Guess Whose Giant Ass This Is Squeezing Into a Car…

“Is that my grade school lunch lady?”
“No, dummy! It’s Kim Kardashian #LOLZ!”

Madame Buttqueen Kim Kardashian was papped getting into a car outside Dave Chappelle’s pop-up show in LA last night. I had a friend who went, so I’m about to call him to find out if he got close enough to Kim to see if her booty really smells like asparagus (a conundrum I’ve been toiling over for years). I wish these pictures had sound so that I could hear the leather make a fart sound as she plopped her keister down in the backseat, but we’ve got a few more years until that technology is available… wait… I’m talking about video. Whatever, I just want to see what her poop looks like… for science.

On another note, I’m an adult with a real job who spends his time at work talking about what kind of poop Kim Kardashian makes. My favorite color is green. I have a cat named Vanessa Carlton. My left hand is a little bigger than my right, but only I notice it. I like to play board games, and I enjoy listening to disco music in the shower. If you’re interested in going on a date with me and live in the continental United States, please message me on MySpace and we’ll chat.

Best,
Randy

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