If I was 16 years old with gold bars falling out of my acne, I’d probably buy myself a girlfriend willing to have sex on camera so kids on my bus won’t think I’m a liar. Which explains how Kim Kardashian ended up on this photo shoot with Justin Bieber in the Bahamas. On that note, keep in mind 185% of the breasts I see are fake/attached to strippers, but that really looks like a nipple sticking out of Kim’s shirt. In front of a minor. Now, I’m not saying that makes Kim a pedophile, but she should at least go door-to-door and let people know whenever she’s in a neighborhood. Starting with mine. *slathers self in black shoe polish* Okay, ready.