Kim Kardashian Wants To Buy Back The Rights To Her Sex Tape

August 30th, 2011 // 96 Comments

A “mystery buyer” (Read: Kim Kardashian.) has reportedly hired a Tennessee lawyer to purchase all the rights to Kim Kardashian Sex Tape from Vivid, so just assume this is the result of Kim’s fake wedding – [Edit: Which I'm now realizing was nothing more than a fundraiser for this little adventure.] – being overshadowed by the increased sales of her sex tape by horny Irishmen. TMZ reports:

“I was approached by a private party who has asked us about looking into the possibility of acquiring all rights of the Vivid, ‘Kim Kardashian Sex Tape.’”
The lawyer adds, “The party we represent does not intend to distribute or broadcast the ‘tape,’ but hopes to completely remove it from the market.”
The buyer also wants to purchase all of the raw, unused footage (sex tape outtakes) that never made it to the DVD.

In the extremely unlikely event the “private party” isn’t Kim or her mom, because it’s them, it’s time we admit to ourselves as a country that giving the rich tax breaks does absolutely jackshit to create jobs, but instead just perpetuates situations like this:

MILLIONAIRE #1: How do you like my new tiger elephant hybrid? I call him, “Simon.”
MILLIONAIRE #2: Bravo, bravo, but do feast your eyes upon this. *presses remote*
MILLIONAIRE #1: My word, is that the Kim Kardashian golden shower scene?
MILLIONAIRE #2: I now own the entire distribution rights.
MILLIONAIRE #1: I do believe I’ve been bested.
GWYNETH PALTROW: And I do believe I’ve found myself moistened in the hand-woven panties made from the rarest of silkworms. Wouldst thou do me upon the veranda?

Based on a True Story.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Doc Schweinstrudel

    ps: what I typed above, doesn’t qualify me as racist. Just anti-semite. The Armenian above is a semite, for example/ Ukranian is not a race either.
    (I don’t mind negroes, everybody should keep some).

  2. Ditty

    I would love too see the sex tape but id rather fuck Kim for real

  3. EDDIE

    The whole Kardashian family thing is nothing more than a trashy soap opera aimed at Jerry Springer viewers whose only passion in life is the ‘rassin matches & gettin a beer buz while watching NASCAR….

  4. The Twilight Saga Movie

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  5. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries People Cover
    Bond Seven
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear you looked tired of Journey ? It appears from your face.

  6. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries People Cover
    Nitha
    Commented on this photo:

    PLS SORT YOUR ISSUES OUT AND GET BECK 2GETHER WITH UR HUBBY,U MADE A VERY CUTE COUPLE ANG MAKE UR MARRIAGE A PRIORITY.

  7. SIMON

    SHE GOT (STILL?) A WOLKSWAGEN…CAPOT BEETWEEN THE LEGS¡¡IS JUST MY TYPE¡¡¡

  8. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries People Cover
    Claire
    Commented on this photo:

    Baby girl, you are on a roll. An interview and a feurate all in one week…both wonderful, I might add! You are on one loo loo of a ride and it sure is fun to be a passenger on this crazy ride of yours up the ladder of success!Talk to you later toot sweet (That’s Texan for real soon!).Trash

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