Nobody Tell Kim Kardashian Sauna Suits Are Bullshit, Shut Up

Remember when we all closed our eyes, clicked our heels together and believed that Kim Kardashian got her ass stuck in a toilet? Well, this is the complete opposite of that because I don’t want to believe there’s a whole Instagram page dedicated to re-posting Kim’s Snapchats. — *holds arms out, looks skyward* Are you not entertained?! — But there is, and that’s how we know that she’s shilling sauna suits now, the horseshit weight loss scheme that’s immediately reversed by drinking a glass of water.


 

And here’s that strenuous workout:


 

And here’s Kim implying her “million dollar dream” was realized through hard work and not Ray J’s crooked penis (Shut up, you all watched it too.)


 

And here’s her gorging on McDonald’s a week ago because have we mentioned she’s a lying mountain of butt-fat who’s tricked morons into being her fans?


 

I’m not going to keep posting these because eventually I’ll get around to citing the possible side effects of sauna suits, which are “death from heat stroke” and that would look like I’m over here hoping Kim dies sealed up in a plastic bag filled with her own ass sweat. And that’s just not what we do here. *crosses fingers* Sure, we kid, but we don’t mean any real harm. *offers Satan deal for soul, realizes it’s Kris Jenner, gets transformed into a goat chained up in Khloe’s paddock*

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