Kim Kardashian Came Out of Hiding

September 23rd, 2013 // 32 Comments
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“God, how I missed the flash of a camera. Like a warm, wet trickle across my skin…”

It’s been over three months since Kim Kardashian gave birth to North West and only now is she starting to show her face in public presumably after undergoing the best liposuction whoring can buy. And of course she was conveniently spotted with Kanye so they’ll look like happy, young parents in a healthy relationship, and not two people who spend 90% of their time continents apart so one of them doesn’t feel like his leg is caught in a bear trap. Which, for the record, was a euphemism for Kim getting pregnant and not that time Khloe smelled salmon on Kanye’s pants. That was more of a vice grip.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Pictured people in order of importance:

    1. guy in the back
    2. guy in the back
    3. guy in the back

  2. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Kanye: What do you mean I have a kid and have to live up to my petar… no, parent… no, paternal, yes, paternal resposibilities?!
    Kim: Moo?

  3. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    We’ve secretly replaced Kim with Jennifer Lopez. Will Kanye…eh, who are we kidding? He’s not going to notice unless their schedules for dictator performances conflict.

  4. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    If ever there was a picture that captured despair on a human face, it’s this picture of Kanye.

    • Inner Retard

      That face is worth more than a hundred condom commercials, sex ed classes, and naked pictures of Al Bundy’s mother-in-law combined.

    • Bob

      It’s the face a man makes when he realizes how much his wife looks like her mother.

  5. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    She should go back into hiding and spare all of her with her drama and generally fake CRAP and BS. Go get peed on again and add some poop this time.

  6. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The fashionable look for young motherhood this fall is blonde, botoxed and swathed in yards of apricot cashmere that will hide a huge ass.

  7. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    The Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking an awful lot like Michael Jackson these days.

  8. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    Her face still looks horrible due to some botox or injections or something. I had originally thought it was from all the extra fat of pregnancy but now I see she’s on her way to becoming as jacked looking as Meg Ryan. Why do we give this cow attention???!!?! (I recognize the hypocrisy).

  9. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks great….and as we speak, the crazy obsessed myla Siinaj is trying to also colour her hair honey blond

  10. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    because people like the above choose to make the effort to comment

  11. Sheppy

    In every picture, there’s a couple of black guys saying it all with their eyes.

  12. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    …to reveal that she is now Jennifer Lopez.

  13. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    Kanye’s kinda making the ‘Bieber’ face (you know the one I mean, I won’t link an example) in this shot. Coincidence? Or is this just typical of being super famous, and of the overwhelming spiritual hollowness and interpersonal isolation of having so much fucking money that it might cause an individual to inseminate another gluttonous walking corporeal shell…only to watch that shell physically inflate with deadness before expelling yet *another* vacuous, contemptible human representation, the experience eventually going far beyond the point of any rational understanding, resulting in an expression of stunned sheer incomprehension such as demonstrated so aptly here by Yeezus himself.

  14. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    “That muthfuckah Todd from Breaking Bad is cold ass muthafukah… He shot dat bitch right in da bakuh her haid….I wundah…”

  15. anonymous

    Took Kim K a while to recover from all that lipo and other plastic surgery.

  16. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    Oddly, both those guys are imagining sex with her right now.

  17. anonym

    Her face is so plastic. Expect her to look like utter shit when she hits 39.

  18. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ve made a huge mistake” – Kanye Bluth

  19. didnt you mean to say “tinkle” in the first sentence?

  20. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s kinda looking like JLo… weird

  21. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    HannahMontana is a slut
    Commented on this photo:

    In every picture there’s a black man thinking, “I will not look at the Devil’s Spaw…..Oh, wait that’s Kanye! He must be experiencing the after effects of talking to Kris Jenner.

  22. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    That is a man who lives in fear of another pole jumping out of nowhere to attack him.

  23. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    looking good. i’m impressed

  24. Robb7

    So this is her whole image change thing. Dyes hair blond, wears expensive shit-ass clothes that finally cover up the lumps and a voila she’s a new woman!! Still a fat cow whore covered in urine!!

  25. janella costa

    she is rolling in $$$$$$$, that jacket is a Celine cashmere- $8500

  26. Kim Kardashian Post Pregnancy
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim looks so bad in these photos. And she doesn’t look happy either. Why is her baby in hiding? Is it just an ugly baby? Is it Kayne who is controlling Kim and doesn’t want the baby in the spotlight without a money offer? Doesn’t make sense. This couple wont last long. Poor Kim, she looks like a cow in the headlights. Her sister kourtney is much prettier and a better mother. Who the hell leaves a newborn baby behind to go on a fashion trip??! Crazy! I can’t imagine!

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