Science Beat Kim Kardashian’s Ass
On Wednesday, Kim Kardashian’s naked ass and vulva seemed to have consumed everything in its path. I hate to admit this, but I literally had no clue the Philae lander landed on a comet, that’s how far my head was up her butt. Did you see how oily it was? A bus could’ve slid right in. And who’s to say one didn’t? Except there’s good news for humanity because, according to the Wall Street Journal, the amount of tweets for the comet landing slapped the shit out of Kim’s ass:
Yesterday, scientists made history by landing a spacecraft on a comet for the first time. Back on Earth, Kim Kardashian and Paper Magazine attempted to make history of their own and “break the Internet” with photos of Kim K. posing naked on the cover.
So how did interest levels in Kim Kardashian compare with the scientific milestone on Twitter? Neither actually broke the Internet – or at least Twitter – but turns out the comet landing was more popular.
Let me just stress how remarkable this is: Nudity lost to science on the Internet. That literally never happens. Kim Kardashian went full frontal (NSFW), yet more people were interested in a 12-year-old space program that dropped a robot on a moving comet. Of course, there’s always the chance that the Philae actually landed on Kim’s ass which is entirely possible because it does seems to be sending back photos of craters and deep crevasses. Get me a reading on those surface oil levels. It’s the only way to know for sure. Kirk out.