Kim Kardashian Came Out of Hiding

“God, how I missed the flash of a camera. Like a warm, wet trickle across my skin…”

It’s been over three months since Kim Kardashian gave birth to North West and only now is she starting to show her face in public presumably after undergoing the best liposuction whoring can buy. And of course she was conveniently spotted with Kanye so they’ll look like happy, young parents in a healthy relationship, and not two people who spend 90% of their time continents apart so one of them doesn’t feel like his leg is caught in a bear trap. Which, for the record, was a euphemism for Kim getting pregnant and not that time Khloe smelled salmon on Kanye’s pants. That was more of a vice grip.

Photos: Splash News