding! Have some class Kim and the whole K famiy maybe Kourtney will do a regular wedding like everyone else does! We call Prince William a royal wedding not KIM K!!!

  29. Lionel Ward

    Jeez , the poor Irish , having to choose between fucking a potato and jacking off to Kim Lardassian ! I do want to know how many times the potato won for an anthropology paper , please!
    Boys , there are other sites on the internet to go to , where you can see naked women from the human species , not just the Bigfoot and Bigass sub – species !

    • Maurice St Claire

      You might be right . I have suspected that they are from non – homo sapiens genes for a long time . The Uggs hiding hoofs or other bizarre forms of paws might be true . This insight has given me a new way to search for the Bigfoot and / or the Bigass species

  30. Lily

    Can these famewhores just die already. Every single one. There is no god!

  31. terry

    Chris has two wong foo written all over his bitch ass.
    It won’t be who’s wearing the pants in that family but who’s wearing the panties!

  32. Heisenberg

    Of course she would want those women to perform for free, she is a self-entitled whorebag masqurading and a legitimate celebrity, which we know she is not. She has no real skill, blowjobs aside, no profound talent. She can’t sing, dance or act as far as I know or can tell. She really is a step above Casey Anthony in the dislike level.

    • Hawk

      A legitimate celebrity would have PAID for the wedding instead of having everything comped in exchange for free publicity. It’s tacky and cheap.

  33. Kim Kardashian Wedding Christina Aguilera Jennifer Lopez
    I know
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha awesome a day later and he isn’t wearing his wedding ring.

  34. Kim Kardashian Wedding Christina Aguilera Jennifer Lopez
    Commented on this photo:

    I would motorboat that so hard Khloe could ski behind it.

  35. Buddy the Elf

    What a pig. In fact, a family of pigs.
    That poor dude is doomed. And I bet he ALREADY knows the marriage wont last himself.

  36. Greedy fucking narcissistic monsters.

  37. Carolyn

    Did I see Kris on a recent episode getting an internal exam? What a lady. Pigs all of them.

  38. De Vo

    Wow 17.9 million for a wedding to a girl I only know the name of because a few years ago I seen a video of her getting nailed. As I watched her taking the B B C like a champ I thought damn that girls got a nice big ass and fucks like a hooker. But then I got bummed out when I realized she wasn’t the singer from pussy cat dolls. Her whole family is a bunch of jokes. Do something current that contributes in some way to society. Filming your daughters blowing dudes…well.. is a nice jester but doesn’t count.

  39. Honest John

    All Hail , Queen of Whores! Make money whoring out her shitty “fashions” and capitalizing on our endless need to be voyeurs on ‘celebrity ‘ lifestyles

  40. forrest gump

    most americans act like millionaires.

  41. Kim Kardashian Wedding Christina Aguilera Jennifer Lopez
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she ever going to stop wearing those ridiculous wigs? She has longish hair but she feels the need to attach massive amounts of fake hair to her head. The fake boobs, the ass fat injections, the liposuction, the lip injections, the facial fillers, the botox, the painted on brows, the too small nose job, the fake lashes, I mean for god sakes when will she stop? The damn fake hair and fake lashes are just disgusting. How can you feel good about yourself when it is something that you have to attach to yourself? I really do not understand this at all.

  42. bbiowa

    This is why corporate America desperately needs tax breaks… so they can pay millions to promote their wares at a pissed-on whore’s fake wedding.

    Vomit is the new taste of freedom.

  43. Hello!!!
    Is there anybody in there!!!
    Your daughter is not ‘a legitimate celebrity with star power others can’t help but gravitate towards’. She is a fame-whore, always has been a fame-whore, and always will be a fame-whore.
    In case you missed it the first three times I said it, she’s a FAME-WHORE!!!!!

  44. Kim Kardashian Wedding Christina Aguilera Jennifer Lopez
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look at me, America! I’m tiny now, like Kourtney!”

  45. anonym

    why the fuck are people fascinated with this bitch?

    she earned $15 million for her damn wedding.
    People need to boycott this no-talent midget.

  46. anonym

    why does this bitch get all this free money. fuck

  47. Hawk

    Jeez Humphries, you couldn’t spring for some first class tickets for your Mom and Dad?

  48. kimmykimkim

    For being rich people, these fuckers sure are cheap. Actually, they’re hoarders. Whoring money hoarders.

  49. Veronica C~R

    Besides the fact that people would even follow the kardashians (how stupid that is to begin with) not to mention “who the f*@k cares about them! I don’t understand why anyone would think that the Humphrey’s would fly coach? I’m sure Kris shares his wealth with his family and would not make them feel less fortunate…the whole kardashian clan are nothing but money hungry whores. ..and oh Yea Kris Jenner, just cause u wear hella make up And tons of eyeliner, does not make u look young at all whatsoever. .it just makes you look way older than u are and desperate!

  50. sharone

    Disgusting. I hope that whole family goes bankrupt and ends up on the streets. Greedy, cheapskate pigs !!!!

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