Kim Kardashian Wants To Buy Back The Rights To Her Sex Tape

August 30th, 2011 // 96 Comments

A “mystery buyer” (Read: Kim Kardashian.) has reportedly hired a Tennessee lawyer to purchase all the rights to Kim Kardashian Sex Tape from Vivid, so just assume this is the result of Kim’s fake wedding – [Edit: Which I'm now realizing was nothing more than a fundraiser for this little adventure.] – being overshadowed by the increased sales of her sex tape by horny Irishmen. TMZ reports:

“I was approached by a private party who has asked us about looking into the possibility of acquiring all rights of the Vivid, ‘Kim Kardashian Sex Tape.’”
The lawyer adds, “The party we represent does not intend to distribute or broadcast the ‘tape,’ but hopes to completely remove it from the market.”
The buyer also wants to purchase all of the raw, unused footage (sex tape outtakes) that never made it to the DVD.

In the extremely unlikely event the “private party” isn’t Kim or her mom, because it’s them, it’s time we admit to ourselves as a country that giving the rich tax breaks does absolutely jackshit to create jobs, but instead just perpetuates situations like this:

MILLIONAIRE #1: How do you like my new tiger elephant hybrid? I call him, “Simon.”
MILLIONAIRE #2: Bravo, bravo, but do feast your eyes upon this. *presses remote*
MILLIONAIRE #1: My word, is that the Kim Kardashian golden shower scene?
MILLIONAIRE #2: I now own the entire distribution rights.
MILLIONAIRE #1: I do believe I’ve been bested.
GWYNETH PALTROW: And I do believe I’ve found myself moistened in the hand-woven panties made from the rarest of silkworms. Wouldst thou do me upon the veranda?

Based on a True Story.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Fish I’m first!

  2. Tommy

    I always wanted to see the “director’s cut” (read: pee pee scene).

  3. If I had the money I would purchase it…..and then pee on it.

  4. TyroneBiggums

    Yeah, because businesses don’t cut jobs when taxes rise.

    Liberal idiot.

    • you’re a dipshit, go watch fox news and go fuck yourself.

    • Hey Hick Fuck You!

      He was talking about personal tax, not business tax. Why don’t you wipe your brother’s cum off your face so you can actually read the post. Secondly, tax breaks for the rich have been in place since 2004. Where are the jobs? I know you must love yourself some teabagging, but even a retard like yourself has to admit that if a tax policy that has been in place for over seven years isn’t working, than it’s time to change it. Now you may go back to sucking off your cousin. That is all.

    • TomFrank

      Do you know which state has the lowest tax burden for businesses and the rich? Nevada. Which state has, proportional to its population, the smallest government? Nevada. And which state has the highest unemployment and was hardest hit by the economic crash? Nevada.

      But clearly, the answer is less taxation and smaller government.

      • TomFrank

        P.S. I love how the conservative adopts Dave Chappelle’s crackhead character’s name for his Internet handle.

      • You aren't that cool.

        Calm down.

      • JoeSmith

        Faux intellectualism abounds in here as usual.

      • DildoDaggins

        Wait, wait…so you’re actually advocating BIGGER government and higher taxes? Oh “my” fucking gawd, I’ve seen it all now.

        Somebody get this asshole some help…he thinks the the government gives a shit. He worships “the man” like some idiots worship “Jesus”…”gawd” help us all.

    • rtq

      Yeah, because businesses create new jobs when taxes fall.

      Stupid right wing asshole.

  5. i want to fart in her mouth…

  6. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries People Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmm, Sausage

  7. DS78

    Don’t tell me “Tyrone”, Republican right?

  8. Buddy the Elf

    Such a disgusting skank.
    She doesnt even look human when she takes off her glasses.

  9. forrest gump

    americans must love it: LIVING IN THE PAST?

    • Fuck, but you’re an idiot. Thank God you’re not American, but I really pity the country that was unfortuate enough to have spawned you.

    • No, just a normal response to an ever-increasing flow of moronic non sequiturs from this jackhole. How Kardashian wanting to buy the rights to her sex tape equates to Americans living in the past is beyond me. I suspect it’s also beyond Googletranslate, too.

  10. I think the mystery buyer is R. Kelly.

  11. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries People Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    How? Why? Every pervert who is into BLACK on GREEK sex and/or GOLDEN SHOWERS owns a copy.

