Here’s Kim Kardashian’s Naked Butt Painted By A Man’s Penis

Kim Kardashian’s naked butt on the cover of Paper Magazine will forever be an iconic image of our generation (and the harbinger of its destruction), so why wouldn’t it be immortalized in art? Which brings us to Danish artist Uwe Max Jensen who painted Kim’s now infamous cover using his penis as the brush. Yup. Via The Daily Dot:

Jensen painted the 11-by-15-inch canvas using his flaccid penis, which he dipped in acrylic paint to serve as a brush. “I have my penis in one hand and the canvas in the other,” he told the Daily Dot in a phone interview. “I have a very skilled penis, art-wise.”
Jensen, a 44-year-old performance artist from Denmark best known for decapitating a sculpture of the Little Mermaid and urinating in a water sculpture at a Danish museum [Ed. Note: He probably should’ve stuck with this medium. – SW], was inspired to create the Kardashian portrait by the work of Japanese artist Shigeko Kubota. Kubota made waves in the 1960s art world for Vagina Painting, a performance piece during which she painted on a canvas with a brush inserted in her vagina.
“My penis is an organ. I need it to reproduce, and for sex and joy,” Jensen told the Daily Dot. “But I can also use it in my art, and that’s joyful for me on more levels.”

As for what inspired him to choose Kim as his second dick painting – his first was an unnamed Danish politician who immediately blocked him from Facebook – it was the oldest muse in the book: Butts.

“I saw this picture of Kim Kardashian and this very impressive behind she has, and I thought ‘This must be portrait number two,’” he said.

And then he just started bragging:

Jensen said he “painted” the portrait of Kardashian in about 8 to 10 hours. His natural gifts, he said, came in handy. “If one is ill-equipped, it is difficult to reproduce the small details,” he told the Copenhagen Post. “But if one is well-endowed, it is easier to produce a better painting.”

Alright, reel it in, Jön Hämm. You painted a printer paper-sized portrait of Kim Kardashian, not the Sistine Chapel. Don’t go counting your Danish water sculptures before they’re pissed on, and Jesus Christ, I will never write a more perfect analogy. Should I go back and retype that with my dick? I should go back and retype that with my dick. For art! – *unzips, tries to reach keys, gives up and uses thumb instead* – BAM! Just like prom.

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Photos: Uwe Max Jensen