The Kardashians Went On Vacation Without Kanye And Scott

“Yup, I cook like this all the time. This is me cooking. – *accidentally cuts off thumb, sparks and wires shoot out* – I just love fresh tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes…”

Because Kim is already smashing the gas pedal towards divorcing Kanye’s crazy ass, she and the rest of the family left for Costa Rica yesterday without him. Naturally, they issued a vague and horseshit-stuffed statement about why he wasn’t there and let me just quickly distill it for you, “Kim wants a divorce.” Via PEOPLE:

As far as West, the source says he “was never supposed to come. He is busy working on his music in LA.”

To which they felt the need to add:

“Kanye is really trying to please Kim,” a source previously told PEOPLE. “He realizes that his difficult behavior has been extremely draining for her. He is trying to make it up to Kim by going along with things that are important to her. The show is still important to Kim, so Kanye will support her.”

So that marriage is completely dependent on Kanye turning into a normal, docile husband? AHAHA! Wow, they’re fucked. But what’s really great is that Scott didn’t get invited either, and they were way less egalitarian with why they left his weirdly giant dick home, and it’s because he’s sticking it in anything that looks like his little sister-in-law. No, really:

“Scott is still in the dog house from partying at Sundance,” the source reveals. “Kourtney disinvited him.” Disick was recently spotted at the Sundance Film Festival‘s annual TAO pop-up in Park City, Utah over the weekend where he sipped on vodka cocktails and chatted it up with a “very Kendall Jenner-like,” brunette, according to a source. “[She] hung on his every word,” the source said. “At a couple points in the night, he would briefly put his arm around her waist — but she seemed more into it than he was.”

I hate to relish in the destruction of two families that have innocent kids involved, but keep in mind, those kids just rode a private jet to Costa Rica for vacation and they’re not even making memories yet. Something tells me they’ll be fine in the long run. As far as Kanye and Scott being left home alone and having sleepovers? That is the reality show I want to see.

“You gonna miss Kim while she’s away, Kanye?”
“Nah, I just tape two couch cushions together and bang that.”
“No way! I’ve been doing that for years!”
“Dope. I’mma watch you this time.”
“Sweet! You wanna make Jiffy Po– HUUUUWHAAAT?!”

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