  12. Hey Hick Fuck You!

    Come on everyone, stop fighting. You know what Kim would say? “Fresh hot piss for everyone”! What a giver that gal is.

  13. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries People Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s see. Her new huband admited – AFTER the wedding – that he DID NOT KNOW that she was married once before when she was 19. Let me guess. Her husband does not know ther is a sex tape out there in public where a 3rd class black rapper urinates on her (pisses on her)? HAHAHAHAHA

    • No.

      it wasn’t after, it was way before. during one of the first episodes of the show. which were filmed half a year ago.

  14. Tristyn

    Putting lipstick on a pig ( guess what ? It’s still a PIG!!

  15. Juano

    Coming soon to E!; the Kardashian Cash Acquisition of Chris Humphries, oops, I mean Wedding! And don’t miss the action filled special edition Kim Shows it All, starring Ray J! All on E!, because we don’t miss any opportunity to coarsen the public airways!

  16. That Bastard Tony

    Why doesn’t she just simply make a new one? She’d make a fortune off of it and would have complete control over the rights and profits off of it. Hell, it isn’t like she’s a slouch in bed.

    • WhoTheWhat?

      Just a guess but I am going to say you haven’t seen it.. for such a sexy (but admittedly very cheap and skanky with no morals) girl.. she does fuck all in bed. I would have thought that if you are going to sell your dignity, at least put out a decent tape with a few moves…

  17. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries People Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    WHY THE FUCK is she dressed like it’s 10 below outside??… Da fuck man?

  18. Deacon Jones

    I watched that sex tape, it fucking sucked. That Ray Jay asshole was awful with the camera, he mustve never watched a porno in his life.

    The worst part was having to listen to the audio of about 3 pounds of lip flesh french kissing. I almost wrenched.

  19. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries People Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    hmmm… forehead acne. yum

  20. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries People Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    Phony ass bitch. Goes from no makeup to a full face of makeup. She must keep her makeup artist hidden in that fucking ass.

  21. JC

    Oh, silly Kardashians. You’ll never get rid of it. Trying to take videos/pictures off the internet is like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.

    (I used a piss analogy so that it would speak more directly to Kim.)

  22. cherry2000

    “And I do believe I’ve found myself moistened in the hand-woven panties made from the rarest of silkworms”

    haha omg love it

  23. riri

    it’s funy cause i blowed that comic david brenner one time and i forgot about it till i saw that picture now. guess when i go home from work i’m gonna rub one out. YEAH.

  24. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries People Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    I love how she tries to look so important. I cannot wait until the stop taking photos of this fat ass bitch walking around, so she’ll vanish into the nothing that she is.

  25. The Most Interesting

    I continue to love her denials when the tape starts, “Hi everybody, it’s Kim!” Unless, I suppose, she was talking to the other voices trying for a handjob in the vacuum of her head.

  26. The Listener

    Kim’s still trying to live down her shame and change her public image. Even if she were to remove ALL video recordings from the internet, people will still remember how she got her start in fame. You can’t erase people’s memories.

  27. Fester

    Why is she carrying that box when she has an ass like a lorry?

  28. Grace

    I doubt it’s her, maybe it’s her husband?

  29. Venom

    I for once don’t think the Lardassians have anything to do with this. I think Vivid made this bullshit up just to get more sales of the tape.

  30. While they’re at it, they might want to buy the rights to the internet.

  31. little turtle head

    I’m a guy but ray j has a big fucking cock!!

  32. Rufus

    Kimmie K., America’s favourite brand of urinal cake. Look for it wherever you buy Ripple and MadDog 20/20.

  33. Clarence Beeks

    It’s fucking August , and they are dressed for winter!

    Her old face is on that video- that is why she wants it gone. And the other poster is right- clips will still be all over the internet. Who the fuck paid to watch that shit anyway?

    • Colin

      Yeah, she’ll probably re-distribute it after a cg team plasters her new face all over it.

      • Mustafa

        You go mama Norwood! Stupid Kardashian skank goes on to pose for Playboy and then cries and moan when she poses naked for W magazine . even cailnlg it hardcore porn. Bitch is stupid. They’re both to blame but it’s obvious got a few pointers from Paris Hilton on how to leak her own .

