My Name’s Mike, And I Like Kim Kardashian’s Huge, Giant Tits

Folks, there’s something I need to come clean about, but first let me make this crystal clear: I fucking hate Kim Kardashian. She’s a horrible, empty, rawhide husk of a person who represents everything that’s wrong with America, and more specifically, I genuinely hope she gets some form of AIDS on her wedding night which she just had to schedule over Memorial Day weekend when I get a Monday off I will kill your whole family I swear to God. She’s an incurable disease I’m forced to write about not because my parent company manages her personal website (They could give a shit.), but because she’s what you people want, and God knows I’ve got mountains of data to prove it. Even worse, it’s what I, me, like looking at because have you seen her breasts? They’re goddamn huge. She literally proves I’d stare at Satan if he had big enough tits. That’s who I am as a person. I’m someone who actually likes looking at Kim Kardashian’s breasts. No, that’s not true – *wipes tear* – I love looking at them. Oh God… *sobs*

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News