This Was Kanye’s Wedding Gift To Kim

June 3rd, 2014 // 32 Comments
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According to the Mirror, Kanye West commissioned a topless painting of Kim Kardashian in a thong (above) as a wedding gift for his bride-to-be because sometimes a card that says, “Keep giving me anal or I’ll divorce you,” is too subtle:

Just stopping short of getting Kim’s bum cast in a precious metal – on track I Won he says “I wanna dip that ass in gold” – the thoughtful rapper has instead commissioned a picture of his new wife in just a g-string and Louboutins, called “Perfect B*tch”. …
The painting, which Kanye wants to hang in their bedroom, was done by anonymous street artist Bambi and, according to the artist’s agent and manager Leonard Villa, the brief from the rapper was “something regal but typically Kim”.

As for why the woman in the painting looks Asian, Kanye West likes their porn, too. He’s a renaissance man.

Photos: Mirror / Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. ultra

    That’s not Kim. I think it’s one of his other hookers. The ass is way to small.

    • It is Kim. Her ass was continued on the next painting.

    • anonymous

      Agreed. The artist was being kind.

      There has never been a pair of underwear or bikini botton large or high enough to cover the top of Kim’s ass crack. Her ass crack usually starts 4 inches above whatever she’s wearing.

    • Jay Leno's Chin

      Not only is the ass too small, but RayJ [or some other quasi/near-famous black dude] is not peeing on her.

  2. And that street artists name was George W. Bush. And now you know the rest…of the story.

  3. Because nothing says ‘humble’ like hanging a painting of yourself in your house. I bet they each have a photo of themselves as their phone backgrounds.

  4. Short Round

    Actually, this is quite romantic. After all what else could you give a delusional woman than a painting of what she thinks she looks like.

  5. North’s gonna love seeing her mom’s ass everytime she goes into her parents room.

  6. ‘Would have been way more romantic to give her a golden toilet bowl.

    “That’s when I knew… when I saw Ray J pissing on her… that she was… the perfect bitch.”

  7. dirt dog

    Please go away.

  8. brick

    If I had 20 guesses I’d get it wrong. Looks nothing like her.

  9. Robb7

    These two are a gift to comics, late night hosts and Web sites like TS who eat this shit up.

  10. Uncle Happy

    “the woman in the painting looks Asian” and skinny.

  11. If Kanye West uses the term “bitch” as a term of endearment, what is he going to yell at her during the inevitable melt down?

    “How could you have do this to me, you fucking hard working and dedicated mother?!”

  12. Why does the painting seem kind of blurry?
    *puts on 3-D glasses*
    AHHHHHH!

    • Rasputin's Evil Twin

      Is that “AHHH!” in recognition, and understanding what is going on, or shock, fear and revulsion, as in “AAAAUUUUUUGGGGH!”

      Either works for me.

      • I was going for the Charlie Brownian AUGH, as if The Ass suddenly seemed to be in front of me. I’ve got to work on my exclamation spelling. And my joke-writing ability. And I really could stand to lose a few inches. *sighs, pours drink*

  13. Kevin Stern

    Girl in the picture is too tall and skinny to be Kim. Kim looks like a fat hobbit, which is the opposite of that pic…

  14. Was this painted by a blind in one eye 5 year old with MS? This is awful.

  15. cc

    I can just imagine the painter…’Geez, I have to paint that entire ass….TO SCALE?!! Fuck that, I’m exhausted. I’m just going to stop there and tell them this is how Picasso would’ve done it.’

  16. rican

    Wow, I’ve never seen a photoshopped painting!

  17. In all seriousness, this looks like a woman with a nice body, tall and slender with a decent ass. The face also looks natural , the nose is normal not the tiny, short stump she had surgically installed. Now we understand why kanye keeps raving about Kim, he has body dysmorphia projection syndrome.

  18. chinochanginc

    that looks more like jayden jaymes…

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