Kim Kardashian Tries To Adopt Orphan In Thailand, Orphan’s Like ‘Nah’

“I’m here now, child, your Fairy Buttmothe- why are you running?!”

On a recent episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, supreme ass-clencher Kim Kardashian pretended to possess a soul capable of empathy and compassion by expressing interest in adopting a young girl from an orphanage in Thailand because every episode can’t be about shopping and a mouse in Kourtney’s new mansion. Just most of them. Anyway, the 13-year-old girl was apparently savvy enough to realize she’d just be fed to the Wookiee which is what I’m going with. The Daily Mail reports:

Pink, an outstanding scholar whose mother sent her to the home because she was too poor to care for her and fund her education, immediately bonded with Kim and gave her a bracelet in a visit in April filmed for her hit show Keeping Up with The Kardashians.
But after being told the reality TV star wanted to adopt her, Pink said: ‘Everyone wants to have a different or a better life, I suppose. But when I thought about it I realised it wouldn’t be good for me, because I would have to leave so much behind. I wasn’t ready for that.’

Except if you watched the episode, you were led to believe it was the sage-like wisdom of Kris Jenner who stopped the deal by telling Kim you can’t just buy children from Thailand. You have to go to Malawi. That’s how Madonna does it:

‘I literally cannot stop thinking about her. I told (husband) Kanye, I was like, honestly, this girl is so sweet and so cute, like, I would honestly adopt her.’
She then appeared to abandon the idea after being chided by her mother for treating adoption like a shopping trip and then told by her resort manager that adopting children from Thailand is ‘very, very difficult’.

The resort manager then shoved three children into a kindly couple’s suitcase and two more in their carry-on. “Just so, so difficult. Ms. Kardashian. Miles of the red tape.” *puts another one in a laptop case*

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