Kim Kardashian Wore Something Impossible To Pee In
As New York Fashion Week kicks into gear, expect a lot more impractical fashion choices by Hollywood’s who’s who in the coming few days… Kicking off the “WTF Circus” is fashion week’s favorite attention-seeker, Kim Kardashian.
Here we have Madame Buttqueen sporting what looks like a giant tuxedo condom with the tip cut off. I haven’t seen any video footage documenting her mobility in this thing, but I can guess it looked something like a cross between a geisha with bonded feet and a constipated duck.
Speaking of constipation, how does she use the bathroom in this thing? Ladies, can you imagine sitting in the bathroom and hearing what sounds like someone wrestling with a balloon animal in the stall next to you? That’s just ol’ Kim trying to shimmy out of her latex and evacuate the shrimp scampi from her dungeonous ass cave.
There I go, talking about poop again! I swear I actually am a respectable adult when I’m not doing this gig. *pops a straw into a capri-sun* Like, I can change my own oil on my car and I know better than to fart in an elevator. *wiggles toes inside Spiderman slippers* I even have investments and started saving for retirement. *dips hand into a jar of peanut butter, licks it, and keeps typing* Now if you’ll excuse me, I just got peanut butter all over my keyboard and I need to call my mom to help me get cleaned up.