Kim Kardashian’s Pregnant

December 31st, 2012 // 90 Comments
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“Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Matt Lauer?”

I feel confident saying that by today most of us have let our guard down and began to feel pretty confident that the world was not going to end in 2012, so we only have ourselves to blame for Kim Kardashian being pregnant. Our pride and decadence brought this upon ourselves. TMZ reports:

Yeezy dropped the baby bombshell on stage Sunday night in Atlantic City by simply asking the crowd, “Can we make some noise for my baby mama right quick?”
Our Kardashian sources confirm Kim is 12 weeks pregnant, and apparently several members of the K clan have been sitting on the secret.

Of course, the most ridiculous part of this news besides Kanye West confirming he’s exactly as stupid as he sounds, is that Kim is literally trying to act like she had no idea he’d tell everyone on stage, the night before the most wide open and empty news day of the entire year where it’d be guaranteed to get constant coverage. Because let’s not kid ourselves, the minute she missed her period, Kris Jenner cracked an eagle egg into a goblet and divined the exact date of this announcement from the bones and sinew, her powers already growing stronger. “Soon, Castle Greyskull will be mine. All mine. MUAHAHAHA!”

Photos: Splash News, WENN

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  1. Little Tongue

    Since Kim is still married to Kris Humphrey, does that make him the legal father of that baby? If so, will he have to pay child support?

  2. Snack pack

    Uh, no big deal here. They’ve been hanging with Jay Z and Beyonce who schooled them on how easy it is to fake a pregnancy. Did you all think that she’d be willing and able to take on the rigors of pregnancy? Please.

  3. Anastasia.

    Both are equally useless cunts. I hope their troll has her original features. That’s going to be one dark hairy baby.

  4. anonym

    Karma is going to be a bitch, and give them an ugly ass baby.
    I can see it already. Hideous baby.

    A daughter with Kanye’s face, and Kim’s ass. hahaha

  5. Burt

    Can’t wait to see how large that ass is going to get.

  6. The Infidel

    there can be no doubt that the bastard child will have a huge ass and it is my new year wish that it rips apart that Armenian whore’s pussy on its way out. Also, I hope it is stillborn

  7. ferfr

    congrats mrs. humphries!

  8. Wet Dream Therapist

    With such fucked up parents I’m certain in 25 years that poor kid will be on the Superficial writing lame comments to vent his frustration of all the hurt and anger his parents caused him. I know because I’m here too.

  9. wendy

    Congratz Kim. Who’s the father?

  10. Flieber

    What was that ‘music’ Kanye was ‘performing’? This is supposed to be some kind of musical/hip-hop genius? That was freaking awful! Even his announcement was auto-tuned.

  11. blumkin

    they are going to have the cutiest little turd together .

  12. Kim Kardashian Pregnant
    Ericappache
    Commented on this photo:

    Soon she can be called a MILF.

  13. Kim Kardashian Pregnant
    Aureliamel
    Commented on this photo:

    She is way hotter au naturel than when she has 10lbs, of make-up on. That being said, she’s still a void of nothingness.

  14. KK

    didn’t Kanye has that song…. what’s it called…. golddigger or somethin’

  15. mrsmass

    people are dumb enough to pay to see someone sing into an autotuned microphone?

  16. Kim Kardashian Pregnant
    quoi?
    Commented on this photo:

    i like her hair here…

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