  34. not this bitch again


  35. little turtle head

    shes hot and most of you guys are just jealous… I’d marry her!!!

    • Clarence Beeks

      cut the shit with the jealousy. The woman is referred to as a URINAL. WHY would anyone be jealous of that? she may have a ton on $$$, but she is a fucking JOKE.

      So fuck you, little turtle head.- come up with an intelligent comment, or don’t post.

  36. Johnny Cochran's Tumor

    Now that she’s officially (richer) and famous, she wants to remove the one blemish on her reputation that (ironically) got her where she was. When that’s gone, she can create whatever narrative suits her fancy.

    Remember, winners write the history books.

    A friendly reminder from the Ministry of Truth.

  37. She has got the weirdest nose ever. When she wears glasses, it looks like a perfect Fleur de Lis. And I love how she’s sucking in her cheeks to look thinner, but her thighs are bursting out of her boots. What a dufus.

    • Clarence Beeks

      biance, she paid for that nose and cheek implants! yet, she will still claim she is “completely natural”. HA

      • She’s had 2 nose jobs I think, which explains that mess. Plus buccal pad removed, cheeks implants, additional filler in cheeks and lips, chin implant, botox EVERYWHERE, eye work, breast implants, lipo, ass implants or fat transfer to ass and whatever else I missed. She had the potential to be naturally pretty, but she ruined it with all that crap.

    • Clarence Beeks

      she was GORGEOUS. There was no need to change her face- now she has perfect/plastic/alien face.

  38. krutboo

    Fish is right, tax cuts for the “rich” doesn’t create jobs. Tax INCREASES does of course. Somehow. not sure how but it must create jobs right? The rich who pay an overwhelming share (and rightly so as they make more) of state and federal taxes?

    Class warfare is the last refuse of the intellectual midget.

    • No, I’d say this site is the last REFUGE of the intellectual midget, and your rent is due, shorty. “Refuse,” as in garbage, is what you just posted.

      If you somehow know that “tax cuts for the “rich” doesn’t [sic] create jobs” and that “tax increases does [sic] of course” but you’re “not sure how,” you might want to look into that before you post any more deep philosophical musings on society and economics.

    • Hey Hick Fuck You!

      WTF are you writing about? Do you have a point? Reading retarded shit, like you just posted, makes me realize we should start taxing Crystal Meth. Unfortunately, I have a feeling you wouldn’t like that.

    • Bringbackbabalu

      Don’t talk out of your ass. Tax increases DON’T CREATE JOBS. THEY ALSO DON’T BRING IN MORE MONEY, THEY BRING IN LESS. If you want jobs, lower taxes. /end of discussion

      if you are in denial of reality and believe otherwise, than do some research or just stfu

      • Hey Hick Fuck You!

        Hey dipshit. Taxes for the rich have been low since 2004. What is the current unemployment rate and deficit? Doesn’t take a GED to figure out that the current tax rates are not working. Higher taxes also do not bring in more money? Really? Where did you get that little tidbit of info? Since you are such a fucking fan of research, compare the Reagan and Clinton administrations. Reagan cut taxes for the rich (remember trickle down economics?) and thus increased the deficit by over 180%. Clinton increased taxes on the wealthiest Americans and left office with a budget SURPLUS and lower unemployment numbers than Reagan ever experienced. You may actually want to do some REAL research instead of using Fox news and your asshole as sole references.

    • babalu is obviously sharing space with krutboo in the Intellectual Midget suite.

      Hell, I’d say just compare the Eisenhower administration with its 91% tax on earned income and capital gains (they were lumped together) vs the 15% the wealthy pay today in capital gains. And that was with a Republican controlled Congress, too, so don’t claim it was without consent. Think we could implement a national highway system today on what the rich kick into the pot? Not a fucking chance in hell – or not without borrowing the money from China, which would be a shitty idea and…um….oops.

      Look, when even Warren Buffett says you gotta start taxing the wealthy, wake the fuck up. The 376th richest person in the United States is a BILLIONAIRE. Imagine, if you can, in addition to all the manufacturing jobs that got sent overseas to increase the profit margin of every CEO and corporate officer in that bracket, all the lost tax revenue to this country over the past two decades. That burning aroma is the overbaked coffee you should have smelled long ago.

