Kim Kardashian: ‘My Lips Were Puffy Because I Had The Flu’

January 12th, 2011 // 53 Comments

Because the truth is practically a white man’s penis to her, Kim Kardashian wants everyone to know she did not get collagen in her lips the other day and simply had the flu, according to Extra:

“I have the flu. I’m puffy and swollen, and I have no make-up on. Why would I just do my bottom lip? My top lip was smaller and my bottom lip was huge and I’m thinking that would be the worst doctor on earth to do one lip and not the other. It’s definitely something that I would never do. I think my lips are big enough to my taste level.”

Of course. Just like she doesn’t have implants, it’s just really bad tuberculosis. Then again, in Kim’s defense, if I had fans who looked up to me because they think my reality show is actually real, I’d probably spend all day trying to fuck with them, too. You know, try to see how much they’ll believe until I’m making up stories about banging aliens which, sadly, Kim could probably pull off.

KIM: Oh my God, I met the cutest guy in space today, you guys.
FAN: I knew that’s where all the good ones are. *cocks gun* Imma jack me a rocket.

Photos: Fame, Splash News

superficial

  1. Drew

    Is she seriously that fucking stupid to assume that nobody else in the world has had the flu before to know that getting the flu doesn’t cause your lips to swell?

    What a fucking trainwreck.

    • Levi Coult

      lol… “I… uh.. my lips were swollen bc I forgot to uh.. take my vitamins”… people hate them bc they’re idiots wgo think the rest of the word is stupid. Hella annoying.

    • What a stupid bitch

      What a fucking idiot. Your lips swelled up “because you had the flu…” Yeah, sure, I believe you. Just like your claim that “I’m being forced to release my sex tape against my will”. I guest if you move to hollywood, reality & honesty are just words…

  2. Mee Mee

    Gee I don’t remember the flu ever making my lips swollen. Stupid cee u next tuesday.

  3. So Kim K is a lying two bit whore? Who woulda thunk it?

  4. Frobz

    Right, because we all know a well known symptom of influenza is swelling of the lips causing you to look like a human-sized Bratz doll.

    WHY is this moron famous?

  5. suck it

    oh.. well… if my lips got nice and plump from having the flu i might not mind it as much.
    What a dumbass. Does she really think people believe her? She should have just said someone punched her in the face. It would have been a more realistic story AND everyone would have been happy.

  6. Rancid

    Wait – isn’t that Latoya Jackson? I’m confused.

  7. Mike D

    If I were her, I would have went with ” I was getting anally jackhammered by a black NFL player/ wanna be rapper, and banged my face against the headboard… thats why my lip was so swollen.” I would have believed that much more then the flu…. and it would have been much more hysterical.

  8. Kim Kardashian
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    The flu made her lips big. A protracted case of chickenpox is what caused the ginormous ass. If she ever gets cancer, her vagina is going to equal that of OctoMom.

  9. Lisa

    Fucking lying piece of shit.

  10. Yeah, my dick is swollen because I have the flu too…

  11. Poison Ivy League

    Her lip is swollen cause she has The Herp. Stop frontin’.

  12. Parker

    I think she once tried to claim her ass was swollen only cause she needed to poop really bad.

  13. Robb7

    And this lying piece of trash made over $6 million last year because people believe her crap — and buy it up! She may be a dumb b**ch, but the public is even dumber for spending their hard-earned-cash on the poorly-made items she hawks. Wake up and support people that matter!!

  14. RN Astroglide

    Her ass is swollen because she has hemmorhoids, right?

  15. what a moron!

    LMAO. who’s lips swell because of the flu?? kim, you really must think the general public is as dumb as you to believe the nonsense that comes out of your mouth.

    and, the only reason kim showed herself getting botox on the show is so people would get off the plastic surgery rumors, thinking it was only a one-time thing. but again, no one is as stupid as kim is and everyone knows she has had plastic surgery all over.

    lying ho.

  16. sad

    she is such an idiot. how is she famous and why was she one of the highest paid “celebrities” in 2010? anyone who likes kim should really, really be ashamed of themselves.

  17. brit

    so which disease made her ass so puffy?

  18. Tiff

    I never meant to cause you any sorrow
    I never meant to cause you any pain
    I only wanted one time to see you laughing
    I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain

  19. Scrap

    Is it just me or is beginning to resemble JarJar Binks? “Misa didn’t get da lips a done… Misa had da flu!”

  20. gs

    Is it me, or is she starting to look more and more like Danny Glover?

  21. Nate Essex

    Always picture he being mad musty.

  22. my only one

    Actually the lip surgery was a better excuse than the flu,

    It is obvious that she has some sort of std, or something disgusting
    the flu lie is only going to make things worst, is like a lie on top of a lie

  23. The Armenian Lipfluenza claims more lives a year than Assifintitis or Pap-Flash blindness combined. Show some respect.

  24. Kim Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh I see- because she got the vaccine in her lips, right?

  25. nonminti

    that is hilarious.She caught meningitis as well! I am so sorry for Armenian people for any connection to her…

    • Nancy

      Thank you for your sympathy. When I was in 6th grade, nobody knew what an Armenian was. Now at age 20, whenever I’m forced an gunpoint to admit my ethnicity, some jackass asks if that means I’m related to Kim Kardashian.

      *shoots self*

  26. Kim Kardashian
    anna
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s orange

  27. akewlazzmom

    Riiighttt! Should have just said, ” I got too close to Khloe’s trough, I mean plate, while she was eating. I mean, I should know better, right? Bitch got up and hit me with her dick, er…I mean Kourtneys plate, square in the mouth.”

  28. GravyLeg

    I guess she is Patient Zero for the Whore-1-N1 virus.

  29. Bob Love

    Stupid Ass…

  30. karmaisabeetch

    FAIL. I just had the flu and FYI I have HUGE lips, I swear it and if anything I felt my mouth looked smaller and more lifeless because I was so miserable basically could only make this sound, “mmmmmm” …. WHORETRASHIAN no one believes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are a fake plastic bitch and finally your fame is dwindling! Go get married Kim, you’re done!

  31. Farzeen

    You people are soooooooo jealous of kim, why dont you step on over to her blog and speak it? Always hiding…LOL!

  32. Jimbob

    Which set of lips is she referring to?

    • Next Thing?

      With what she goes for, dark meat, liver-lips would be a perfect match! Why not just fly her to the Moon and leave the whore, there…

  33. hello

    the way she goes out of her way to lie is disturbing. as i’ve said before she is a sociopath.

    • GravyLeg

      Narcissist actually. Trust me… If you have the misfortune of getting to know a sociopath you will really know the difference.

  34. joe

    Everyone say it with “Bull Shit”!!!!

  35. joe

    Everyone say it with me “Bull Shit”!!!!

  36. Lemme’ know when she starts selling bridges because I totally want one.

  37. Meh

    I wish my penis swelled up a couple of inches when I have the flu. I’d stay sick with the flu just so I can claim to have a 9 inch penis.

  38. HAHAHAHA

    HAHAHAHAHAHA I cant stop laughing of this post… she lies so easy, scary!
    “the way she goes out of her way to lie is disturbing. as i’ve said before she is a sociopath”

    I do believe it too. I did read somewhere she used to steal, before making money…
    sad…

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