Kim Kardashian: ‘My Lips Were Puffy Because I Had The Flu’

Because the truth is practically a white man’s penis to her, Kim Kardashian wants everyone to know she did not get collagen in her lips the other day and simply had the flu, according to Extra:

“I have the flu. I’m puffy and swollen, and I have no make-up on. Why would I just do my bottom lip? My top lip was smaller and my bottom lip was huge and I’m thinking that would be the worst doctor on earth to do one lip and not the other. It’s definitely something that I would never do. I think my lips are big enough to my taste level.”

Of course. Just like she doesn’t have implants, it’s just really bad tuberculosis. Then again, in Kim’s defense, if I had fans who looked up to me because they think my reality show is actually real, I’d probably spend all day trying to fuck with them, too. You know, try to see how much they’ll believe until I’m making up stories about banging aliens which, sadly, Kim could probably pull off.

KIM: Oh my God, I met the cutest guy in space today, you guys.
FAN: I knew that’s where all the good ones are. *cocks gun* Imma jack me a rocket.

Photos: Fame, Splash News