    • browny

      Higher wages create more jobs… the more money people have the more they buy the stuff that others make and that’s called, um, employment. USA give it a rest already. It’s over for you guys. China rules, okay?

  39. mez

    This tape showed her true colors..whore all the way.

  40. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries People Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    Roo Poo urine makes for big butts, now all non black women will be begging to be pissed on. I for one have just opened a business with my best Roo Poo friend who will be performing this procedure for a reasonable fee. All I need is lots of beer and we are off. Counting chickens before they hatch, just a lil bit…

  41. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries People Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    Why haven’t vivid released everything? They would make stacks of cash from it. Perhaps they held the worst bits always in the hope that kim would buy them back at an inflated cost to stop the public seeing them. FYI, there was no golden shower included in the released tape, so nobody has ever seen it. I want it to get released now at the height of her fame and watch all her endorsements vanish.

  42. Bringbackbabalu

    Are you stupid, or just plain fucking stupid, Fish? These tapes can’t be published without consent. Why would she pay money for nothing? For a video that nobody can watch or release without her permission?

    • If there’s something more extreme than “just plain fucking stupid”, you qualify.

      The tape’s been on Vivid’s site since 2007, and probably everyone but you has seen it – read some of the posts here, why dontcha? She was shocked – shocked, I tell you – that such an intimate video was being shown to the world, and sued to block it, which pretty much everyone but you figured out ages ago was yet another way to call attention to it. She supposedly settled for $5mill to assuage her wounded dignity and the terrible breach to her privacy, which included such obviously private statements as, “I want to tell everyone my boobs are real” and Ray J’s encouraging and equally private intimacies such as “I know you’re all going to be jacking off to this at home…go hard!”. Vivid had either the rights at the outset, or else a damn compelling argument for a release, which is why the out of court “settlement” *cough*previously arranged payoff*cough*. So they can do whatever the fuck they please with them.

      And FYI, ANYTHING can be published on the net without consent, or maybe you missed the whole Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee and Rob Lowe sex tape hooha as well. IEG Group had the stolen Anderson/Lee tapes on their site, claiming they had a release from one of their friends. Of course injunctions and lawsuits followed, but by the time the court ruled against them it was way too late – everyone and his horny nephew had downloaded at least part of it and numerous bootleg were distributed, so good luck rounding those up as well.

  43. anonym

    so this bitch earns millions of dollars…….. just for being alive.

    what the fuck !

  44. Tootles

    Stupid whore used her sex tape to become famous. Now that her and her entire filthy wookie family is on TV and making money she doesn’t want it out there anymore as she is already famous thanks to the fucking useless trolls that worship this hairy bitch. Whatever, kim everyone knows you like to get peed on, getting rid of that sex tape won’t change anything.

  45. New beginning

    I used to like kim…..I feel guilty that I was part of the women that made her famous, watching her show buying her book, dvd! But little by little I started to notice all the lies and that everything is for her own advantage, I don’t even know whats real on that kardashian show anymore, and thats sad! I really do hope that she fades away!!

  46. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    They should of shown her porn video during the reception. Now that would of been funny!

  47. Mike

    Those boots are fvcking hot. I’d love to munch on that box while she wore nothing but the boots. She’s a loathsome attention whore, but she’s fucking hot!

  48. Lolli

    @Mike’re still a virgin, aren’t you.

  49. cutthecrap

    i wish they would make boots that would be high enough to cover up her fucking duck lips and her plastic face. I can’t stand this bitch or her stupid family of retarded looking whores

  50. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Admit it Yanks, there is some silver lining to becoming broke…All those leaches of peoples will flee you soon for another beautiful donor country, which they will slowly destroy. Damn I’m even jealous of you, the more I think of it. Damn, I’d have you be the top power any day just let all those latinos and semites and urkranians have more permanent residence visas.

    • And we’ll still take the latinos, “semites” and “urkranians”[sic] over a bigoted racist Russian cunt like you any day.

      P.S. Mila Kunis says you can go fuck yourself any time now.

    • Sorry, I used to like your commentary, but that was before you started styling everyone who disagreed with you about religion as a cheap Jew. I have no use for knee-jerk bigots – why don’t you call up Mel Gibson since you obviously think alike?

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