HOW MANY MOTHERFUCKERS MADE A BABY IN A MAGAZINE? A MAGAZINE!!!
Posted by Kanye West
PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET THINK THEY CAN CALL MY GIRL A COW WHILE MY BABY IN THAT ASS!! WELL NOW SHE’S GONNA GET NAKED!!! WHATEVER THE FUCK’S A STARPULSE, PUT THEM WORDS IN THE LITTLE QUOTES!
She’s keen to appear naked in Hugh Hefner’s publication again after losing her baby weight.
In a candid chat with sister Khloe, which aired on the family’s Keeping up With the Kardashians in America on Sunday night, she confessed, “I just wanna come out to the world, like, naked and be, like, ‘I look so hot. I’m back! You all called me a whale, Shamu, a cow…’”
And she revealed there’s one special part of her body she’d like the world to see: “When I came back from the hospital, the first thing I did was go and look at my vag (vagina) in the mirror and it looks better looking than before.”
GODDAMN RIGHT IT DOES!!! I LOVE THAT GIRL! FUCKING LOVE HER. AND I’M NOT JUST SAYING THAT SHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO CONVINCE MYSELF I MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE. KANYE DON’T MAKE MISTAKES!!! I WANTED HER TO GET PREGNANT THAT TIME SHE SAID SHE WAS TAKING THEM PILLS BUT WASN’T. DON’T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH BECAUSE KIM IS MY MARY!!!! WALK INTO ANY CHURCH AND THEY WILL STRAIGHT UP TELL YOUR ASS JESUS’ WIFE WAS MARY MAGDALENE! THAT COMPARISON IS FUCKING BULLETPROOF! AND MY MARY AND I ARE ABOUT TO TAKE IT TO ANOTHER LEVEL BECAUSE – LISTEN UP – WE PUTTING KRIS JENNER ON BLAST AND EXPLOITING OURSELVES!!! PAYING BILLS, FILMING REALITY SPECIALS, YEEZUS’ MARY AND I DO THAT SHIT WITHOUT YOUR SKELETON ASS! BREAK IT OFF, GOSSIP POLICE:
As for whether he and his new fiancee will televise their wedding, West is practical.
“I would take as much as possible,” he told Big Boy. “What’s official for everybody in this room and everybody on this globe right now is them bills. If you can help out with those bills, because you know me and Kim are in the exploitation business. We get paid to exploit ourselves. I’m [going to] give my daughter the opportunity to choose when she wants to be exploited. That’s the reason we didn’t take any money for any baby pictures.”
THE TRUE, HONEST FUNNY PART – NO KIMMEL – IS I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SAY THAT BITCH’S NAME FOR LIKE A MONTH!! CALLED THAT GIRL MUSTARD. US WEEKLY KETCHUP THAT SHIT:
The prodigious talent also divulged how he has wanted to be with Kardashian, 33, since he laid eyes on her many years ago. “I just knew I wanted her to be my girl for a long time,” confessed Yeezy, whose relationally-plagued past is conveyed through his smash hits, “Runaway” and “Blame Game.” He comically shared, “I remember I saw a picture of her and Paris Hilton … and I remember telling my boy … ‘Have you seen that girl Kim Kar-dijon?’”
PARDON ME, DO YOU HAVE ANY GREY POUPON? BECAUSE I’MMA TAP IT IN THAT ASS! HA! THAT’S FUNNY!! MOTHERFUCKER’S MAKING JOKES ON THE INTERNET LOOK HARD! JUST TALK ABOUT YOUR DICK!!! WE OUT!! *PUTS ON LEATHER JOGGING PANTS, PAUSES FOR A MINUTE AS HE REALIZES THE SWEET FREEDOM OF UNENCUMBERED LEGS AND WONDERS FOR A MINUTE IF FAME, WEALTH, WOMEN ARE REALLY WHAT MAKES A MAN WHOLE; KANYESHRUGS, GOES HOME AND BANGS KIM KARDASHIAN IN THE TITS ON A PILE OF DIAMONDS*